Star Crossed

Gavin

I work at the studio dusk till dawn the next day. It was supposed to be my day off, but I needed away from Luke and his jabs. 

With Kai at daycare and Luke tearing down Anna-Leigh's childhood home I had a clear schedule, so I took advantage. Lacey's on my ass to finish this song to perfection so we can release it and today felt perfect. I was drowning in self-loathing. 

By the time I close up the studio my fingers ache in the best way. Tomorrow when Lacey hears it, she better be happy with me. 

When I make it home, I crash hard. The funerals tomorrow and then the day after Syd is supposed to come over to finish the song. Then they'll be gone, and I can live my life the way I wanted to begin with. 

Sleep comes easily but it isn't restful. Faces haunt me all night leaving me awake at three in the morning. I shower and make breakfast before Kai gets up then I lay our clothes out for the funeral. 

Luke told me to come and after arguing I finally relented to him. 

Looking in the mirror I see that the bags under my eyes are even more prominent today. I exit the bathroom and dress in my black pants and dress shirt before stepping into my dress shoes. I hate funerals. This is the third I have attended in a little over a year now. 

I dress Kai after cleaning him up. Combing his unruly hair. He needs a haircut soon. I make myself a note and hang it on the refrigerator. Luke comes down in his funeral attire and we pile into his land rover. The ride is silent. Even Kai is quiet. 

When we get to the church, I scoop my son into my arms and head inside. I see Syd first. Flitting around making sure everything is the way that it should be. She smiles upon seeing us and tells us to sit anywhere. 

They have the air conditioning on but it's still hot as hell in here. I hand Kai his cup and a toy to occupy himself for the time being. 

A few people I recognize from town are here but other than that it seems like an intimate affair. Only adding to my anxiety. I am the last person that Anna-Leigh would want here. 

As soon as the thought enters my head the doors open, and I eat my own words. He is definitely the last person she would want here. 

I watch Syd furrow her brows in confusion. Luke's mouth gapes. My eyes seek Anna-Leigh and as if on cue her head snaps in his direction. Eyes narrowing. Before she can speak though the pastor clears his throat asking everyone to take a seat. 

Cash sits in the back thankfully. 

The pastor talks about Nadine's life and death and other stuff I'm not really listening too. Then it's over and we all say our goodbyes to her before heading to the cemetery for the burial. 

Anna-Leigh beelines for her father. He looks prepared though, holding his hands out. 

"What the fuck are you doing here?" She growls. 

"I wanted to come sooner, but I was tied up." He states. Bull shit.

"I cannot believe you!" She seethes. 

"Calm down." He sighs running a hand over his hair. 

"You did not just tell me that. Who do you think you are?" Her voice is rising now. Thankfully Luke grabs her wrist and yanks her back a step. 

"You don't want to cause a scene Anna-Leigh. Come on." He murmurs.

If looks could kill Cash would be dead on the floor. 

Shooting daggers at him she allows Luke to pull her away and towards the front of the church with Syd. It's then that I notice Liam upfront as well. 

He looks torn between his niece and his brother, poor bloke. 

Everyone files out of the church to head to the cemetery when Syd and Anna-Leigh pause beside us. She glances at my son and her eyes soften. Offering her hand to him. 

"Do you want to come see something Nadine made when I was little?" She asks him. 

"Nay." He coos taking Anna-Leigh's hand and going with her. I swallow the strange lump in my throat. Stunned. 

"Come on cowboy." Syd stifles her laugh, grabbing my arm and pulling me a long. But I know what she's showing him. 

When we get to the cemetery a huge mural hangs. A mural Nadine painted when we were in diapers. 

It's of Anna-Leigh and me with our mothers. I try to clear my throat but it's a wasted effort. 

I had no idea it survived all the wreckage of our lives. 

"She wants you to have it." Syd says elbowing me. 

"Why?" I ask. 

"For him. Obviously." She scoffs. My sons grinning touching the picture. All I can do is nod. 

Cash stands beside me and blows out a breath.

"She's a spit fire." He muses looking at his daughter. 

"You're a twit." I grumble making him chuckle. 

"The one that got away, eh?" He prods. 

Rolling my eyes, I stand there and wait. We throw a handful of dirt on the casket and a rose. It takes coaxing for Kai to do it but eventually he does. Never taking his eyes off of the mural. 

I feel like someone choked the oxygen from my brain. When everyone starts to head back to the church for food I notice Anna-Leigh swipe a rose and head in the opposite direction. Luke takes Kai wordlessly and follows Syd. 

I follow the girl that never seems to leave my head, even a million miles apart.

She stops in front of my mother's grave and sits with her head bowed. 

"Take care of each other now." I hear her say before laying the rose down on the stone. I debate leaving her alone, suddenly feeling like I have her cornered. But this is my mother's plot. She runs her fingers over the words on the stone before standing up and straightening her dress out. Clearing her throat, she turns, and her eyes meet mine. Sucking all the remaining air from my lungs. 

This is the first time in three years I've been this close to her. Close enough to take in her sharpened features. She looks older, more defined. Harder. 

She steps around me and I deflate. Her silence has always been the one thing I hated the most. At least if she was yelling at me, I knew she gave a shit. 

"They had an affair. Your father and my mother. So, I guess I can't take it personally. Right? Obviously being a raging douche runs in your family." She says with her back to me. 

Something about her words, how she said them out of spite angers me though. I spin around and grab her wrist making her face me. 

"You don't get to say it like that. You don't get to drop a bomb in such a shitty way." I growl. She furrows her brows at first. Then she smirks, meeting my gaze. There's something ugly and lethal in the way she looks at me. 

"It sucks, doesn't it? Having something thrown in your face, so heavy as if it means nothing." She rips her wrist out of my hand as if I've burned her. "He ruined her life, and you ruined mine." She spits.

Her words are like a slap to the face. All I can do is watch her walk away, again.