Petrichor [J.T.]

Chapter 15 - Bleeding Out

The next day comes around, Jason waking up first and it's the first full night's rest he's gotten since coming back. It wasn't exactly the best sleep he's ever gotten, given his general discomfort but it was a lot better than how he has been. And there's a smile that comes to his face as Sam is still cuddled into his side, his arm draped around her shoulders. For a second, he thinks they could just stay like this. He doesn't really feel too bad right now so they could just stay like this. Forget everything about Crane and the Titans, they can exist how they were before. It feels like it did then anyway. But, Jason knows that can't happen. Not yet.

With a clear head and some sleep, he knows he needs to make it right with everyone else. He wants to go home. He doesn't want to spend his life hiding out and making Sam hide with him. That's not fair to either of them. That's not fair to Gar either or Molly. Jason wants his own life back. It's time he takes it back into his own hands and that means asking Sam to talk to Dick when she wakes up.

Jason lets out a steady breath, carefully trying to move out from under Sam but it ends up stirring her awake slightly, earning him a groan.

"Stay." Sam mutters. "Tired." Sam's hand slides over Jason's torso until she reaches his side where she grips the excess fabric of his hoodie.

Jason's chest rumbles beneath her with a chuckle. He rests his chin on top of her head instead of kissing her like he'd normally do. The smile starts to fall short as the chuckle subsides.

"When was the last time you slept?" He asks quietly.

"When was the last time you slept?" Sam asks right back, keeping her eyes closed.

"Asked you first." Jason quips back, subconsciously pulling her closer into him.

He gets a low hum from her. "Dunno."

Jason moves his hand from her back up to her shoulder, his fingers lightly tracing over her shoulder. His heart weighs heavy in his chest, knowing a large part of her lack of sleep is because of him. Maybe staying in bed all day isn't such a bad idea.

"You need to sleep." Jason says, his voice caught somewhere between stern and worried.

His tone gets Sam to finally peek her eyes open and look up at him. Jason moves his head from hers as Sam tilts her up just enough to get a look at him. His brows are tugged together, his forehead creasing with lines of worry. So many days and nights were spent like this but it was always Sam wearing the look of worry for him, not the other way around. This is normally when he'd give her a half-cocked grin and he'd kiss her, offering a false sense of reassurance when he would not be sleeping any better that same night. Sam doesn't have the same option though so she dodges his eyes and tilts her head back down.

"I know." She says quietly. "So do you."

Jason lets out a breath, resting his head back on hers. "I know."

The room falls silent with Jason's words. There's something stiff and hollowed in the air surrounding them. Every unsaid word lingers like smog but neither of them can bring themselves to do anything about it. Instead, Jason's fingers trace along her shoulder and Sam's thumb runs along his side. They let the weight of the silence swallow them whole, running through all of the guilt and shame that's led them here.

It's comforting, being here like this like it should be. But, so much has happened that both of them think they've set themselves up for failure. With each other. Sam broke his trust and Jason is already one of the least trusting people she's ever met. Even if he finds it in himself to forgive her, she isn't so sure she can forgive herself for it. And Jason's thinking of everything he could have done differently and how he'd love to lay like this forever with her, as if nothing happened but he can't. He could have killed her and he left her. She begged him to stay and he left. He betrayed her and he swears she should never forgive him for any of it, but if she does, he doesn't think he'll ever forgive himself for it. For any of this. So, the two of them sit in silence.