[KULANI]
I needed to apologize and give my sister a heads up so I asked to be dropped off at home. Plus I didn’t want to be in that big bed by myself – not today. I found her still bathing when I arrived so I had to wait. Now we’re sitting on her bed together and it’s a bit awkward.
‘Are you okay?’ she asks. I can tell what she’s referring to, by the look in her eyes.
‘I’ll be fine. It’s only one weekend’
‘Why are you pretending like this doesn’t hurt? Your man is literally getting married to someone else’
I did not come here for this. I thought we were past this stage; the stage of her inserting herself in my marriage. If she cannot be supportive then she must keep her opinions to herself, but I still want us to fix this.
‘Pretending?’
‘Yeah’
‘What do you want me to do? Go around screaming that Kurhula is getting married and seek help as if I’m getting robbed?’
Her silent reaction makes me realize that my response was harsh.
‘I’m not antagonizing you, sis. I just want you to know that I’m willing to listen if you need to vent. I’m also acclimatizing myself to Larona and my apology to her was genuine’ she says. ‘And me asking you this is not me trying to rub salt on your wound. I just want you to know that… well… I understand. My own husband is moving weird and I’m sitting here missing him terribly so I am the last person to judge’
‘I was talking with Aunty Basani on the phone. What happened to her plan of bringing you back?’
‘I respectfully refused until she gave up. She can’t exactly drag me out of here’
‘And?’
‘She just told me that I shouldn’t come to her crying when I get back to my senses and find him married to someone else’
Speaking of her husband…
‘I also need to apologize for helping him keep Nqobile a secret. You know that—‘
‘You cannot divulge any information about him, everything is confidential. I know. I was just furious and my anger was misdirected when I declined your calls’
‘Do you still want to go back to him?’
‘I don’t know, Kuli. My priority right now is this child inside of me. I’ll attend to the father after giving birth’ she rubs her tummy over her night gown. She doesn’t need stress, now I’m no longer sure whether to tell her or not. If I don’t, this might break our relationship forever.
‘They’re planning on getting him a new wife’
She quickly turns towards me.
‘What?’
I nod. The hurt is growing in her eyes.
‘He wants to marry her?’
‘No. Some girl from Limpopo. She’s royalty and no, I don’t think she and Fikani have met yet’
‘And what is he saying about all that?’
‘He’s not having it but he’s going to lose the upper hand if you don’t come back soon. It’s widely believed that a royal house without a queen is left exposed. Don’t ask me what that means’
She’s rendered speechless.
‘I guess I’ll never live down that vase incident. I bet it serves as a motive for this. Like, what on earth was I thinking?’
‘You know very well what was happening at that time. Fikani’s karma wanted him dead and you were the perfect tool for that. Stop beating yourself up over it’
My words are not sinking in.
‘Bontle, you wouldn’t be the chosen one if that was your true character. If there’s anyone you should trust when they say this, it’s me. You and him were made for each other. There’s a reason why you had similar childhoods; why you had to grow far from home. I have conversations with these people, remember?’
She fails to fight the smile on her face.
‘Yoh, I love him so much but he hurts me so bad! Seeing him with another woman would break my heart, especially one the elders approve of but at the same time, I hate how he takes me for granted’
‘I am not here to convince you to do anything because I also don’t approve of the things he does. I just came to let you know what’s happening in that house’
Her hand goes back on her belly. She’s clearly deep in thought.
‘You know what? If Fikani wants to play this game, then I’m gonna show him that I am a worthy opponent’
I can’t help but frown. What does she mean by that and why don’t I like her tone of voice?
‘Opponent? In marriage?’ I ask.
She laughs. ‘Relax. I am not going to do anything drastic. I’m gonna go back, to remind him that if he wants to tango, I am game’
‘Bontle, you cannot cheat with that baby in your stomach. He’ll get sick!’
‘Let’s stop talking about Fikani. I found your childhood photos in the cellar’
She’s changing the topic now?
‘Can I ask you a question?’
I nod.
‘How was it growing up with dad in your life as a child? Growing up in a royal, privileged environment?’
I clear my throat. I feel like the answers to these questions are going to hurt her feelings since she did not have what I did.
‘Please be honest’
‘It was… safe’
‘Come on?’ she almost rolls her eyes.
‘Okay, fine. I mean it; it was safe. He was a very active dad. Requested meetings with my teachers to be updated on my progress and stuff. When other kids picked on me, I knew that I could always run to him. If mom said no to a thing I wanted, I’d get it from him. I remember asking her for a Casio watch and she said I was too young to have it. I think I was in Grade 3. I told him and he came home with it the next day’ she smiles as I explain.
‘I think that’s when I began realizing that I’m a spoilt brat’
‘What other incidents made you see that you live a privileged life?’
There’s a prominent one I’ll never forget.
‘Dad puts the children of the employees here home through school, right? So I went to Junior School with one of them and we just clicked. She made sure we become friends because I was shy and she was talkative. I remember how she used to always compliment my clothes, my stationery and the fact that I had a notebook. I think it was Lenovo, those small ones the size of tablets. There’s this other white Adidas set of mine with pink stripes that she really liked. I remember coming home one day to ask my mom if I can borrow it to her because our school had something called Casual Wear Friday where we’d pay R10 in exchange for a sticker to put on our home clothes. My mom was livid and that’s how her mom lost her job. They moved away’
‘No….’
‘Yeah. It still breaks my heart when I think about it’
‘But you didn’t know better. You were a child’
‘I guess. She finished the year at school though but I no longer used to find her waiting outside of my classroom when I came out. I then went back to being a Lonely Lilly that walks around and eats by herself’
I start thinking back. I really had an isolated childhood full of overthinking and internal monologues. There was no way depression wasn’t going to capture me at some point.
‘When last did you see her?’
‘I saw her at the wedding. And she was recently hired by Kurhula and his group. Small world. Her name is Andy’
‘Did you talk?’
‘Not really but we’re cool. But I don’t think that friendship could ever be rekindled, it would be weird’
‘I hear you. One last memory please’
A light chuckle leaves me.
‘I had a lamb for a pet’ I say and she laughs out loud.
‘Are you serious?’
I nod. I am serious.
‘Her name was Minix. Don’t ask me how I came up with that name but, yeah. She was mine’
‘You sound like you had a cute childhood. Thanks for sharing’
‘I guess. You’re welcome’
I miss that animal. I was told she went missing but now that I’m carefully thinking about it, Minix was properly slaughtered for supper and I most probably enjoyed that meal, in absolute oblivion.
…
