Part LXV: Understanding

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Blake

Liam called before Blake had the chance to call him first.

"Hi," she said, unable to hold back the relief that flooded her voice, "Liam, I—"

"Blake, just give me a moment? I'll let you talk, but I need to say something first period I just need you to listen to it and not say anything until I'm done. Okay?"

Blakes swallowed, throat growing tight at the seriousness in his tone, but nodded, even though he couldn't see, "Okay. Go ahead."

She heard Liam's deep breath through the phone before he spoke.

"I was a dick the other night. I called you up because I wanted to talk with you about something, and I chickened out about it. I thought I was ready, but I was wrong. And... I'm still not ready. I accused you of holding back, but I'm the one that was doing that. And I'm sorry for that. I don't—"

Liam cut off, and the pain in his voice as he continued tugged at Blake's heart.

"It just hurts. A lot. I know that what you shared with me about your mom hurt a lot, too. And you're a stronger person than I am for doing that. I just need you to be patient with me on this, okay? You could ask some of my friends, and they would probably tell you, but I'd rather it came from me when I'm ready. And I'm sorry about the Cherry thing. I know that you're her as much as you are yourself, and it was really shitty for me to call you cherry just because you were deflecting by flirting with me. I know that it's hypocritical, considering what I just asked you, but I want you to feel like you can share things with me if they're weighing on you. I want to make sure we find a way to communicate better. I know that part of it is just being so far away from each other, and being busier than usual in a weird way, but I want to make sure that doing things like that doesn't put a strain on us going forward. And I think it will just make things better for us in—shit, sorry. I know I'm rambling. I'm just nervous because you haven't said anything, even though I asked you not to say anything. I—"

Blake almost laughed as Liam took a quick but deep breath, "Look, I just called to say that I'm sorry for holding things back with you, and that I accept and want all parts of you. Cherry, Blake, and anyone else you haven't told me about. That would be fun if they come with a cool hair color, too."

Blake laughed at that, smiling so hard her cheeks hurt.

"Can you forgive me for being a dick?"

"If you can forgive me for being an asshole. You were a dick, but a small one. I was a bigger asshole."

She could hear the smile on his lips as he spoke, "I miss you so much. I'm sorry I haven't really been fair about sharing things. That I still can't really be fair about it yet. I just—"

"I understand, Liam. If anyone understands, it's me."

"Thank you, Blake. You don't know how much that means to me."

"I might have some idea. And I miss you too. Way more than you miss me."

Blake took a deep breath after that as Liam laughed, and her expression sobered as she remembered what she'd wanted to say to him.

"Are you doing better?" he asked, before she could say anything, "With your nose, I mean. You haven't sneezed yet."

Blake did smile at that, "Cold meds, my grandma's soup, grandpa's bone broth, orange juice, superfood smoothies apparently are like a strike team if you put them all together to fight a cold. I think the only solid foods I've eaten since my grandma caught me sneezing have been the snacks, I've been able to sneak."

Liam laughed at that, and Blake almost lost her nerve. She took a deep breath though, and continued before he could say anything else.

"As for the other part of me being okay... I'm still not doing that well, but better. And I do want to talk to you about it. And not just because of what you said. I was actually about to call you right when you called me."

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