Abyssal Reverie

Chapter 21: Mine

"Still waking up beneath it all, And I'm still full of the love you want. I'll reach for you on faith alone."

When I entered my body this time, it was painful. Each of my joints felt stiff, my heart racing against the inside of my chest, and my hands felt foreign; I had to remember how to move each one of them as though I had just been born.

"Slowly now, Selah." II's voice was sweet. The stubbornness he displayed just a few weeks ago was long gone from his demeanor. I could feel a soft nudge as someone helped me sit up. The weight of the top half of my body felt almost like a bolder had been placed between my shoulders, pulling the top half of my body backward. My throat felt raw, no doubt because of the blood-curtailing scream I let out. I wondered if everything I do when I dream is displayed for everyone around me.

I could feel the aches and pains of each muscle as I shifted into a more comfortable position on my cot. I listened closely to the breathing in the room; the visuals of each inhale were painted even more beautifully when followed by their exhalation. Vessel was still a dark blue, almost midnight. The heaviness of each breath spoke to me of panic and fear. They were almost black at times as he worked to steady his heartbeat. Off to the left of him was a color I hadn't seen in this room before. A soft violet, the purple swirls far calmer than that of Vessel. A new blooming flower in a garden full of fully mature trees. It felt almost as though the person whose breath I was seeing was unsure, growing slowly every day as they tried to surpass the version of themselves they were yesterday... and the day before that. It must have been II. He was still so close to me, even now.

Simon's soft sunshine breaths had elevated slightly, but he kept his distance, learning from experience to give Vessel his space to work should he need it. Next were the soft swirls of green emanating from the other side of the room. III, whose snores were soft against the crashing surf, now dancing across my closed lids like a ballet of healing. I was ready for that to be all of them when, just beyond III, past his cot, by the wingback chairs, an angry red danced. The twirls and whirls of the inhalations mix with the deep burgundy of exhalations. My heart told me that it was IV. Reluctant to be there but ready to face the trouble head-on.

"Are you back? Are you hurt?" I could feel the gentle caress of Vessel's skin on mine, the soft strokes on the back of my hand grounding me. I didn't know what to say; a part of me still felt trapped under the crushing weight of the ocean. The hysterics in his voice caused my heart to lurch. Vessel was ready to mend every broken part of me. It surprised me how eager he always was to fix me. To combine the mangled leftovers of a woman who has been nothing but trouble. I knew they needed me; it was more evident now than ever. They wouldn't be able to finish whatever this was without me. And if we didn't stop bickering... we would die out here. Like lambs sent to slaughter. The silence was only broken when they noticed what I had brought back from my dream state.

"Selah. What is that you are holding?" II's lilt was different than Vessel's. It was softer, more breathy. At that moment, I was thankful for the blindfold. I couldn't see the shock on everyone's faces as I felt around the satchel, the sharp barnacles and corals reminding me of the fresh laceration on my hand. I winced as I reached for the buckle- unlatching the waterlogged rucksack for everyone to see.

"I don't know what it is." The burning in my throat grew with each word I spoke. "But I know it pissed off the Mother of Monsters that I took it." There was a sense of guilt, keeping her name from them. Insomnus. A Goddess of Hel and the keeper of the ocean.

"Can we take it?" IV had made his way across the room, his cloud of maroon following him.

"Ye-" I hesitated for just a moment. I had no idea what I could be handing over; with my hastened escape, I could get nothing but a quick glance at the bag.