I'll Pick You Up When You're Down // Kellic

Chapter 5 - Sing

*Kellin's POV*

My vision was blurred from the tears. "Go Vic. Just Go!" I yell.

I could feel him get up from the couch. The only noise he made was the sound of the door slamming closed.

I wipe my eyes and drag myself to my bunk. Closing the curtain and blocking off the outside world.

I shove my face into a pillow and scream. I scream as loud and as long as I could, letting out my anger and frustration.

What have I done? I needed Vic here. I need him like a boy needs his mother side...

[A/N HAHA! see what I did there? no? alright...]

But I can't forgive him so easily. He was being selfish to jump to conclusions like that.

I dry my tears and close my eyes. Letting sleep conquer over me.

•••

My curtain gets yanked open, "Ugh!" I mumble and cover my face, the light temporarily blinding my eyes.

"Oops, sorry Kell. Umm, Jesse wanted me to tell you that you can have the day off if you want." Jack says nervously. What? Did he think I was going to outburst in rage or something? I never do that. Oh wait...

"Thanks."

He turns to leave but I grab his shoulder. "Can you bring me my phone?" He sighs and goes to get it.

"D*mn it Kellin, get your own f**king phone!" Justin yells from the other room.

Even Justin's 'charming' personality couldn't get me to smile. Only one person could do that, and I shoved them away when I needed them most.

Jack comes back and tosses me my phone. He hesitates a moment, "Are you alright Kellin?" The worry showing clear on his face.

I can't let him feel any worse. So instead I nod.

He smiles. "Good. We'll be out most of the day, so of you need anything just text anyone of us. But we can stay if you want."

"No. No. You don't need too. I'm good, go have fun."

He sighs and turns around. "Bye then!"

Once again I'm left alone. Just like I'm always been. People walk into my life, decide I'm not good enough and walk back out.

I unlock my phone.

11 missed calls

32 unread texts

Since when did I become so popular?

To my disappointment 31 of the text were from family and friends saying 'sorry for your loss' or other cr*p like that.

But one was from Vic.

Vic: Im sorry. I don't know what I did. Hopefully we can talk this out <3

I didn't reply.

My mind was torn. Half of it wanted to forgive him so badly and run into his comforting arms for being the bestest friend ever and the other half wanted to hold a grudge against him for the rest of my life and hope he gets eaten by an antelope.

But all 11 phone calls were from my mom.

I purse my lips. I really should call her back.

My stomach rumbles distracting me completely. Food. Yes, I need food.

I climb out of my bunk and walk to the kitchen. To my pleasant surprise there was a plate of bacon and eggs on the table.

A note was attached to it.

"Hey little f**ker,

I made you a breakfast

gotta hydrate those unnaturally large lemur eyes of yours

-The King Of The World (Justin)"

If I wasn't in such a cr*ppy mood right now I probably would have laughed my a** off.

Instead I just place the note aside and dig in. Not even caring that it was cold.

The flavours making my stomach happy. Since when was Justin such a master chef?

I finish it up and set the plate in the sink. Someone else can clean up.

I was just about to go mourn some more in my bunk when I hear a knock on the door. At first I was just going to ignore it, but then I realized that if might actually be important.

I look down and realize that I wasn't even wearing a shirt. I shrug and grudging walk to the door, opening it.

To my dismay It was Vic on the other side. His hair was dishevelled and his eyes were bloodshot.

"What do you want?" I scoff.

Vic looks up at me. A blush appearing on his face. "Umm..." He was at a loss for words.

My anger was quickly coming back.

"I'm sorry." He finally chocked out. I narrow my eyes at him.

"Why should you be sorry? You don't even know what you did!"

He slouches his shoulders. "Can I just come in?" His eyes piercing mine. "Can't we just talk this out?"

I grit my teeth and move out of the way. "Fine."

Vic steps in and sits down on the couch.

"So your here. What do you want to talk about?" I snarl.

