DINNER & DIATRIBES. . . JACKSON AVERY!

chapter fourteen: how insensitive & happy shiny people

"Uh, reaction, observation, communication–any questions so far?" Dr. Bailey asks the group of residents she has inside a learning lab. Almost every hand in the room shoots up, all with the same question, and Dr. Bailey sighs before anyone can ask.

"We are doing this because Chief Shepherd suggests we brush up on our patient sensitivity skills." Dr. Bailey tells them. Briar can't argue against that: honestly, her class of residents could all use a reminder. "Dr. Sinclair, am I boring you?"

Briar's eyes widen, looking up from where she's been boredly examining a model uterus.

"You never bore me, Dr. Bailey. You fascinate me." She says with a smirk, watching her attending roll her eyes at her. She does set down the model, not wanting to die on that hill.

"It just so happens, this morning was a very good time to review this. Besides, half of you were raised by wolves." Dr. Bailey turns to the whiteboard behind her, and starts writing as she talks. "Reaction. Keep your face impassive, whether prompted by a patient's appearance or lab results, facial expressions of surprise, concern, disgust, etcetera can be counterproductive."

Briar's hand shoots in the air, making Dr. Bailey sigh as she nods for her to speak.

"Okay, but patient's don't like it when we're impassive. It scares them."

"Then smile, Dr. Sinclair. I know your name means thorny bush, and you certainly love acting like one, but I am sure you know how to smile." Dr. Bailey's dry comment makes everyone, including Briar, laugh. Briar isn't done, though.

"Okay, but, what if you're like Alex and your fake smile makes you look psychopathic?" Briar points out, smirking when Alex protests while everyone laughs. She mimics his fake smile, pretending to be him speaking to a patient. "Like: I'm so sorry, Mrs. Smith, your condition is terminal. She would cry, and not out of shock of her death sentence, but because I am wearing my Scary Alex Smile."

"That is not a thing!" Alex cries out, but shuts up when Briar, Cristina and Meredith all turn to look at him.

"It's a thing."

"That brings me to my next point." Dr. Bailey says over everyone's laughter, although Briar catches her lips twitching. "Jokes. Don't make jokes about patients, not in front of them, not even in private."

"Well. . ." Cristina starts to protest, making Dr. Bailey turn to her.

"Yang?"

"What if the joke is really funny?"

"It's not. Neither was that one. Moving on. Observation." She says, grimacing when her pager beeps, before rushing through the rest. "Okay. Use reflective listening, repeat the patient's feelings back to them. Um, 'I hear that you're concerned about the surgery. Let me explain the risks."

"I can see you like vegetables," Alex says in a deeper voice, "After surgery, you might become one."

Their group laughs, Briar continuing even when Dr. Bailey turns to them with annoyance. She reaches past Meredith to give Alex a high five, always a fan of his witty comments.

"Communication." Dr. Bailey says, not reprimanding Alex for his comment. "Uh, don't use jargon. Use language that the patient can understand. Be creative in using metaphors."

"Oh, I'm terrible with metaphors." Percy complains. "I can never come up with 'em."

"Why? 'Cause you're dumb as a box of hammers?" Cristina asks, making Briar frown while others laugh.

"That was a simile." Briar points out, shrugging at the dirty look Cristina gives her. "What? It was."

"Be clear and comprehensive," Dr. Bailey pushes on, rushing through reading the paper in front of her. "Explain all risks and all possible outcomes, leaving nothing out. Questions–Adamson?"