[KULANI]
It’s 2am and Vutlhari is stressing me out. He has been crabby since half past eleven last night, Kurhula has been trying to get him to calm down. All that effort has been in vain. Mabontle and Mhan’ Maria have tried to negotiate with him, but he won’t hear it. Junior is singing, dancing, and making funny faces but that also is not working. I’ve given him his fever medication and applied Mhan’ Singi’s trusted cure on his fontanelle but I still cannot figure out what is wrong with him. How I wish she was here, she left in the afternoon to her home village and I already miss her dearly. Luckily AK is sleeping. He would be cooking us with questions that I do not have the patience to answer right now. He never understands when his little brother is upset. I end up telling everyone to give me my baby so I can try to quieten him because this choleric cry is scaring me.
‘That’s it. Give him to me’ Kurhula says when I start crying with Tlhari. He grabs his blankie from the rocking chair and wraps him.
‘Where are you going?’ I ask and he just tells me to ‘come’. He asks me to go fetch some King Kong from the kitchen. Do we even have sorghum in this house? I hope we do. I thankfully find an almost empty packet. It’s surely from the last time we had a ceremony for Vutlhari. I hand it to him, follow him out and his steps take us to the kraal. We get there and he kneels then carefully places Vutlhari on the ground. He takes some grains and chews on them before spitting them in different directions. The cows are just calmly watching.
‘Ndawini Vamlambya, Vamasiya govile. I am calling upon you great grandfather Gezani and Great Grandmother Makambeko. I am also calling you Great grandfather Mavengana. I am calling upon all of you, including you Grandfather Fikani, my mother’s father. I am asking that you also summon everyone else I cannot mention because there are many of you’
Vutlhari is still crying. His father chews on more grains and does the same thing he did at first.
‘Here’s your grandchild…’
I let out a loud burp.
‘Vutlhari Kurhula Ngobeni. A young wildcat. I am asking that you release him from whatever is bothering him if it’s coming from you, then communicate what you’d like us to do so it all stops. If it’s foreign spirits, I trust your whiplash and the fire you never hesitate to spit. He’s young, he is relying on his ancestors and guides to protect him. You’ve never let me down. You surely will not start with him. Please protect my blood, shield him’
This man always claims that he has won with me, but I think it’s the other way round. I cannot imagine having to raise this boy without his father. I would lose my mind. He is managing with soothing him. His cries are now low although filled with hiccups. My poor baby.
‘Kurhula?’ he calls him. ‘Unsizwa wena. Awudavuki wanitwa? You do not tear. Hi tshembe nkanu hina. We are stubborn beings my boy. Know this about yourself. You don’t get shaken, you remain unfazed. Through sickness, through difficulties and whatever else this life might throw at you. Cry, it is part of growth. But don’t overdo it to the point of a fever and headaches. Your head is hot my boy. Don’t do this to me’
He stands but doesn’t pick him up. The bright lights in the yard are aiding a lot because I wouldn’t be able to see anything here. Kurhula holds my hand and asks that we leave.
‘You want to leave him here?’
He nods. ‘We’ll be just outside the kraal. It won’t be for long’
‘With the cows?’
He nods again. I swallow.
‘Trust me!’
The only thing convincing me to agree right now is the fact that Kurhula wouldn’t allow anything to happen to his son. He probably knows what he’s doing. We step out and he closes the gate. He hugs me from behind and we just watch Vutlhari lying there on the ground, amongst the cows. There’s something about the reflections in their eyes as they sit around their habitat – unbothered. Aren’t they supposed to be asleep? One of the humped ones gets up and I feel fear course through my body. Kurhula holds me tight. This animal is walking towards my baby and Kurhula’s hug is restraining me. It gets to Tlhari. What is it doing? It looks like it’s sniffing him.
‘Kurhula…’
He mustn’t make me mad. It then licks him, and I look away. When I bring my eyes back, it licks him again. He lets me go and walks into the kraal. He brushes the cow a couple of times on the back before picking Vutlhari up. He’s silent now, no longer crying his lungs out.
‘Don’t ever do this again’ I say to his father.
My heart is still beating somewhere alongside my brain. This wasn’t a pleasant experience. Kurhula laughs.
‘Nothing bad is ever going to happen to my kids when brought here’
‘You can’t be sure. What if one of these cows is mad?’
