Big Bend (g/t)

Movies

Zoey

I lay in my tent, staring at the canvas ceiling. It had faded from light green to nearly black as the sun light outside faded.

God, life has a lot of plot twists.

If anyone had asked me if I thought I'd be sort of living in a tent in some random part of Texas last year, I probably wouldn't have considered it likely. I'd actually thought I was going to be married by now.

Thank God that didn't happen.

Texas was, at least, one place I was pretty sure he wouldn't come find me, if only because it was literally on the other side of the country. At least, I hoped so. I tried to push that unsettling thought from my mind. It didn't work. It never really did. I'd found myself jumping at every crunch of the gravel, half expecting to see a familiar red pick up truck coming up the road.

I had gotten some good news recently, at least. The gift shop at the park was hiring, and I'd had an interview for a position there earlier that morning. It had gone well. More than well - I'd been offered the job. That, in turn, offered some sorely needed hope, given that my savings would only last so long. Better yet, it also offered housing. I hadn't really been playing on staying at the park for more than a night, at first, but then again, I hadn't really been planning on any of this. And a job was a job.

It wasn't like I disliked the park anyways. Pretty much the opposite. From what I'd seen of it so far, it was absolutely gorgeous. It also seemed to have no shortage of interesting characters, from the less than friendly woman I'd bumped into yesterday to the Aphirial the park service had decided to hire. He seemed nice, if not kind of sad.

That's something I can relate to.

I'd long felt like I didn't really fit into the world. Of course, he quite literally didn't fit in, and I considered what that was like. Probably pretty alienating. He had looked like he'd been crying when I ran into him the first time. Also something I could relate to. I'd been doing that a lot in my tent recently. I found myself wondering if he sat outside by that cliff frequently - if I'd find him there again.

Is that weird? I don't want to seem like I'm stalking him or something. Then again, he did recognize me yesterday and seemed happy enough to talk. I think. I could just go on a walk, get some fresh air, and if I happen to run into him, that wouldn't be too weird, right?

Totally.

Getting fresh air and stretching my legs did sound like a good idea either way, admittedly. I'd spent most of the afternoon curled up in my tent, a variety of less than fun memories swirling through my mind. I nodded, committing to my decision, and pulled myself up. I fumbled around for my flashlight - it had grown pitch black in the time I'd been laying there. I felt the hard plastic casing after a moment, and switched it on.

Ability to see now returned, I grabbed a hoodie and pulled it on, followed by some socks. I had actually stopped by the visitor center and learned that the only notably dangerous large animals in the area were cougars, but that they didn't frequently attack people. Just in case, though, I also grabbed the bear spray I'd brought from up north, deciding I probably didn't need to tempt fate by making a habit of horror movie esque decisions.

The desert air was far cooler than it had been during the day - chilly, almost. That still felt amazing to me. There definitely hadn't been as much variation in temperature where I'd lived previously. It was mostly just cold or really, really cold for the better part of the year.

I made my way past a few other campsites as I walked down the road. A group of people sat around a fire at one, laughing as they roasted s'mores. I felt a pang of longing at the sight. My relationship with Jake had ended with me being isolated from pretty much everyone but him.