"Can we start by telling me what I did wrong?" Vic pleads.

"Fine. You want to know what you did wrong? You jumped to conclusions Vic. You think this is about Katelynne. It's not, I couldn't care less that she died!" My voice raising slightly.

He sits stunned, obviously not expecting that answer. "What's it about then?"

I've already gone too far to lie. I have to tell the truth. I have to get it of my chest.

"It's about Copeland okay?! She's currently at her grandmas house. She's no longer going to have a family! I don't think I can take care of her on my own. I just don't want her to have a childhood like it did. She deserves better, and I can't give her that." I pour out.

A tear escapes my eye and I quickly wipe it way with my arm. I will not let Vic see me cry again. He already thinks I'm worthless.

Before he could say anything I turn and run, taking my phone with me.

I run until my lungs burnt and my legs felt like they were going to give out.

I sit down on the sidewalk and catch my breath. When I was able to breathe somewhat normal I take out my cell and call my mom.

She picks up the first ring.

"Kellin! Are you alright?" He voice was laced with worry.

"Yes mom, I'm fine." I sigh.

"Really? Are you sure? A loss is a hard thing to go through."

I just really want to avoid that topic right now.

"How Copeland?" I ask.

"Oh!" She says excitedly. "She is doing wonderful. Definitely a cutie you made. But Kellin honey, when your ready you can come and pick her up."

I look down at my feet. "How long will you be able to keep her?"

She sighs on the other end. "As long as you need sweety. Why? Are you sure your alright? I can come to see you if you want."

"No. Nope." I quickly cut in. "I'm sure I'm fine. Anyway, I have to go! Bye!" She says a loving "goodbye." And I quickly hang up.

I've acted happy enough for one day.

Luckily enough for me there it was. A local Starbucks, just staring at me from across the street. Maybe some coffee can cheer me up.

That's when I look down and see that I still have no shirt on. My hair was a complete mess and I didn't even have any shoes on.

Oh sh*t.

They defiantly wouldn't let me in Starbucks. I couldn't go back to the bus so I just sit back down and let my mind go blank. Blocking all thoughts from my mind.

That's when I hear footsteps loudly thumping on the cement. Getting closer, and closer. Eventually stopping and Sitting next to me?

Please don't be Vic. Please don't be Vic. I chanted in my mind. But curiosity got the best of me and I open my eyes and look to my left.

Sure enough it was the long haired Mexican.

I don't say anything. He doesn't say anything. Except he just places his arm around my waist and scoots closer to me.

I'm too tired to fight against it I think. Ya right, stop kidding yourself Kellin, you want this. Don't lie! Once against my mind was at odds against itself.

You know what? I'm just going to do what I want from now on. No thinking? Just doing.

Starting with Vic.

I turn to him. "I'm sorry Vic. I really can never be mad at you." That's when I throw myself at him into the tightest bear hug ever. Even tighter than bears themselves.

We stay embraced for what seems like forever in my mind. Neither of us making any sighs of pulling away.

"I'm sorry, and thanks for forgiving me." He whispers in my ear. I don't answer, I just pull him closer. Savouring the feeling.

"We'll figure this out together Kellin." Vic reassures me alas pulling me away from him. "We need to get back though. Gabe was looking for you."

"What did he Want?"I ask curious.

He shrugs. "Didn't say."

We stand up and a gust of wind knocks the warmth right out of me. I shiver unintentionally and quite dramatically. Once again I regret bringing a shirt.

"Are you cold?" Vic asks me. I shake my head but my body had other plans and decided to shiver once again.

He shrugs of his sweater and hands it out to me. I don't make any movement to grab it. "Come on. Either your going to take it or I'm going to force it on you.

I grumble. "Fine." And slide into it. It was warm and soft. I take a deep breath. Mmm smelt just like him. I mentally facepalm myself. Well duh, of course it smelt like him.