‘If something horrible had happened, you would’ve explained to me why you allowed a bhari to contaminate my territory. I promise you I wouldn’t have understood a fvcking word’
‘Mciim’
I am still upset. There’s about thirty something cows in there and he left my baby at their mercy. I know the great ancestral symbol they carry but this is never happening again. He hugs me with one hand. The other has his son in it.
‘I’m sorry but desperate times call for drastic measures’
I try giving Tlhari his bottle again when we get to the house, and he doesn’t fight me. He drinks his milk and falls asleep while at it. Everyone went back to sleep when they were sure that he’s now fine. After putting him down in his cot, I also tried to get some rest but failed. Something is wrong; I can’t quite put my finger on it because the level of stress I am under is enough to refine a large diamond. Kurhula has an early morning at the office, so I am not going to bother him with hunches.
I have no idea when I actually managed to sleep but I am woken up by a call from Larona. It’s five o’clock now.
‘Morning’ I answer. I have a bad feeling about this call.
‘Hey. O sharp?’
‘Not really but I’ll be fine. What’s going on?’
‘I had a terrible dream. Where’s Kurhula? His phone is off’
I turn to his side even though I can hear the water running in the shower.
‘He’s in the bathroom. You’re scaring me. What was happening in the dream?’
‘There was a lot going on but the most important part is the car accident. I dreamt he was involved in a fatal car accident on his way to work’
I feel a cold breeze travel down my throat and into my intestines.
‘That dream was scary. The car was beyond recognition and I just—’
‘Okay. Calm down and tell me any other little details you remember about that dream’
‘Uhm… I remember that he was on the phone with a friend while driving. I wasn’t there with him but I could see everything like I was watching from another dimension. I don’t know. You know how dreams are’
There’s a voice reverberating in my head, telling me to check the car. I heard this last night, but Vutlhari needed my attention more. I also couldn’t quite fully understand it because there was no context.
‘Yeah?’
‘And he was dressed casually but at some point, he mentioned going to court; which was the odd part. He isn’t going there today. I don’t know what his full day is looking like but I know for a fact he is not going to court today so I don’t know’
‘Which car was he driving?’
‘The Merc’
‘Okay. I’ll call you back’
I cut the call and get out of bed. I grab my gown and tie it while on my way out. I already took the keys. I open the car and get inside. Yoh, my shoulders…
This car reeks of death. Nothing but unpleasant, heavy energy. I step out and inspect the tyres. They have easy-to-miss streaks of white powder; all four of them.
What is going on here? I need to relax so I can connect better. The message I am receiving is that the corners of this yard need to be strengthen anew. The person who had done the job is now using his things against us. I really don’t want to fight Magezi because I know that someone is going to die between him and I, if I take him on. I sigh and go back into the house. I find Kurhula already dressed in a black golfer t-shirt, charcoal black jeans, and black sneakers. I guess this accident is pending and waiting for him this very morning.
‘Are you okay, baby?’ he asks while clipping his platinum watch onto his wrist. I walk towards him and wrap my arms around his neck. He puts his hands on my bxms and brushes them.
‘Please don’t go anywhere today’
‘Why are you crying?’ he asks. ‘I have to go. Vutlhari is fine now, I promise you. But I do have to go because I need to discuss something with Maila then go to Benzy’s because his uncle passed on last night’
I want to suggest that he takes the other car but I just cannot risk it.
‘Your life is in danger, baby. A lot of people want you dead and they will stop at nothing to achieve that. You can always deliver your condolences tomorrow’
‘Death has been chasing me since I was a little boy. I won’t stay here if you don’t tell me what exactly is going on’
I won’t tell him about Magezi because he might storm out of here with a gun in hand.
‘A car accident is waiting for you. Larona called not so long ago, telling me that she dreamt of it. I went to the car and confirmed it’
Worry wrinkles his face.
‘Do you know who is responsible for it?’
I shake my head.
‘Okay. Let me call Advocate Maila then, we’ll just have our meeting online. I’ll see Benzy later’
His finger brings my face up and he pecks my lips. He grabs his phone and laptop from his pedestal.
‘Promise me you won’t leave’ I ask of him before he can walk out. He comes back and hugs my head, then kisses my temple with the corner of his mouth.
‘Stop crying baby. I am not dying’
‘I am just so tired’
I am not lying. My emotions are all over the place.
‘But I have to have this meeting now. It’s regarding a court case she’ll be working on today and I think she’s already at the office’
I nod and let him go.
‘Give me thirty minutes, max’
He pecks my lips again and leaves the room. I exhale and sit down on the rug. I am spiritually exhausted.
