The first time I saw him, I was wondering about my life and all my dreams. He walked in, like a God. I lost my breath for a little bit, and we exchanged the most beautiful glance, I could not believe that someone like that existed. His blue eyes, his long hair, his black suit. He was everything I ever wanted and I was nothing at all. I found my existence reduced to him, his skin, his rough touches, and his laugh that pierced my ears but filled my heart with lust and love. He's not the kind of man to look at a woman like me, cheap perfume, cheap soul, and cheap faith. The Purple lights made him more handsome than ever, if the God of war, the God of the dead, and the Goddess of beauty have blessed someone it would be him. I wanted to drink the water that came from his and taste the seeds that the land does not dare to sprout. May Thee forgive me, but I pray to one only, I get on my knees only to him, and he made me the only girl on earth, in his arms I found heaven, in our love I found hell. I could never think that love is a flame that does not burn, but with him, I don't mind the scars. He touches me like I am holy, he plays my heartbeat like a song, and I take shelter in him like a home that I never had. I am a hurricane and he is the wind that moves me.
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Dear Diary,
I was born a few days before the winter solstice in the town church. My father wasn't at home, and the closest thing to our house was this old church. It had been renovated a few times, but the old architecture remained the same, the tall moss-covered towers, the stained glass that caught the sun and reflected beautiful colors on the wooden floor, something you could only see and not touch for fear your fingertips would ruin it. My mother told me that she was alone at home praying during sunrise when her water broke. Legend says that I didn't like prayer and that's why I was born so early, God and I never got along. Maybe I was so angry at the prayer that I arrived upside down, the priest got my feet first and not my head, and everyone was afraid I would die right there, but I didn't. Our priest was a doctor, I don't know if he was a good one because after certain events he disappeared. Everything went well and I was finally in this realm, a sweet baby. I cried only when the church bells rang, it was a great commotion, and the priest tried at all costs to make me cry because he was afraid that something had happened. He told Mother that I was the first woman born in the house of God, then they called me Eve, but the funny thing is that I was never baptized. During pregnancy, my mother had this strange dream that I was in a church and the fire was consuming everything, including me, so she made sure I was always kept at arm's length. I loved the house of God, but I could never enter it. On Sunday morning, my parents went to church and I stayed home. My mother made sure I heard the whole sermon, so she opened all the windows in our house to make sure I heard the word of our Savior.
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Dear Diary,
Do you know how it feels to be broken? When something is missing? I used to think that God was the answer but I fear it is not. In this forgotten land, I found out that everything dies. I spent so much time sleeping that I forgot how to dream, until tonight. I dreamed about that woman. I was at the beach, the sea didn't have waves it was silent, steady, as if I was walking inside a painting. No wind in my hair. I was alone there, or so I thought. A big wave of heat came from the sea, bringing her, she stopped in front of me and stroked my cheek with one finger. "Hello, my child" It was the voice I heard all along, I couldn't say anything back, my mouth was shut, and it was almost as if I didn't have control of my own body. "You don't need to understand now, but soon you will. My forsaken child" The dream changed, I was back to the terrible night when I was a child, and my mother took me to the priest. I was sweating, tied up to a bed, crying, begging for them to set me free. Six or seven people stood around the bed, praying for my soul. The priest shouted, and everybody sang a weird tune that I don't remember. When he put the heavy wood cross on my forehead it burned and I blacked out.
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Dear Diary, I know she would never leave me alone, after all, I let her in. I let her take everything.
