The artist and his muse (Namkook)

Chapter 5: Change

The rough epidermis cutting through the soft ones producing the taste of blood felt like a gore pleasure that no one was backing away from. One tongue collided with the other fighting for dominance. When the grip on one's waist got firmer, one lost the dominance while the other tried to suck the soul out of the submissive one.

It's not a dream, Namjoon!
It's reality!
You are kissing him!
Without his permission!
He is kissing back out of fear!
He is now scared of you!
You are just playing with him!

Namjoon backed away from the kiss, but still holding onto the other's waist while Jungkook was still clutching the collar of the elder's t-shirt. Their lips were still connected by a slobbery string. Jungkook's bitten lips that had blood droplets on it, were a reminder of his carelessness. He let his hold go loose on the younger's body and took two steps backward. Jungkook was just standing being speechless.

"I'm sorry, Jungkook." Namjoon apologised with his gaze down and left the studio.

Jungkook's ability to think had gone vanished for few minutes as he was still standing on the same place, staring at the closed door. When it was clear that Namjoon had kissed him and he kissed him back, his legs became wobbly and he sat down abruptly on the nearest chair. He lifted his fingers to touch his lips which was still bleeding. It was Namjoon's touch that still had an impact on him. He has never even thought of the elder like that, but why did he kiss back? Why didn't he push him away? All these doubts came rushing to his nerves.

After waiting for few hours in the studio, Jungkook finally decided to leave as there was no trace of the artist coming back. Calling over phone seemed apparently awkward, so he dropped the idea. The rest of the day went controlling a palpable heart and a hyperactive mind.

Taking slow and nervous steps, the intern reached the studio next day and when he was about to twist the knob to unlock the door, a voice called out.
"Jeon Jungkook?" It was Namjoon's manager.
"Yes!"
"You are assigned to artist Park Robin. It's second floor, 3rd studio room from the left. Here's your allocation sheet." The man handed out the official document where it was written that Jungkook will be working under Park Robin from now on.

"I'm sorry but I don't understand. I'm assigned to artist Kim Namjoon."
"The assignments were shuffled today morning as Namjoon-shi will be working from his home studio for few days due to family issues."

Robin was a senior artist and was really interactive. He had four interns assigned under him, making it quite an interesting session. But, Jungkook's mind was stuck somewhere else. What could have suddenly happened that Namjoon would stop coming to studio? Or was he just avoiding Jungkook?

"What's wrong, Kook?" Soyoon asked sitting on the edge of the bed where Jungkook was lying with his face buried in the pillow. It's been more than a week since Jungkook got reassigned and she has seen significant change in his behaviour. He won't talk much, didn't even irritate her which was too unusual for the sibling duo.
"Nothing noona, just tired." He responded without lifting his head.
"I can see that! Tell me what's bothering you."

Finding comfort in his sister's words, he sat right up and disclosed the mystery.

"He kissed me and I kissed him back."
"What????"
"I didn't know what to do, I just felt like kissing back was the only thing I could do at the moment." Jungkook's fiddling fingers, shaky hands were enough for Soyoon to figure out her brother's situation.

"You kissed Kim Namjoon? I mean the Kim Namjoon?" She wanted to verify.
"He pulled me towards him and kissed on my lips, I kissed back." So-yoon held her head in her palms to process everything her brother just revealed.

"Okay! What happened then?" She took deep breath to continue asking.
"It was about a week ago, he left saying sorry to me and then the next day I found out I was assigned to another artist while he would be working in his home studio for some family issues."
"I guess it's not about family, Kook."
"I don't know noona. It's so messed up. What should I do now?"
"Do you have his number?"
"I won't call him, it will be so awkward."
"He might have realised his mistake, just give some time, he might get back and then you can talk to him."

Jungkook's silence prevailed for few minutes when Soyoon asked, "What do you expect him to do, Kook?" That question really did make the boy think what he wanted Namjoon to tell.
"I don't know, maybe we can just talk?"
"What do you want to talk to him about?"
"I'm not sure, it could be anything. I just want to hear his voice, noona."

Soyoon's was left shocked at her brother's words. She has always found Jungkook to be casual with his dating life. He has dated few guys before, but those ended mutually and he was never heart broken for anyone. Then why was he sounding so monotonous talking about Namjoon? Was he attracted to the artist?

Jungkook cursed himself for reciprocating the kiss. He regrets of letting himself get carried away by the man who just played with his emotion. But he had kissed a good deal of men before, he has dated few too. The question that arose in his mind was why he wanted to experience the same again even if it was just for once.

He needed answers to all the questions!

You gotta admit it
Don't you get it still?
Someday a great grief will do come for you
Hmm, yeah
And then you'll know it too
You can't love someone like I do
That's all I can say to you
- Kim Namjoon

The glass got shattered into pieces as it was pushed off the table. The paint brushes, the sharpened charcoal pencils, the white sheets, the palette-all lying around the table, floor, everywhere in the room. Sheets after sheets were used up to draw a pair of lips, a pair of eyes. Nothing came out right!

You can never like me, Jungkook!
You can never be mine!
You are just an illusion!
You are the unachieved dream!
You will always be the only person I fell in love with!

The door bell rang continuously which passed Namjoon's tolerance threshold and he was about to shout at the incoming person opening the door. The door remained opened, but neither did Namjoon shout at the trespasser nor did he try to close the door.

The hallway of the floor and the living room echoed with a loud sound. A full hand got imprinted on Namjoon's left cheek.

It was the hardest slap he ever got in his life!