Goddess of MY Dreams | AESPA Winter x MALE READER

Chapter 4

Y/N stared at his phone screen, pulse deafening as those maddening animated dots continued taunting him. There was no way in hell Winter was actually messaging him again after he ghosted her for two weeks straight...right?

But sure enough, a brief text popped up: Got a minute?

Y/N gaped in stunned disbelief. This had to be someone pranking him! But the little verified icon next to Winter's name crushed that logic. Hands shaking badly, he managed to type back: For you I've got ten thousand minutes. What's up?

He cringed and quickly deleted the cheesy line. Play it cool! Just...please don't disappear this time? he sent instead, nerves jangling his bones.

The typing dots reappeared instantly. Y/N held his breath, dreading some variation of: I gave you a second chance and you blew it again. Have a nice life, creep!

But Winter's message took a far gentler tone: I know you're probably busy and I'm likely overthinking things...I just couldn't stop replaying our confusing DM fail over and over. I guess I just wanted closure on whether I did something wrong or if you simply weren't interested talking to me after all? No pressure to explain, I'll understand either way! Just let me know so I can stop driving myself crazy wondering...anyway, hope you're doing ok!

Y/N gripped the railing for support, shame crashing down anew. Even after his unforgivable silence she was blaming herself and worried about HIS wellbeing? This girl's kindness knew no bounds...

Fingers trembled violently over his keyboard. Where could he even begin explaining without sounding like some obsessed unstable stalker? Sorry I was too caught up unhealthily cyberstalking you on Instagram to reply for half a day? I swear I'm not crazy just ridiculously awkward around girls I really really like??

Y/N dragged a harsh hand down his face in utter mortification. This was his do-over chance to not completely sabotage everything. He HAD to try giving Winter some alternate explanation for ghosting that didn't immediately send her sprinting...

Blowing out a slow breath, he carefully typed: Oh god Winter I'm so sorry for disappearing on you like that! I could never NOT be interested talking to you, trust me. I swear there's a semi-logical explanation why I didn't reply right away. Just please please don't think you did anything wrong that night! You absolutely deserve the full truth...

He paused. Where to even begin unraveling his chaotic emotional state lately around her without landing himself on some Sasaeng fan watchlist? You got this, be cool! his inner voice yelled as he slowly continued...

The truth is I got overwhelmed by some stressful personal issues that night and badly needed to escape. I went to my regular dance studio to calm down and left my ringer silenced. By the time I finally checked my phone hours later and saw your messages, I felt absolutely crushed realizing how it seemed I'd ignored you.

I Conservatoire wanted to apologize instantly but I know I missed that window and you likely felt hurt. The more time passed the harder it got to explain why I disappeared without sounding completely lame or obsessed. I'm still so amazed you reached out again tonight despite me not deserving a second chance after such rudeness. I obviously handled things badly but please, please believe me Winter when I say talking to you means absolutely everything. You could never annoy me or be unwanted. If you're willing to just wipe the slate clean, I swear this awkward fool will make it all up to you!

Y/N chewed his ragged thumbnail watching the delivered receipts. Well it was all laid bare now, no taking back his essay of mortification. Now to anxiously await Winter's verdict on whether he deserved her forgiveness or earned a lifetime block...

In their dorm after another long schedule, Winter stared astonished at the novella Y/N finally spewed out. She could practically hear his sincerity and nerves dripping off the screen. Her insides performed strange flip flops reading his many apologies and reassurances.

So Y/N hadn't actually meant to disappear that painful night, but rather got overwhelmed escaping personal issues? That she could relate to, having shed her own hidden tears from time to time.

Winter gently touched his self-deprecating words, tension slowly releasing from her clenched shoulders. She hadn't been wrong about Y/N's good heart after all. And knowing her messages could affect him so deeply sent that now familiar spark shooting down her spine...

Biting her lip, Winter typed back: Y/N, thank you for explaining everything. I'm really sorry too that you were going through a hard time that night without me even knowing. I shouldn't have assumed the worst just because of some confusing signals...

We all have those days when real life gets too heavy and we crave an escape. So please don't feel bad about taking care of yourself! I'm just relieved to know you don't actually see me as some annoying stranger pestering your DMs lol. But I meant what I said about not pressuring you to talk either. I know how busy real life and training gets too. So only message me whenever you genuinely want to, no stress ok? Just promise we're good and you'll consider me a friend who's happy to listen about anything :)

She held her breath clicking Send. After weeks of painful silence she hoped her message conveyed grace while letting Y/N off the hook from any obligation towards her. She knew idols couldn't afford expectations from wishful fans despite yearning for deeper connection herself...

Y/N slowly released the chokehold grip on his phone as he finished Winter's kind response. Total undeserved forgiveness paired with understanding over his mental health struggles? Not to mention reaffirming their tentative friendship herself despite his flaking?

Who WAS this classy compassionate angel masquerading as a flawless celebrity? Her message thawed the remaining ice around Y/N's guarded heart. She saw him as far more than just another fan...Winter genuinely cared.

Gratitude and affection overwhelmed any lingering awkwardness. Y/N smiled slowly, the playful joking cadence of their first banter returning as he typed: Wow I don't deserve you at ALL after being such a failure at basic human communication...but I swear I'll make it up to you! Also excuse me while I ugly cry in the corner at you calling us friends so easily ffjdjsksk 😭

He grinned hitting Send, imagination suddenly running wild with future conversations ranging from silly to soul bearing. And Winter thought HE was the blessing to HER? This girl clearly existed on another celestial plane...

Curled on her bunk, Winter muffled her squeal into her pillow reading Y/N's equally dramatic reaction. So their special connection remained intact even through confusion and conflict! The giddy joy bubbling inside her chest felt akin to guzzling年 bubbles. She secretly saved Y/N's silly touched kaomoji to her phone before replying.

Over the next few days, remnants of shyness still tinged their dialog at times. But a keen undercurrent now thrummed just below the surface. Winter often gnawed her lip wrestling invisible desire into innocent reactions whenever Y/N messaged. Each time his name appeared, her stomach dropped like the sharp plunge on a rollercoaster before the next wild ascent into joy...

Y/N fought to keep his raging firestorm feelings concealed too, not wanting to torpedo this delicate new closeness with the goddess he still put on an impossible pedestal. But Winter's innate sweetness and genuity made restraint torture.

Soon they gravitated towards increasingly flirtatious banter and play arguments over favorite brands, movies and food. Each volley electrified the air with daring temptation to say more, reveal deeper, push further somehow. Yet the unique barrier of Winter's closely guarded idol life persisted, holding Y/N one cautious step back even as she drew him in.

Until one night when their usual spirited text debate suddenly swerved towards shatteringly intimate territory out of the blue...

It started innocently enough discussing favorite non-celebrity crushes over childhood. Y/N gushed jokingly about his embarrassingly strong first love for an older dance sunbae-nim during middle school training.

Winter surprised him admitting she barely remembered feeling sparks for any real boy back then, being so focused on perfection and the future.

When Y/N prodded her lightly if any male idol sunbaes ever caught young Winter's eye though, he nearly dropped his phone at her soft confession next...

You're actually the first guy I've felt this spellbound by in real life, Y/N...