Star Crossed

Gavin

"Have fun tonight. Get laid or something." I state.

Luke looks at me as if I have two head and I laugh.

"When was the last time you acted your age? I've saddled you with so much lately." I admit. 

"Well, thanks for the sudden interest in my sex life." He chuckles. 

Rolling my eyes, I scoop Kai up and follow Luke out the door. He's getting the girls out of the house first before I go in. 

I watch as his land rover pulls next door. He knocks at the door, and it opens. I watch them pile in and head out before letting myself in. 

Tapping on Nadine's bedroom door softly I wait until she tells us to come in. 

"Nay!" My son coos jumping out of my arms and nestling into her arms.

"You brought me a gift." She laughs softly. 

She looks awful. Her bones are showing, and her skin has a gray tint. Swallowing I sit beside her. 

"Luke said you wanted to see me." I state. 

"Life is too short." She takes a shuddering breath. "To live with regret." She says meeting my gaze. 

In that moment I know, she knows.

"Wise words." I mutter making her smile. 

"You both had shit parents." She shrugs. My heart aches at the truth in her words.

"Can't say I'm far from them." I sigh.

Her eyes darken and her smile fades.

"We all make mistakes." She states firmly. "Don't exile yourself for it."

"I can't change the past." 

"Don't I know that."

"I'm trying to move on." I state.

"You can't if you're stuck in the past. Both of you are too stubborn." She sighs. 

"There's no point beating a dead horse, Nadine. What's done is done."

"As long as you're both alive it's not too late." She points out. 

"What are you holding on for, Nadine?" I question. 

"I need. To say. My piece." She pants. 

"It's easier to forgive someone that's dying."

She smiles at this. 

"You're not your daddy." She sighs. Closing her eyes even seems painful. 

"She got out. Remember you told me that's all you wanted for her? She did it Nadine. She's thriving in life." I whisper squeezing her hand. 

"I lied." She laughs which turns into a cough. I place Kai on my lap. Stroking his hair. 

"About what?" I lean closer. 

"I wanted her to be independent, never to depend on a man." She rattles out a laugh.

"I think it's safe to say she doesn't." I muse. My lips forming a smile. 

"You didn't break her any more than I did, Gavin. Someday she'll see that too." She murmurs. 

"Shh. Rest." I whisper kissing her cheek. I bite my cheek, so I don't cry like a bitch. 

"Tell her." She murmurs before taking a harsh breath. 

"I can't." I sigh. But it's too late. I watch her chest fall for the last time. A tear falling down my cheek.

Covering my face with my hand I send a text to Luke. 

She's gone.

I call the ambulance and Cash who I know won't return the call. Sitting on the porch I watch the land rover pull in behind the paramedics. I scoop Kai up and sneak back next door undetected. Settling him into bed and singing him to sleep like I always used to do. 

When I make it downstairs a knock on the door has me pausing. I open it and see Syd with a bottle of bourbon. Pushing past me she heads to the kitchen and grabs two glasses. 

"What are you doing here?" I ask entering behind her.

"Luke's with Anna-Leigh. Who's with you?" She muses pouring two glasses and passing me one. "She clearly meant something to you too. Whether it was out of guilt or whatever. So, tell me about her." She shrugs leaning against the counter.

Nodding I sit at the table and twist the glass in my hands. 

"You wouldn't believe it now, but she is definitely where Anna-Leigh got her looks from." I laugh and down my drink only to have her refill it. "When we were kids, I used to tell Anna-Leigh I was going to marry her mom if she didn't marry me."

Syd smiles at this and sits across from me. 

"She was so nice back then. A doting wife and mother. I wish I understood what happened." I sigh. 

"Life." Syd muses downing her drink and refilling it. 

"I guess." I nod. "We used to go on vacation together. Zoos, aquariums. Then it stopped. We had a bond forged in pain and suffering. I convinced myself that that's all that it was." I laugh shaking my head. "That party, that fucking night." I sigh. "I guess I saw what I wanted. It seemed like her, and Chris were all over each other. I was dead wrong though, yeah?"

"Misunderstanding." She nods. 

"I'm not sure when I fell in love with her. I never knew until that video came out though. And I used the words in the most vile and disgusting way. I should have cooled down before I confronted her." 

"In a perfect world it would have worked out." She sighs. I see something behind her eyes, dark and sad. I never noticed it before. 

"I fell down a rabbit hole when she left. After two months of waiting for her to come back. I sat on her porch for days on end. Then I fell into the bottom of a bottle. Partied hard. That's how Kai happened." I admit. 

"I knew her mom didn't notice. Not for a while at least. She had nobody." My voice cracks and I down my drink again. Syd refills it and nods. 

"I despise myself for all of it. I always will. There is no redemption for what I did." I laugh but I feel the tears burning my eyes. 

"I knew a guy once. He was charming and handsome. Only when we were alone, he turned into a beast. The things he had done to me, there is no redemption there. But you, I think there could be." She admits. 

"Where is he now?" I ask out of curiosity.

"Probably still looking for me." She admits. Fear laces her words, but she doesn't blanche. I don't know what she's been through, but I can tell it's a hell of a lot worse than anything I've done.