denying love | tianekha

intimacy

"Are you really here to work...?"
I back off and glance away as a wave of heat spread through my body. "I know you're going to hate me but I didn't ask you to come here just to work on the project... I wanted to see you...out of college..."
I entangle my hands between my thighs, feeling the same way about it, I look down.
"I wanted to see you too..." I tell the truth in a murmur. "Good to hear...at least I don't feel obsessed..." she chuckles softly, grasping my attention without knowing. A smile forms on my face just at the sight of her gentle and flawless features bringing an unexplainable delight to me. She looks back at me, her eyes lingering into mine. I let myself fall in her thrall and maintain this contact between us.
She breaks it by crashing her lips onto mine with no warning, startling my heart and causing it to jump, but only making it brief, to check my reaction at this and how I feel about it. I lick my lips unconsciously, my chest moving up and down so swiftly that I wonder how I haven't fainted yet. She inches closer, passing her fingers onto my jawline to end below my ear, she gives a furtive but powerful look into my eyes, her mouth reducing the gap between us.
I cannot carry on, I need to gaze down at what she's about to put on my skin, given the heat that my face already has, I must be red. A smirk draws itself on her face before fading between my lips, making me close my eyes to just enjoy the softness of her, caressing mine smoothly and slowly as my entire body is about to collapse.
I kiss her back, getting taken by this moment and the heat of it, I turn on my chair to be face to face but her hands grab my thighs from underneath to spread and bend them, before leaning onward to grip my hips and pull me up, for me to end on her lap abruptly. She doesn't touch my butt but keeps her hands on my hips as I put my arms around her neck to play with her hair and keep on kissing her.
She cups the side of my neck, her arm pressed against my chest.
"Do you want to keep working?" She whispers through the kiss. I pull back and look at her, but shake my head to make it clear I didn't come here for the project but only to see her. She smiles but joins our lips against to stand up, her slender fingers grabbing my thighs to hold me firmly and move away from our spot.
In short seconds, I land on her bed with her topping me, her hands traveling along my curves with gentle subtility to not get on areas that are too intimate at first. I flatten my hands on the blanket to move back and get more comfortable, letting her climb on it and get together on the bed, without ever once, unlocking our lips. I'm nervous about the way it's taking but at the same time, I'm going for it blindly. She pushes her body down on mine to make me lie down entirely and rests her forearm close to my head, while her left hand is caressing my thigh that she made me bend.
"Tell me if you're feeling uncomfortable," she breaks the kiss to dive her twinkling eyes into mine. I nod and lay my attention on her lips, wanting them not to leave mine. She leans in and gives me what I want, while sliding her hot hand up the front of my body, her touch scanning every inch of my curves without missing one. I let go a little bit and brush my hands past her toned back, but by doing that, she understands that I'm loving it and grabs hold of the waistband of my skirt to undo one of the two big buttons placed close to my hips, to open it and then make the same to the other and remove my cloth that only needs to be slid away.
Once it's away from me and that I feel even more nervous, she passes her fingers over my bare thigh to go up, skimming my skin over my underwear for a short second that made me lose my mind, to then snake under my tight top and lift it up.
I stop her in her way higher. "W-Wait..." I breathe out in extreme nervousness, her big eyes staring into mine with confusion and worry. "What's wrong tiana?" She moves her hand kindly, wondering what's the problem with me. "I...I'm sorry...im-im kinda insecure about my body...you shouldn't..."
She raises an eyebrow at my words, surely taking me for a dumb girl. She gazes down at my body but smiles. "You're beautiful tiana.. how can you say that?"
"Tiana, you shouldn't think those types of things about yourself."
I look up at her, not sure that she's not talking that way just to do more with me. She stares into my eyes, not glancing away for a second, her lips curve up, "You're beautiful, I'm serious. I wonder what could be going on in your head to make you think that the girl you are is not sexy... every time you're around I can't help but check you out because of how hot you are and at the same time, innocent and cute... you can't even imagine what happens in my head when your eyes meet mine..." she sighs and lets go of my hand to look away. "You make me go crazy...but it's my fault, I'm sorry if I went a bit too far," she sits down by my side to clear the way out.
I gaze down at my thighs, seeing with my own eyes and giving the information to my brain about the fact that I'm almost half naked in my friend's bed.
"You didn't go too far..." I tell her without glancing at her out of shame. "I'm just stupid."
