𝑩𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒆 𝑩𝒐𝒔𝒔𝒂 𝑵𝒐𝒗𝒂- 𝑩.𝑬

•Not Here•

prepare to cry suckas 😜 y'all are gonna either hate me or love me for the twist

Jess

"Okay, what about this one?" I ask my girlfriend as I hold up a dress

"It's beautiful." She says with a small smile.

"You've said that about every one."

"Well you look beautiful in them all, my love."

"Okay well it's your birthday so which one do you want me to wear?"

She paused, looking between my eyes. She sighs and motions back to the closet.

"The long black one. And don't forget to bring a jacket, It's cold out tonight."

"Good. Thank you. Aren't you gonna get ready?" I ask her, stepping into the dress. I was a bit curious as to why she chose black, as she loves the color red on me.

"..Yeah. Later. Can we talk though?"

"Whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait. We're late."

Every year on Billie's birthday we go to her favorite restaurant. Because we go there every year, they always have our table booked in advance. But they can only hold it for an hour or so and we were late by half.

"Can you zip me up?"

"You know I can't do that." She says, her tone changing to a sadder one.

"And why not?" I laugh, doing it up myself as I fix my hair.

"Jessie."

"What?" I ask, turning to face her.

"You can't keep doing this."

"Doing what?"

"Pretending like I'm still here." She says quietly

"But you are."

"I'm not. And you know it."

My face drops, and I start to tear up as my breathing shallows out.

"I know it hurts baby but you have to remember. You have to grieve and you have to stop pretending like what happened didn't happen."

I shake my head. "Stop it."

"Jessie," She says softly

"No." I turn my head away from her

"Jessie." She says more firm

"I don't want to do this."

"But you have to." She says, looking me in my eyes as I start to see through her. My tears pool heavier, a few falling down my cheeks.

"Jessie. I'm not here. I died a month ago in the car crash."

I take a deep breath and shake my head.

"Look in the mirror. You have a scar on your forehead from it."

I shake my head more, closing my eyes and covering my face as I hold in my cries.

"Look in the mirror baby. Please." She begs

I slowly turn around and look into the mirror, seeing the scar on my forehead just like she said. I start to cry, reaching up to run my fingers over it.

"I know it hurts baby. But you have to let it hurt, you have to grieve me. You can't keep going on like I'm here, it's not healthy."

I completely break down, my hand covering my mouth and I turn away from the mirror, sliding down the wall as I clutch my chest. I faintly see Billie crouch down in front of me.