My Savior

Chapter 18

I'm scared that I have these feelings because he saved me. He brought me home and gave me a second chance. I think that's where the feelings are coming from, and I don't know how to make them stop.

"Do you want them to stop?" Ikari asked, folding his hands over his right knee.

Bakugo thought about it for a moment before shrugging and grabbing the notebook from the table between them.

A part of me wants to run away and hide from everyone again. But there's another part of me that wants to explore those feelings. But like I said, I don't know if my feelings right now are because he saved me or because I might actually like him.

Ikari read his note over a few times before responding. "Put aside the fact that he saved you for a moment. What do you like about him? What does he do specifically that makes those feelings grow?" Bakugo wished he had to think about it, but he didn't.

He's thoughtful and kind. He's one of the most selfless people I have ever met. The way he just brought Alya and her sisters home without a second thought was one of the kindest things he could have ever done. He doesn't have a mean bone in his body.

"Before everything happened and you spiraled, how would you have felt about him doing that?"

I don't know if he would have done that. I mean, if someone pointed out how bad the problem was and he met them without me being involved, I think he would have. But he didn't know. If he brought them back before I spiraled, I would have rolled my eyes at him for going over the top and showing off. But now, I realize he wasn't doing it for show or anything like that. He genuinely had a lot of love in his heart, and he cared for everyone.

I think if I knew what I know about him now, even before I spiraled, I would have been in awe and admired him.

"Let me ask you something else," Ikari said while sliding the notebook back to Bakugo. "If you could put yourself back in time to before the bombing, and you were still riding the high of being a new hero, would you be able to fit Midoriya into that life as he is now?"

Without hesitation, Bakugo nodded. If he were living his dream again, he could still imagine doing precisely what he's doing. He would still want to come home to Midoriya every day. It was a thought he had never imagined would be in his head. But now, he wasn't sure if it was one that he could live without.

Can we change the topic? We can pick this conversation up next time. I want to think on it a little more.

"Okay, but you might not like the next step you're going to take," Ikari warned while grabbing the large duffle bag he had brought in with him. Bakugo gave him a puzzling look, but he didn't say anything, as usual. "Open it," he said while setting the bag on the table between them.

Bakugo looked between the bag and his therapist for a solid two minutes before he dared to open the bag. When he did, he felt the bile try to make its way up his throat when he saw the familiar black and orange fabric. He pushed the bag away like it had a disease before his breathing increased, and he felt his throat close.

"Hey, take a deep breath. Remember the breathing exercises we've been practicing." Ikari pushed himself from his seat and walked around the table. He went to move the bag away, but he decided against it. Therapy was messy, and it was going to hurt. He didn't want to keep anything triggering away from Bakugo forever. He said he wanted his life back, and he was going to get it one way or another.

Bakugo watched the clock ticking on the wall, taking deep breaths every couple of seconds until he had calmed down enough that Ikari felt comfortable with going back to his seat. And then, Bakugo's focus went back to the bag between them.