"No you're not," she replies right away, "I'm the one who is, I should have held my urges back..."
"I didn't say that I didn't want you to do it you know..." I roll my eyes, not liking the fact that she's always blaming herself. "You're beautiful so what's the problem...?"
"Nothing...I just...I've never been touched by a girl...that's the reason why I make this awkward..." I move onto the bed to stand up and put my skirt back on but her hand grabs my thigh. "Are you uncomfortable with me?"
"Not with you. I'm just stressed and shy, that's all..." I fiddle with my cloth, not knowing what to do. She takes hold of it and puts it away for me to stand in front of her in my top and underwear. "Do you want me to... help you...? I mean...I'll do anything to make you feel comfortable if you want to go further but feel too scared because of this.. I'm not forcing you but I just want to make sure you're not feeling any unease because of that."
"It's okay..im alright"
"For how long can you stay with me tonight?" She bites her bottom lip, looking up at me after checking my legs out. "As much as you allow me to..." I smile." Then you can stay with me as much as you want, being with you is all I want so feel free to be here as if it was your home."
"Thank you," I peck her lips, startling her without even expecting to, however, her big eyes stare into mine for a short second but she doesn't let any more time pass without kissing each other, she joins our lips again to move forth and go more passionately, as I'm letting her lie me down and get on top of me again. She kisses me passionately and I do it back, not wanting this to stop again because of me. She holds my jawline but pulls apart for a furtive moment. "Do you want to?" Her eyes fixed into money provoke a sudden jump of my heart at the sound of her words. I lick my lips, and nod to her.
She pecks me, smiling while remaining silent with our eye contact not breaking. "Sure?"
"Yes," I repeat once again without hesitating. "Sure."
At my response and consent, she slightly straightens up but to get on her knees. My cheeks now on fire, I just gaze at her as she's staring into my eyes and unfastening her belt. "Don't be shy, you're making me even more nervous," she smiles and takes her belt off to drop it on the floor. She touches my knees and spreads my legs to position herself right between them and take my hands. "Open my shirt."
I bite my lips at this order, feeling anxious just to imagine what this fabric could be hiding underneath and which my eyes aren't ready to see yet. However, I fight against my timidity and get on my knees to unbutton her cloth with my shaking hands while she's smiling at me. I undo it, to the full, my heart beating as fast as the speed that the light can reach, but once I arrive at the bottom, my fingers brush past her crotch, making her breathe heavily and catch me off guard at this enticing noise I wasn't expecting to hear, shivering me with what I've never heard in my life in real, and which is caused by something I've never given to a person.
"Are you sure you want to do it? I don't want to wake up in the morning and hear an "I shouldn't have" or "I regret it", so...please...promise me this is something serious for you..." she rubs the back of her neck, standing close to the bed while looking at me. I smile with the timidity that never left me since I was born and answer her with sincerity. "Yes, I am sure."
"Sure sure?" She nods with her teeth showing, the crinkles in the corners of her eyes appearing. "Yes, but I'm going to start believing you're the one unsure though..."
"I'm not," she shakes her head, taking her pants off slowly. "I just want to make sure that you're not doing this for fun...because...I love you and wouldn't want to make a mistake without willing to...that's all, and you can still refuse now or before doing it, I won't get mad or upset, I just know that people nowadays are doing this with friends to have a good time but not give any damn about the person which is something I can't stand."
"Are you in my mind? That's exactly what I think as well. and I thought I was the only one with this opinion."
"Gosh.." she giggles but sits down on the bed after taking her pants off in front of me. "I seriously thought I was the one who was too aside from normal people...you're seriously someone unique, for real..." she smiles, showing some nervousness, she gets under the blanket with me but lets it under the level of her hips to get on top of me and grab hold of my top with kind manners.
"Can I take that off of you?" Her sweet voice reaches my heart, not believing that a girl with her appearance could be such a caring and lovely person. I give her the permission and lift my arms up to help her with it, and end up in my bra and underwear right in front of her curious eyes full of lust.
A short time passes in silence, her eyes scanning my curves with a slight smirk as she's folding my cloth carefully to put it on the side when she literally threw her clothes on the ground without caring.
"You're beautiful," she touches my warm cheek and presses her lips on mine, to kiss me as I felt some unease at this, not really comfortable with my body even when I'm all alone. She slides her hand down my arm but cups my waist with it, making me straighten my back to not let her feel what I consider as disgusting about my body. I now realize that my legs are protecting the front of my body and establishing some distance between us. I break the kiss without any abruptness and look at her. She gives a little peck on my knee and places her hand on my thigh, to stroke it with her thumb. "Are vou okay?"