I look over to Vic and notice what he was wearing. "Nice shirt. He looks confused for a moment but then blushes. It was a Sleeping With Sirens tank top.

"Oh. These guys? Never heard of 'em."

•••

We get back and see that both our bands were outside, just sitting on the concrete parking lot.

Tony had an acoustic guitar and they were all in a circle. "What in the world are you guys doing?" Vic laughs.

"Well." Jaime speaks up. "Our tour manager threatened to quit because apparently we don't 'share our feelings'" he dramatically empathizes with air quotations. "So we are going to each sing a song that represents your feelings."

Jesse, Jack, Gabe and Justin all groan. "If its your bands problem then why are we here?"

Jaime shoots them a glare. "Because. Tour buddies drag each other down with each other."

Mike chuckles. "What if we cants sing?"

"I don't care! You will sing whether you f**king like it or not!" He yells back trying to be stern without laughing.

"Anyone like to go first?" Jaime offers.

Tony cautiously raises his hand. "I guess I will, since I have my guitar. Oh! And sorry, I can't sing"

He starts to sing 'Love Your Friends, Die Laughing' by Man overboard.

When he finishes we all descend into a chorus of 'awes' and 'I love you too Tony!"

He looks down and blushes. "Who wants to go next?"

Jesse chuckles. "I'll go."

"Do you want the guitar?" Tony asks.

He shrugs. "Sure."

"Alright! Lets do this!" Jesse pumps himself up.

He ends up singing 'All I Want' by A Day To Remember.

We all start clapping. "Good job. I want to go now!" Justin practically rips the guitar out of his hands.

Jaime chuckles. "I thought you guys didn't want to do this?" He teases.

Justin just shrugs. "Maybe I lied."

Jaime shakes his head and Justin starts singing 'I Feel Like Dancing' by All Time Low.

We all start laughing hysterically. "Of course Justin. We all know." Jack says sarcastically.

"Let me guess you want to go?" Justin asks.

He nods. "I have to perfect song."

"Really? Well Too bad."

Jack starts to pout furiously. "Jaime!" He screeches. "Justin won't let me play!"

Jaime joins the facade. "Justin honey, if you don't give the guitar to nice little Jack you'll get a embarrassing timeout next time you play on stage." He says in a kind motherly voice.

He grunts. "Fine." And hands the guitar over.

Jack very happily starts to play 'Play It Loud' by MXPX.

When he finishes he goes "Man! That song is perfect."

Next up Jaime plays. "I don't think any of you know this sing though, so...I'll just go anyway."

Within the first few cords I could already tell what song it was and was singing along with it under my breath.

It was 'Lets Cheers To This' by, well...Us.

When he finishes we all clap loudly. "I wonder who sings that? Sounds like a good song." I say.

Jaime just laughs and passes the guitar beside him to Mike.

Of course he sings 'Pretty Fly (For A White Guy) by The Offspring.

"And that's how I feel." He muses. By the time it was over Vic was dying from laughter. I have to say. Mike picked a pretty d*mn relevant song.

Gabe steals the guitar and ignores Vic. The song saying it all. 'Shut-Up and Smile' by Bowling For Soup.

"Aww, you little peace maker!" Justin teases Gabe and slaps him on the back.

"Alright, Vic or Kellin. Who's going next?" Tony asks us.

I look over at Vic for permission. "Go ahead." He urges me.

I get to guitar. "Is it fine if I song two songs?" Everyone nods. "Alright, the first one is 'When I Was Young' by Blink-182."

"I woke up today surrounded by blackness

The small morning sun devoured the process

It's always been fun when I get a bit nervous

And it's hard to say but I feel a bit weightless

The more I admit I feel a bit anxious

The more I go on the less I can face this

And those rotten things that live in our shadow

We walk on the line of death and the gallows

And hope that we clear a path we can follow" I take a deep breath.

"It's the worst damn day

Of my life

I made a mess today

I'm alright

It doesn't hurt that much" Everyone was silent.

