ONE MORE TIME

I said I'd do better
When? My mind says "never"
Said I'd walk away and quit
But temptation for devastation, comes back to hit
The feeling is reeling me in
I can't give up on the demon within
We're gonna go through it all one more time
Disguise it as a different rhyme
Recycle the cycle of reverse psychological hope
Tell and never show the ability to cope
Write about the same exact thing
Assume they're sick of listening
I'll just do it anyway
Gave up on those dreams, like yesterday
In the dumpster, every word I wrote
Don't quote some expired rhyme
Let's go through it one more time

Like a guy, don't know him at all
But you see some story in his eyes
You watch yourself fall
Deeper into those blue eyes and self-lies
Flustered with some fan-fiction you want to be friction
But acting on these words is out of the question
Watch the fire die and find a new pawn for your own self-deception
Light a new flame, find a well, and throw a dime
Let's go through it one more time

Self-aware depression
Mental maniac compression
Summer of self-deprecatiom
Social self-annihilation
Partial accountability
A murder and suicide of an apology
Prays on their guilt of him pleading guilty
Just look the other way as the lies wilt
Feel the thrill in crushing down all that you've built
Build a new wall, fall off the climb
Let's go through it one more time

Let's point fingers
Distrust lingers
Play the blame game
Either way it ends all the same
With an unspoken grudge
Slowly trudge, bitterly
Can't slash your newfound enemy?
Just stick to the walls silently
Then sharpen your words violently
His memory paralyzes you like some sticky slime
Let's go through it one more time

Can't get out of bed
Creativity's dead or you're bathed in dread
Your shadows grew eyes and horns
Suddenly your skin feels thorns
Swear that you're not crazy
The memory feels hazey
Your mind's playing games on you
Yet the worst has yet to ensue
So-called "demons" are hallucinations
Stare into the mirror and write the best evasions
Watch the glass shatter

You can be the mad hatter
With the words you'll write, but never say
Ambition dies, every day
Every day, with every rhyme
Every well, with every dime
Every wall, with every climb
Every memory, all the slime
Let's go through it one more time

Let's walk past the fights I heard through the walls at age 9
How I wrote, 5 years later, a story where they all died
When he saw the resemblance and, he cried
Went through 3 therapists, but at least I tried
Will repeat the same mistake, never stop to double take
Every repeat, every rhyme
Every denial, every lie
I felt sorrow but never could cry
Too heartless to form connection
But refuses emotional protection
Steers from any self-correction
I do it all the time
I'll say that I'm fine
Let's go through it one more time