"Y-Yeah.but are you sure that my body isn't...turning you off. ?"
"Not at all tiana...it even turns me on to tell you the truth...and so much that I'm holding back like ever to not touch you more..." she bites her lips, her cheeks tinted with some pink. Maybe she's honest. "Is there something I could do to make you see yourself the way I do?"
"Unfortunately...no.." I cut the eye contact. "That's a shame to not see how pretty and gorgeous you are but... Do you want to wear one of my oversized t-shirt to feel better?
Even though I won't be able to put my eyes on your curves..."
I shake my head
She doesn't move from an inch, staring into my soul and switching between my left and right eye every five seconds as if she wanted to scrutinize the shades in their pigmentation and read my mind carefully, as if she could see something through them, understand who I truly am behind those windows. I've never been that anxious before just to look into someone's eyes, my heart is on the verge of jumping out of my chest with the intensity of its beating. I can almost see her soul meeting mine, with the quietness around us, our skins connected and the silent words she's sending to me through those invisible hearts perceivable in her look.
"I love you," she pronounces the words in a murmur, her eyes not blinking once as I noticed her pupils dilating even more than they already were. She took my breath away, without even emphasizing the effect it had on me. I felt a strange feeling like a response of my heart, banging against my ribs as if it was ecstatic about those significant words.
"I love you too.." I speak with feebleness, my voice barely audible as if I was too shy to say it. She smiles at my replies and tilts her head to the side to kiss my lips, tenderly, just like if she was telling me the same words but only with this endearing action. I kiss her back but stop once I feel her lips leaving mine, to head lower, to my jawline. She touches my waist, softly fondling my stomach while clasping the bone of my jawline with her lips as I couldn't keep my eyes opened. She drifts a bit down and applies light pressures on my neck, making me gasp at this sensitive area gradually getting stimulated while her fingers are daintily flirting with the waistband of my underwear, increasing the temperature of my body, and the speed of my blood flowing through my veins.
She fondly goes for it, kissing my neck and gently sucking on it, her hair tickling the surface of my skin and her chest pressing onto mine as we're progressively breathing faster and more heavily. She takes her time on that spot but in just a second, her fingers pass over my underwear and right on my sensitive area, I let a moan out, clenching my legs unwillingly but against her hips. The way she's giving me a hickey and touching me down there is incredibly not bearable anymore for the girl that I am. I think I might be easily excited.
She stops short seconds later, to look up at me, "Can I keep going lower?"
I nod faintly at her question that should not even be asked from the way that I'm letting her do everything to me. "Is there something you wouldn't want me to do?"
"I'm not comfortable with... you know...going down on me..." I tell her hesitantly, not sure I would want this for our first time.
"What about touching? You don't want me to?"
"I'm okay with that but not with your mouth yet, I feel too stressed about it..."
"Why? Is there something that you don't like about this?" She asks but with what seems to be worry or concern, not understanding that I wouldn't want such a thing that must be even better than to get to the next level.
"I've never got to know what it feels like but I'm just not...I don't know...I don't really feel comfortable with my body yet...but don't think I would refuse t-to do it to you if you wanted...it would surely not be good since I never did it but...yeah..." I let out with confusion, not even realizing the hell I just said.
"Alright, let's do something," she licks her lips and elevates her body a little bit to look at me. "I'm going to give you the best first time as much as I can, to make you feel a lot of pleasure like never you did before, if I'm good enough for you and that I'm not doing anything bad by accident, I would like to try things with you for the next time, to make you experience what you never did and maybe learn each other's body to know what you like the most and what you dislike or...do some things you would like to try..." she gulps down, "What do you think about it?"
I smile at her idea, feeling like she's going to really do her best to satisfy me but also make me go through things I never did in my life. "That sounds really great."
"Perfect," she pecks my lips. "You can't even imagine how glad I am to be the first girl for you and the first one to make you feel what is intense pleasure... But I would like to warn you at first before starting, this could be a bit painful so make sure to tell me when something is wrong, I want to make you love it...okay?"
"Okay."

A/n : helloww! i hope you guys are enjoying the story so far. I'm gonna keep it short and quick from here on, hope you enjoy~
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