Stapy: Go to hell!
Maple: Oh! I’ve been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely.
Marker: Get in loser, we're going shopping.
Stapy: This is a McDonald's drive thru.
Sunny: Operation no more distractions is a go!
*not even 10 seconds later*
Sunny: Oh, look! A butterfly!
Liy: You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch.
Maple: What changed your mind?
Liy: Oh, now I know that you’re a fake bitch. Why do you ask?
Maple: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am.
Foldy: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!
*Liy is speaking on the phone*
Liy: Yeah, I'm with Foldy.
Foldy: I'm fucking dying-
Liy: Yep, she's okay.
Foldy: I have a pair of scissors in my chest!
Liy: No, she can't talk right now. She's sleeping, sorry.
Foldy: I'M BLEEDING OUT-
*The Squad using an Ouija board*
Sunny: Tell us… Is there a spirit in this house?
Spirit, through the board: YES.
Marker: Great! Rent is due on the first of the month.
Potato: Oh, and movie night is on Friday if you want to hang out.
Spirit: WAIT, WHAT?!
Stapy: You call yourself my soulmate, but where were you when my meme only had four likes?
Foldy: Making four accounts.
Stapy, tearing up: Really...?
Marker: Yum, thanks!
Kidnapper: *puts more tape over their mouth* I said stop eating it.
Maple: I feel like the world would be better if I'd never been born.
Marker: Aw... that's not true.
Marker: It'd be exactly the same.
Marker: You're not important.
Potato: Not to be NSFW, but I want someone to hold me while I sleep.
Marker, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Potato, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids.
Sunny: What the fuck are you guys doing?
Marker: Playing systemic oppression.
Sunny: Do you ever wonder why you're still single?
Maple, eating mayonnaise straight out of the jar with a spoon: Yeah... I mean, I'm perfect! Who wouldn't want to date me?
Sunny, sighing: I can name a few people...
Foldy, setting down a card: Ace of spades.
Potato, pulling out an Uno card: +4.
Stapy, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you!
Sunny, trembling: What are we playing?!
Stapy: Would you rather kill Maple, or—
Marker: Yes, kill her.
Foldy: He didn’t say the other thing—
Sunny: We don’t need to hear it.
Maple: …I’m feeling a little unsafe.
Potato: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!
Maple: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.
Potato: Stop.
Potato: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.
Marker: I am convinced Sunny and Potato share a brain cell.
Liy: And it's not in use very often, it seems.
Maple: Relationships should be 50/50. Potato cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty.
Maple: Hey, can I get a sip of that water?
Liy: It’s not water.
Maple: Vodka! I like your sty-
Liy: It’s vinegar.
Maple: …What?
Liy: It's vinegar, PUSSY.
YOU ARE READING
Future Free Food!
FanfictionWelcome to the life of the Future Free Food Friends! The seven of them will stick together until the end! Well, those seven would say that back in the day... And now only five of them are still here today. When they were all kids, they would run and...
