I see past your walls

Part 48

Dear Diery I thought it would be a good idea to start writing a journal or something. I found this app on my phone and thought it would work. I mean, I'm going through a lot of shit right now, and I can't talk with anyone about it. It sucks!My mom contacted me; I was shocked. I didn't believe she would contact me since she let me get kicked out. So I met her, she cried a lot repeatedly telling how sorry she was. She said she had been trying to talk with dad about letting me come home, but he wasn't changing his mind. He had also apparently told that any form of contact with me was forbidden. Doesn't it warm your heart when your dad forbids your family from seeing or talking with you? And if they do, they are punished for it. Like what the fuck!!!Anyway, mom gave me a suitcase with my favorite clothes, my laptop, makeup, and God bless her my morning and night routine toiletries! I had missed them soo! Like my skin took a turn for the worse because of the days I was without them.I can return the laptop I got from Keith now, or I just keep it. It's better than the one I already have. That mullet, I didn't think anyone would bother to help me that night...but that loner did. Come to think of it; he did say something about having seen someone else on that bridge; he did look scared. I wouldn't blame him; I wasn't going to jump; it never accrued to me that it might have seemed so from the outside.I really need to find a job and an apartment or something. I can't stay in this place forever. The problem is who would hire me?I did meet mullet today too, we went shopping, and I got my account set up as well as all the legal papers I would need. I even met that lawyer Keith talked about. He was very understanding of my situation and wanted to help me in the best way he could. His first suggestion was to put me up for adoption or something or get me into foster care. I said no like hell, no... No way! I insisted that I would try on my own. Well, not alone I have Keith, I did give them a stupid reason like I didn't want new parents or family or get transferred from my home town. But the real reason is that it wouldn't be possible to hide the fact that I was an omega, and it scares me. I wouldn't have any control over what place I would get sent to. I searched around for males omegas, and the things I saw gave me nightmares like shit was terrible.So I rather live on my own, try my best, and survive the way I know-how. On the topic of omegas, why does it hurt so much to awaken as one? It feels like my stomach is I don't now dying? It hurts like all the time; I wake up in the middle of the night covered in sweat, the pain is driving me insane. So I decided that I will check out that omega place that doctor Peppar referred me too. Hopefully, they can give me answers better than the internet; I also have to prepare myself for my first hear and get the things I need...so annoying. I at least decided I will shower with scent blocker shampoo and take the weaker, not dangerous pills, they should be like p pills for normal beta girls but help with the pheromones of an omega.Neither Pidge nor Hunk has returned any of my calls or SMS. I guess they can't; Matt seemed serous with the whole don't hang out with my sister talk. Hunk's mom had the same attitude...So I've been thinking of asking Keith to give them a letter from me. As I saw that Pidge had been punished on Twitter, I guess her phone has been taken Hunk probably have the same punishment or maybe something else.. Haven't seen anything regarding him.That's all for today, I guess... Don't know if I will write again. It was rather calming, but who knows.