[LARONA]
‘I can’t believe you won’t let me plan your wedding’ Kago complains. I am trying to have my lunch in peace and she wants to start squabbles. We only have the same taste in clothing. We like completely different things in terms of everything else. And besides, I already have my eye on a particular planner. What’s left is to contact her and check her availability. B Mashilo Designs have already confirmed that they can slot me in and I am excited. Anyone who has seen that woman’s work and claims not to have been blown away practices daylight witchcraft. She’s a real dynamite in the dress-making field. A stunner, a stopper, a server!
‘Are you not going to answer me?’
I really don’t want to hurt her feelings. I put my fork down. This chicken salad is not going down anyway. I decided to change the dressing and try something new. Talk about shooting myself in the foot.
‘Couzzy, I don’t know how to put this but I’m just going to be frank. I want a professional for this’
She gasps. I could tell drama was coming because that’s her middle name.
‘You think I can’t pull it off? You want a stranger for this when I’m right here? Me, the girl who knows you better than she knows herself? I can’t believe you right now’ she gets up to go put her bowl in the sink. I sigh. This is my wedding, not a kiddies party. In as much as I love her, I can’t give her this. I am terribly sorry. She connects her phone to the speakers. I wonder what is happening now.
‘Imagine this as your wedding song? Saka!’ she starts dancing and I laugh. See what I’m talking about? This is not the kind of music I’d ever dance to.
‘What’s the name of the song?’ I ask.
‘O jola lemang?’ she responds while still getting down. Is that supposed to be my dance routine? Those complicated steps including voshos? God, please no. I am just glad she’s back to her crazy self.
‘I am not doing that. Thank you, but no thanks’ I politely turn her down while sipping on my guava juice. She doesn’t care about me at this point. She’s dancing her entire life away.
‘You’re against me. Next thing you’ll be telling me that I’m no longer the maid of honour’
‘Never that’
‘Okay then. Let’s train that waist. Do you know how heavy a xibelani is?’
She starts playing another song. I know this one. Vamaseve va le xisasi. She comes to pull me off my chair and shows me how I’m supposed to move, then gets annoyed at my first attempt.
‘Don’t just move your shoulders, Lala! The trick is in the waist. Look at what I’m doing’
She continues to move like a true Tsonga woman and I laugh out loud.
‘Where do you even learn this?’
‘I almost got married by a man from Giyani, remember?’
I’m not sure about “married” but sure. I try again and she rolls her eyes.
‘My sista, you are not in a Kulenyane audition please. I said WAIST. WAIST. WAIST!!!’
‘Okay but don’t yell at me’
‘Hayisuka. Maybe you’ll dance better to Mhana Vafana’ she says while switching to it. ‘I don’t want to see myself outdoing you on your wedding day. You better get this right. XamaCombo weehh!!’
Kago is not a good teacher, and she’s causing a ruckus here. I see that my phone is ringing from the table. She pauses the music and I answer.
‘Hey baby’
‘I’m at the door’ he says and laughs. He probably heard the music. I go unlock for him. He greets me with a kiss while walking in. He looks a down and tired.
‘Hi Kago’
‘Hey bro’ she greets back. ‘Let me excuse you two’
‘No, please stay. I want to see what you two were up to in here’
We both laugh.
‘You want to see your wife trying to dislocate her joints?’
He grabs a chair and puts his phone and keys on the kitchen counter. Kago starts the music again. Now I’m shy!
Kago starts and I follow. Kurhula throws his head back and laughs. You see now? I go back to my juice. He stands up and squeezes my upper arms.
‘Maybe it’s this skirt, my love. You’ll do better in the appropriate attire’
‘You’re making fun of me. I want to see you dance’
‘You’re doubtful that I can perfect makhwaya? A whole Shangaan prince? The disrespect’
I laugh out loud. I’m only noticing now that Kago has disappeared.
‘I came to say my goodbyes. I’m catching a flight to CPT in a few’
‘You’re leaving? And the cake tasting?’
‘Let’s do that at another time. Please baby, I need to go speak to Kuli in person’
I’m disappointed, I won’t lie. Him mentioning Kuli has just reminded me of the dream. I tell him about it and he frowns in concern. He sits back down.
You’re saying AK hit his girlfriend in the dream?’
I nod.
‘Fvck…’ he sighs out loud. ‘Okay! Thank you for letting me know’ he gets back and sucks my lips – tightly grabbing my bxtt.
‘Naku rhandza, okay? Don’t be afraid to call me if you need anything’
I nod and he kisses my forehead before attempting to leave. I pull him back.
‘Are you okay, love?’
He drops his face and shortly brings it back up.
‘We’ll talk about it when I come back’ he kisses the back of my hand and asks to leave because he’s late. I allow him but he leaves me with a heavy heart. He’s sad, man. He’s trying so hard to keep it concealed but eyes never lie.