"When I was young the world it was smaller

The cities were vast the buildings were taller

I felt really strong my parents seemed stronger

But life has a way it showers with greatness

Then takes it away those pieces that made us

Then teaches you things you'd never imagine

We all get the same the memories the burdens

The pictures we made they still form a pattern

They cautiously say does it all matter"

I strum and let my eyes drift close.

"It's the worst damn day

Of my life

I made a mess today

I'm alright

It doesn't hurt that much"

"It's the worst damn day

Of my life

I made a mess today

I'm alright

It doesn't hurt that much"

"It's the worst damn day

Of my life

I made a mess today

I'm alright

It doesn't hurt that much"

"It's the worst damn day

Of my life

I made a mess today

I'm alright." I sing softly and open my eyes back up. Everyone was watching me intently for any sigh of emotion.

I just move straight to the next song. "My last one is 'I Feel So' by Box Car Racer."

"Sometimes

I wish I was brave,

I wish I was stronger.,

wish I could feel no pain,

wish I was young,

wish I was shy,

I wish I was honest,

I wish I was you not I."

"Cause' I feel so mad

I feel so angry

Feel so callused

So lost confused, again

Feel so cheep

So used unfaithful

Lets start over

Lets start over"

"Sometimes I wish I was smart

I wish I made cures for

How people are

I wish I had power

I wish I could give

I wish I could change the world

For you and me"

"Cause' I feel so mad

I feel so angry

Feel so callused

So lost confused, again

Feel so cheep

So used unfaithful

Lets start over

Lets start over"

"Cause' I feel so mad

I feel so angry

Feel so callused

So lost confused, again

Feel so cheep

So used unfaithful

Lets start over

Lets start over"

"Cause' I feel so mad

I feel so angry

Feel so callused

So lost confused, again

Feel so cheep

So used unfaithful

Lets start over

Lets start over

Lets start over..."

Nobody moves a muscle. My eyes were probably red because I was holding back my tears. I really don't like people seeing me cry.

So, as happily as I could muster I give the guitar to Vic. "Here you go!"

He smiles at me. "Well, I guess this song is going to be different than all off your guys but here it is. 'Can't Stand It' by Never Shout Never."

My heart drops. Why would he sing this? Who's the girl?

"Baby, I love you

I never want to let you go

The more I think about,

The more I want to let you know:

That everything you do,

Is super f**king cute

And I can't stand it"

He was smiling uncontrollably, giddily strumming and singing in his own little world.

"I've been searching for

A girl that's just like you

Cause I know

That your heart is true"

"Baby, I love you

I never want to let you go

The more I think about,

The more I want to let you know:

That everything you do,

Is super duper cute

And I can't stand it"

I couldn't tear my eyes away from his arms. So strong, so muscular. So...perfect? Yes. Definitely perfect.

"Let's sell all our sh*t,

And run away

To sail the ocean blue

Then you'll know,

That my heart is true"

"Baby, I love you

I never want to let you go

The more I think about,

The more I want to let you know:

That everything you do,

Is super duper cute

And I can't stand it"

He suddenly bites his lip, and my heartbeat quickens in pace.

"You, you got me where you want me

Cause I'll do anything to please you

Just to make it through:

Another year."

His long silky hair was falling in front of his deep brown eyes and all I wanted to do was reach out and brush it out of the way.

"You, I saw you across the room

And I knew that this is gonna

Blossom into something beautiful.

You're beautiful."

I pull his hoodie tighter around me and breath in deeply. It felt like he was giving me a big hug. All I could think about was Vic.

"Baby, I love you

I never want to let you go

The more I think about,

The more I want to let you know:

That everything you do,

Is super duper cute

And I can't stand it

No I can't stand it

No I can't stand it."

He slowly looks up at me through his eyelashes, and at that second I realized two things.

First of all I wasn't as straight as I thought.

And second of all,

I loved Vic.