Through the Glimpses of Him

His Facade

~Sometimes a facade is made for our own growth, for blending in and not seeing desperate about it. But what facades hide....when the facades made... perhaps...We all need a facade at times, to figure stuff out~

Years of tries
To see a glimpse of him
Over his build facade, his over 'trails' 
To merge in, blend in, fade in or fade away

It was fun, a part of him seen in the facade
But I knew better, so cautiously I wait
To know who he really is from in there

Any image in my head, shattered over time
Couldn't pin point in his directions
Over the bridge walls that he hid
Curious as to what's in there
I tried to peek
But perhaps that's now how it was meant to be

I tried to reach out, but Hell would break lose
As if he was hiding the darkness, controlling it inside
Not letting the figures of it touch me, with all his might
Sometimes glitching personalities over time

But at the very least, I could make out just one thing
He wanted to hide, He wanted to help
He didnt want to be saved by someone
he wanted to be saved by himself, Alone on his journey

And perhaps, that bothered me.....
for Me, being alone with one's thoughts is a curse,
I am not used to it, always running
While he is the one who stays and face
those shadows in his head
Sometimes with gratitude, sometimes with rage
But certainly, he always faced

Now that I look back, 
It wasn't a facade
A boy trying to find his way
Overindulging in the needless involvement as if its a grace
A kind action, perhaps a blessing amongst the maze
of his overthinking mind and shadowed life

He was just growing and knowing...
Reaching out and touching,
Only to have his hands sliced with glass 
Of many whom he thought
Could hold his hands....

I don't blame the ones who went though
He hasn't got everything figured out himself
but what I noticed was a lesson
Of how they ignored that during their fights with him
He may been hurting, or he may be hurting them
His hands may have bleed from the accusations  thrown on him
yet, he held their hand, even when fighting 
Even when holding itself was hurting them

I got him all wrong
and I know that
But what I can't seem to understand
Is how he can't see
How admirable he can be?
Of the strength that's within him
How he can't see
How brave he is

My views have still changed, they aren't formed yet
I am still knowing him
Am I putting him on a pedestal?
Maybe, Maybe not
All I know is
He is far more brave than he think
And he is far more than what he seems 

~Sometimes, all a facade does is hide the bleeding heart inside
Allowing to gather the scattered pieces
And not hurt the ones who are there, 
By hurting yourself
Piece by piece~ 

Facade here, I mean a mask over yourself for any purpose. Not showing your true self, or true emotions or what you're feeling on the inside at that moment.