Abyssal Reverie

Chapter 5: Jaws

"It's too late for me now; I am altered."

The rest of the day passed without issue; I hid myself away from the bustling ship. It was almost as if the rest of the crew much preferred that, as they all left me alone in the room down below. Time felt like it was ticking away much slower than the days before this had. My heart was the only thing I had to keep time- each thump reminding me I was no closer to solving this mystery today than I had been.

Vessel's words to me yesterday would play over and over in my head, "A broken...beautiful soul desperate for her pain to end. No matter what that looked like." The pain that was rising in my chest wasn't foreign to me, but it felt that way almost—the aching living deep inside my sternum.

"It will go away... eventually." Simon walked in with a tray of lunch. Potatoes and meat, some bread I had never seen before. "I know that you are confused and hurt... that you believe above all else you deserve to know why you're here if you didn't want to be anywhere anymore. But, we all, at one point or another, had reached our lowest day in life. Vessel saved us all... And he can save you too."

He was so small it made me wonder what he could have possibly experienced to end up here. On a ship full of people unsure if they wanted to live or die. "What did he save you from, Simon?" 

Simon smiled at the floor, pushing the plate of food closer to me. "I knew you would ask, and Vessel has permitted me to share some of my journey with you. He thinks that if you could hear how much of a pain the ass I was through this whole process, it might make more sense to you as to why we all trust him so much. Even without knowing where we all might be headed." He gestured to the food still on my plate and made sure I had a decent spoonful in my mouth before I continued.

"You might not know this, but I am only 19. My life seemed to be very short compared to the other big burly men around us, but it was riddled with grief. I was born to a family that didn't want me. No matter how much I wish they would have kept me, that my life would be so much different if they had just decided one day that I was the one regret they had, they never came to find me. When I was 8 years old, I had lived in 3 separate orphanages. They all told me how worthless I was. No one wanted me and no one would love me until one day, a sweet young woman came in.

"She had beautiful red hair that shone in the sun; her clothes were all extravagant. Dresses made from silks and exotic fabrics. I overheard her talking with the head of the orphanage that she wanted a boy—the boy who had been here the longest, the one who caused the most trouble. Back then, I didn't realize how much of a headache I caused- the games I would play with other boys and how they would run amuck after.

"After she had asked for the worst boy, they laughed and told her she would have her hands full with that one. Maybe she would want to see the quiet boys. The ones who read in the corner on a Sunday instead of organizing a game of hide and seek where the winner would get to punch the loser so hard in the stomach they would cough up blood. I remember her laughing right back and then- telling them they wouldn't scare her away with what he is like now; he hadn't been hers. They would never know what he could be if he weren't here. But she did; she knew what we could be like away from here.

"They brought her to the back of the big bedroom we all shared, just a few feet away from the front entrance where they had been speaking, 'Let's go, Simon. Someone has finally decided to take your rotten self away from this place. But, best believe she will bring you right back...' They made me pack up my few belongings, ushering me off to the front hall. They didn't let me say goodbye. They wanted me to leave.

"I was greeted by the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She was so kind, the light of life still bright in her eyes. Her hands were soft when she knelt to take mine in hers. The smile she had on her face reached to the heavens and back. She had asked me what my name was, and when I squealed, ' Simon,' She just laughed and laughed. She told me she once had a cat named Simon and couldn't wait to have another.