Star Crossed

Anna-Leigh

"That was incredible. I mean I knew you were great with a piano but wow!" Syd gushes passing me another drink. "Was that a new song?" She asks furrowing her brows.

"Old." I shrug.

"Okay well I have to schmooze he who shall not be named but this is going to rock. I am so excited for this." She beams. 

"Are you sure it has to be him? He seems finicky up there." I state.

"Listen, I don't see any future where you have to perform together so relax. I'll have him record when he can, and we'll work at the house together. Then we put it together. It'll be fine."

She seems so sure about this. I know I can't change her mind. 

"Go on then." I sigh.

Grinning she kisses my cheek and heads back to the bar. 

This has disaster written all over it I just have to wait for her to see it too. 

I finish my drink and wait an hour for her to return with the papers all signed and his managers contact information. When we get home it's nearly midnight. I head in to check on mom. Surprisingly she's awake. 

"Are you in pain?" I ask sitting beside her. 

"I was waiting for you. How was it?" She asks. Taking my hand in her cold one. 

"Liam put me on the spot. I shouldn't have been surprised. But it was okay." I nod. 

She smiles and shakes her head. 

"Did you find someone to do your duet with then?"

"Syd wants Gavin to do it." I admit. 

"That'll be nice." Mom sighs. I recoil at this.

"What?" I ask furrowing my brow.

"He took care of me in the hospital." She tells me making me blanche. Who the fuck does he think he is?

I guess guilt makes people do funny things.

"He's not a good person mom. Don't let him fool you." I scoff. 

"What do you mean? You two used to be so close." She furrows her brows as if she's trying to remember. 

"Yes, until he did unspeakable things to me." I grit out, clenching my fists. 

"What?" Mom says, confusion written all over her face. She would be the only person in this town that was clueless. 

"He's the reason I left mom." I tell her trying to tamp my anger down. 

She looks completely lost. I sometimes forget she was too drunk and high to be present. I didn't even say bye to her that night. 

"Will you tell me about it?" She asks softly. 

I stare at her for a long time before nodding and sitting back down. I can't bear to look at her though, so I face the wall. 

"It was winter break. The entire senior class went to the ski lodge hours away. Gavin was always popular; his looks were the main reason no doubt. I stuck to myself when he wasn't around. But that night when we were done skiing one of his friends invited me to a party. It was in one of the cabins we rented. It was fun at first. I had a few drinks, laughed. Danced. Gavin was surrounded by girls and Chris, the one that invited me, stayed with me to make sure that I enjoyed myself. 

I went to the bathroom and when I came back, he gave me another drink.  Things got patchy after that. Like glimpses of what was happening. I was led to a room to lie down. My body was weak, lethargic and my movements were slow. 

I blacked out and when I woke up, I was alone, but I had my clothes on, so I didn't think anything. I was sore and thought I drank too much. 

It wasn't until a week later that I knew the truth. I went to school like a normal Wednesday. The whispers started that morning. By lunch time people were laughing at me. 

Gavin found me and started screaming at me. "Are you fucking serious? Chris! I have been in love with you our entire fucking lives and you fuck CHRIS!" And I was like "No, I didn't." And he showed me his phone." 

My voice cracks and I shake my head. "When he took me to that room I passed out and he took a video of him raping me, he said it was consensual. I didn't have any recollection either way. I went into the bathroom and threw up my lunch. I skipped the next two periods. Hiding. When the final bell rang I went to my locker in time to see Gavin and Casey painting Whore on my locker."

I cover my face to hide my shame and mom sucks in a breath. Taking my hands in hers she makes me look at her. 

She wipes my tears and rubs my face until I calm down. 

"He's such a great guy, huh mom?" I laugh shaking my head. 

She stares at me for a moment not speaking. Sighing I stand up. 

I leave her room and head to mine. Changing my clothes and grabbing a pen and my notepad. I sit on my bed and get lost in my music. Everything feels too raw all of a sudden. I've never repeated that story to anyone.

Syd knows that Gavin did something unforgivable to me. Bad enough to make me never want to come back here. 

I can't help but laugh at how things turned out. He even has my mother believing he's a saint. My stomach tightens and I feel like I'm going to hurl. 

Closing my eyes, I try to lock everything back away. 

Opening my eyes, I set the pen down and lie on the bed staring at the ceiling. The anger and hurt I felt then is resurfacing now. Waiting for me to let it out. 

I debate going back downstairs to ask her about her plans for the house, but I can't face her right now. After all she wasn't present in the worst times of my life. Somethings can never be forgotten.