DINNER & DIATRIBES. . . JACKSON AVERY!

chapter thirty-eight: if/when

If there's one regret Briar has, it's that she chose Seattle Grace Hospital as her pick for her surgical residency.

She's in her fifth year at the hospital, and she hates every day of it. Her fellow residents are so annoying, and all anyone at this hospital does is kiss Ellis Grey's ass. If they're not accommodating Ellis, they're running around after Richard and Meredith Webber–her husband and daughter–and Briar can't stand watching it. It's embarrassing, honestly.

That's what April Kepner is currently doing, fawning over Meredith's new engagement to Alex Karev while Briar rushes to get dressed as quickly as possible. The screaming is giving her a headache.

"Oh my god!" Kepner squeals, examining the new ring on Meredith's finger. "When?"

"Last night!" Meredith tells her, beaming. "I mean, I kind of thought he would, and then, sure enough. Are you okay, April? 'Cause I know, I mean, I knew this was gonna be hard for you, but–you are going to find someone, April. And Charles is really into you."

Briar rolls her eyes, pulling her stethoscope around her neck. That relationship sounds like even more of a nightmare than Meredith and Alex and that's saying something.

"Ugh! I know, I know, but Charles is–" Kepner starts, getting interrupted by Percy walking through the doors.

"Hi." He chuckles. "Hi, April. Charles is what?" He asks, proving that he caught at least the last part of them talking about him.

"Nothing." Kepner says, turning back to Meredith. "No, no, no. I am thrilled! Have you told anyone else?"

Why can't Briar find her goddamn ID badge? Seriously, what did she do in a past life to deserve listening to this conversation?

"Besides my parents, no. You're my person!" Meredith tells April, who smiles even wider at the words.

"Oh, god, this is so beautiful." Kepner gushes. Briar gives up and tips her bag upside down, watching the contents fall to the floor before squatting down to try and find the badge easier. "You guys, you're gonna be like, the next Shepherd's."

"Screw that. We're gonna be the next Webber's!"

"You good?" Avery asks from above her, sounding amused. "If you need an extra penlight or something, I've got them in my locker."

"Do you have my ID badge in your locker? No? Then you can't help me." Briar tells him flatly, groaning when she still can't find the thing. She can't have lost it–she lost one last month.

"Maybe try retracing your steps." Avery suggests, sounding as amused as ever. It doesn't matter how much attitude she gives him, he always thinks it's hilarious. "That helps when I've lost something."

"What do you think I'm doing?" Briar shoots back, rolling her eyes as she scoops everything back into her bag, shoving it in the locker. She always puts it back in her bag at the end of a shift–sure, she'd left work without changing yesterday, in a rush to–oh.

Briar is never telling Avery that he helped her.

Ignoring Meredith, now describing whatever boring proposal Alex gave her, Briar whips out her phone and frantically texts the last texted person.

Hey I know you're awake

Is my ID badge in my room at all

Well hello to you too

I can look hold on

Where's your coffee?

I don't have any

What is WRONG with you?????

I will buy you the largest, most expensive coffee ever if you find my badge and bring it to the hospital right now