|| 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟎𝟑

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5th October 2007

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5th October 2007. Port Venston

Okay, I don't know shit about mental illness and I'm not judging either.... but I need to get the fuck out of here. This isn't normal, I thought as I slowly became aware of my surroundings again.

 Of course I was scared as a child. When I stood on the climbing frame at my only and favorite playground in town or when I had to give my first presentation in front of my class - the kind of fear that makes your knees shake and your stomach queasy... but this doesn't cut it.

The first thing I noticed was the musty smell that hung in the air and invaded my nostrils. It was suffocating, permeated with the odor of age and neglect. I blinked a few times as the dim light in the room forced my eyes to adjust.

"I'm not!" I've never been so scared as when I stared at the man in front of me. It was a kind of helplessness that made my body go cold and the blood draining from the hole his aggravated yelling pierced into me. Even if it wasn't directed at me, but rather the clothes rack next to him, who else would he be talking to?

The man threw his hands up in the air, ruffled his hair and ran around the room like a madman. I've read about this a million times and knew half the stories were fake. This one clearly wasn't. It was fucking real. Real fucking terrifying and he was standing right in fucking front of me.


My breath caught in my throat and before I could slap my hand over my mouth, he froze. Oh shit.

I'm a dead man.

Slowly, he turned around.

A purple streak blocked his view, but that didn't change the ice he sent through my body. The moon shone through the large window behind him, covering his figure and face with dark shadows.

Through the darkness, the whites of his eyes stabbed straight into my soul. His eyes were wide, his chest heaving, his fist clenched at his side. He's gonna kill me. The thought popped up. I backed away. He's actually gonna kill me.

The dull pain coming from the side of my head doubled the adrenaline activated by the sheer will to survive, the same fuel that kept my body in place. Move, Hyunjin, oh my god! I screamed in my head, but my limbs didn't respond.  A new wave of fear came over me, gripping my heart in its tight fist.

 I was heavy from the alcohol still in my nerves. I will never drink again. Heck I'll turn into a nun the second I make it back home.

"Your eyes are so beautiful..." He whispered and took a step closer. If I ever make it home. I jumped back like a stray cat– instead of hissing, I whimpered against my hand, which was still covering my mouth.

"I've never seen a shade of blue like yours." I'll never make it back. I tried to bring my legs as close to my body as possible – far away from the man who was getting closer and closer. My whole body was shaking. What is he saying?

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