My Marketable Mind

Masquerade party (explicit)

A conversation is all I ask for at the dinner table
Flashing texts and you blush
How come? I still haven't paid my telephone bill
My romance is somewhat old-school
Every new trick for you is now overused
Bedsheets were wet while the conversations were dry
Am I no longer interesting like one of those guys?
At least talk about that masquerade party
The mask will hide your face but the eyes portray the malady

Would you gather my love if it was some charity?
Dinner is about to get served so can we just talk about that masquerade party?

Would you still call it trespassing
If I invade your thoughts to know what you're thinking
It's not the words that I'm picking
It's the silence that's speaking
Dinner's getting served, and I'm not taking any servings
My love, your love feels like breadcrumbing

The butler, the chef, and the maid still waiting for you to acknowledge
As they leave without any remark to forestall our end
Because even they know you cannot ever look up to me
While still going down on me in that noisy bed
Even it spoke more than you ever did
And by the next morning, we don't even talk about it
You'd rather forget me than let a real conversation happen

Would you rather let me die in curiosity
Or at least talk about something like that masquerade party?

Would you prefer me to go with an elaborate explaining
Or be more formal and provide you with the minutes of the meeting
Still, what are the odds of you not cheating?
It's not the words that I'm picking
It's the silence that's speaking
Dinner's getting served, I'll not take any servings
Babe, your love feels like breadcrumbing

Okay let's talk about the masquerade party
Let's talk about the masks we'll wear
Please don't act so wet behind the ears
Whatsoever suits whosoever
Please, talk to me for the better
My pen can write you good but not my thoughts
A conversation can be the cure
For me, it's a lifetime loss
The silence of your words attacking me to the core
All this time it's you, hiding the antidote
I've pulled every string, this is my last straw
What about etiquettes?
When we already hit the bottom rock
Just kill yourself if you can't talk
It's my bedtime and I'm leaving
And there you stop me,
"I want to talk"
It's too late to have another moment of weakness
I foreshadowed all the breadcrumbing to push this mess
I reach out for my bedroom's doorknob
And an emotional bait comes out
"Maybe you're seeing me for the last time, tonight"
There you go with those old tactics of suicide
Even if you die, all I'll have to deal with is silence
And that would not make much difference
It's okay, you can kill yourself

Before going to bed I think about how
You were available for everyone
But ghosted me for two fucking months
Went to the movies, went to the clubs
I still think about how
You said it wasn't anything major
And how I "overreact" and call you a traitor
After you I'll have second thoughts about loving even a decent person
Cause the one
I loved
Ghosted me for two motherfucking months
It was always on your terms
How is it even fair to me?
I think and regret about how
You were my "basic-human needs"
Maybe I expected way too much
And maybe my those needs turned into greed

written by vikshar varma (11/6/23)