Oh, look at me impersonating someone I wasn't
Oh, look at them narrating a story based on a chain of gossip
Look at all my diary pages being a hot topic on everyone's tongue
And when I try to put my affection out for everyone
The efforts and the impact stay unsung
This very time
In my vanity van
Sitting patiently,
Waiting for the next act
Nobody in the frame, even me
Works on the sound of clapperboard
Still, somehow I perform all the stunts on my own
How to include all the acts in one frame?
When a method actor is just an actor pretending to be someone he doesn't claim
Blue in the face
Dissecting all the roles that I've played
What if I eventually lose myself
In this process?
Some of my roles caught everyone's eyes
They were hit and sold out
While there were many, where I didn't live up to the hype
Or got any sort of clout
The outer layer of my acts serves best for a popcorn movie
While the raw, co-dependent ones never connect when the audience gets choosy
This very time
In my vanity van
Sitting patiently,
Waiting for the next act
Nobody in the scene, even me
Works on the sound of clapperboard
Hearing the producer say
"Get the show on the road!"
How to include all the acts in one frame
When a method actor is just an actor pretending to be someone he doesn't claim
What about criticism getting me again?
They'll dissect all the roles I've played
What if I eventually lose myself
In this process?
My movies now get shelved
Expecting a better near-release date
Imposing life-long penalties
I was caught off-guard by my sycophantic tendencies
When I was just done rehearsing the full setlist
While the director changed the script
I was never aware of the plot twists
This very time
In my vanity van
Getting ready for the second act
Nobody in the set, even me
Works on the sound of clapperboard
Eventually, everyone gets on the track for damage control
How to include all these acts in one frame
I'm just a method actor pretending to be someone I don't claim
I was duplicitous, never the same
Dissecting all the roles I've played
Till date,
Even if I lose myself
In this process
I'll get somewhere
Probably someday
I wait for, wait for the betterment
I read them, read them out loud
The emails, those people sent me on my birthday
(Hey Madhu!)
(Your father's doing well)
(Not killing himself)
written by vikshar varma (27/10/23)
YOU ARE READING
My Marketable Mind
PoetryHey, salesman at your door My Marketable Mind is a compilation of songs/poems(?) or whatever you feel fits right for . A 9 track compilation that basically comes from a specific time of this shitass year. I started writing this almost in jan while...
