𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐓𝐇𝐘 || 𝐊.𝐓𝐇

𝟐𝟎 𖥸 𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐍

⊱ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ • 𖥸 • ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ⊰

"The worst part was when it hit that my family was dead. When the police came, they took me to the hospital for injuries, but they didn't believe me when I told them what I witnessed. They tried to say my mind was trying to cope with my family's death by imagining a false memory, but I know what I saw."

He leans back into the seat, resting his eyes. "I've gone all these years hiding that from everyone, and it feels nice now that I've finally told someone again." It's heartbreaking. Jin's tragic, childhood memory shaped him into the man he is today. If not for that ever happening, he could've lived a whole different life.

He would be focusing on his career now, possibly in a relationship, and being the big brother who always looks out for the younger sister. He would've looked out for all his family, too, or else he wouldn't still be going along with this path. The one part that hasn't changed about Jin, regardless of his family still being alive or not, is his big heart.

"Here, take my seat," I open the car door, switching places with him. He doesn't need to drive. He needs to calm down for a little while.

I slide behind the wheel, while he takes a break in the passenger seat. I try not to think about what he just told me. At least not right this second because then I would become upset, and his emotions would stir up if he saw me get like that. The best for us is to distract ourselves in the meantime.

I turn the knob on the radio, turning some soft music on, so the car won't be in complete silence. The green, electric hue of the radio station reflects into my eyes.

Something inside me snaps. It bursts open like glass hitting pavement, but I'm between the two. There's no stopping the incident.

Staring down at the gas pedal, the vehicle starts going faster. I press harder on the gas until we're speeding down the empty, late-night road with a piercing, loud whistle of the engine on the black road.

"Mercy?" Jin calls, trying to gain my attention. "Slow down," I can't though. Despite not wanting to think about Jin's background, I can't help his story being brought back into my thoughts.

I need to feel something for both of us. After hearing that, I know he's similar to me. He's continuing to go down this dark path to figure out why his family had to die and to avenge them, while I'm trying to find myself... trying to find home. It's unfair.

My reckless behavior isn't new to either of us. Our emotions often affect many of our choices, and sometimes, we can't contain them.

Right now, it's not about my past, future, who I am, where I came from. It's about wanting to do one thing for myself without my mind steering me to focus on the main task. It's about Jin and me, taking a drive together to forget the pain. Even ignore the pain for a while. If we can, then we're going to do just that.

But before I can press any more on the gas pedal, Jin shakes me out of my trance, telling me to slow down. I ease on the gas, slowing down, and then everything becomes quiet once again. The soft music is turned so low it's deaf to me, but maybe it's my heart pounding that's causing my ears to hear the silence in the air instead.

Jin never once appeared worried that I was speeding, and I was the same because we thought the exact way. We aren't scared of death, but we're terrified of finding death around us. I've never lost a family, but I've mourned the loss of mine. Death is something we don't fear unless it can harm the ones we care about.

If I consider my life, it reminds me of drowning because it feels like that's all I've been doing my entire life, just drowning. I've been weighed down by life's troubles, and eventually, I slowly forgot how to breathe.