Cowboy Like Me - (Finnick Odair)

Love Is A Ruthless Game

Why did I promise him?

They had been on the train for about thirty minutes, moving past districts at an impressive speed on their way to the Capitol, and still this was all Jolene could think of. What was I thinking? How could I promise him that? What is wrong with me? Staring at the ring Butch must have slipped on her finger while she was too nervous to notice, Jolene could only see it as a symbol of all the regret she was feeling.

She didn't even know if she wanted to marry Butch. Well, she supposed she did. After all, she did love him, but marriage had never once crossed her mind. She was happy with the way they were right now, she didn't yearn for any change, let alone a big one like that. She felt so young to be a bride yet, even more to be someone's wife. Why Butch was so obsessed with the idea, she couldn't understand. How would a marriage between them even work? How were marriages supposed to work? The only example she ever had of one was Polly and Tobias. They were happy together, they made each other happy and they had also been a couple from a young age, but did that mean that it would be like that for Jolene and Butch as well? Was there any guarantee that a marriage would be good for them as it was for Polly and Tobias? Of course not.

The circumstances for the older couple were completely different and much more favorable. It was a different time, simpler, when it was more common for people to get married in their early twenties. They were the same age and from the same place, had known each other forever and wanted the same things. They hadn't decided to do it in a haste, spurred on by the imminent death of one of them. Most importantly, they had their parents' blessings.

How could Jolene have committed to such an important compromise when her mother didn't even know she was in a relationship? How could she possibly win the Hunger Games, come back and tell her mother that she was engaged to a peacekeeper? How could she win the Hunger Games, come back and tell Butch that she actually couldn't marry him, after all? Maybe she just shouldn't try to win the Hunger Games at all, it's not like she had big odds of doing it anyway, and just let death take her away from the consequences of her badly thought actions. At least like that it wouldn't be her mother or Butch who'd end up hurt, just herself - and briefly, at that, because it would only hurt until her heart stopped beating.

The gentle slide of the automatic door puts a stop to her self deprecating thoughts. Jolene kept her head down, still too frustrated by everything that happened in the last thirty minutes to care about whoever also ventured all the way to the last carriage of the train. She was surprised to find Colt Winslow's large figure throwing itself next to her on the couch, a tired groan leaving his lips. Colt Winslow was one of the four victors from distric 10, all of which were males, three of which were still alive. Between these three, two had produced victors. Colt Winslow, this year's mentor, wasn't one of them.

- Macaroons? - He offered her a pink little box filled with the neatly lined up pastries, each of them artificially painted in a different color.

Jolene just shook her head negatively. She wasn't in the mood to eat anything right now.

- Yeah, good call. This shit's too sweet, if you ask me. - He said, dropping the box in the coffee table in front of the couch and picking one of the sweets for himself, instantly tossing it inside his mouth and reclining back against the cushions as he chewed loudly.

Jolene kept staring at him, trying to understand what brought him here in the first place. Sure, mentors were supposed to start preparing their tributes for the games as soon as they met, before even arriving at the Capitol. When it came to the Hunger Games, there was no time to lose, ever. However, she didn't think that Colt would care that much whether she lived or died to come after her when she clearly made a point of isolating herself on that train.