~•|Stress of perfection|•~ OMORI

-Bad Break-

TW: Semi graphic depictions of self harm and self deprecating thoughts

Be warned, and enjoy!

MAIN

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POV-Sunny ☀

Perfect. Perfect. PERFECT.

That has been a word coming out of Mari's mouth every single day for the past few months. It's driving me crazy, because I know I'm not perfect.

Nothing like they want me to be. A useless piece of meat. Waste of space. Obstacle.

The words clung to my brain every day I held that God forsaken violin. It's selfish really. My friends all got me it for Christmas last year.

They wasted their time on a present I don't even enjoy anymore. They still worked so hard for me... 

"Such a ungrateful child" our parents would've said while talking about me. My chest tightened and twisted until I was sure I couldn't breathe. 

Desperate attempts to fill my lungs are about the only thing I can focus on other than my thoughts. The pain doesn't stop as I try to take deep breaths. It only gets far worse.

With tears rolling down my face like waterfalls, soft hiccups echo throughout the large bedroom. Mari and mom are out for shopping, and dad is at work. That's leaving me to my own devices for another hour or so.

Suddenly I have this feeling. A slight tingling in my wrist, it was more of an empty feeling. I look down to the part in confusion, not seeing an issue. My breathing picked up and thoughts once again swarmed my head. Something was missing.

Like a weak and puny ant, I couldn't fight the thoughts and I looked for something, anything, to stop them. I look to Mari's bed stand, my eyes squinting when something sharp and shiny is in my line of sight.

Mom had given her a purple pocket knife for protection, and because she trusts her with the item. I practically crawled over to the small table and snatched the knife.

Hesitation was present as I held the blade in my small hands, before I dug the knife down into my wrist. The pain eased my worries, erased the sorrow for a moment as I felt myself calming down. Pain was missing.

Cuts soon filled both my wrists, my own blood trickling down my arms and into a small puddle on the floor. The more cuts I ended up pitting, the more pressure I put down on them.

I looked down at my distorted arms and gasped slightly in horror. What had I just done? I quickly, and dizzily, got up and ran towards the bathroom. With the knife still in hand, I threw it in the sink and washed it off.

I opened the bottom cabinet and pulled out some hydrogen peroxide. I opened the plastic bottle and poured the substance all over the cuts, not caring how much I wasted down the sink in the process. As the clear liquid seeped into my skin, bubbles started forming above the cuts.

I sighed and looked at the clock on the wall. 1:26, they should get back in about thirty minutes. That's enough time for sure... I think.

I took a deep breath before washing the knife and rinsing off the healing medicine off my arm. I wrapped my wrists and ran to put the knife away exactly where it was before.

Sighing, I cleaned up the blood on the floor and waited for my family to get home by drawing in my sketchbook. A sunflower, such lovely flowers, they remind me of someone too. I hope if he finds out he won't be disgusted or run away from me. He might cry though, he's prone to that.

Basil. I was filled with contentment at the thought of his name as I drifted off into slumber. I hoped to dream about something fun, as the dream I want to live in is anything but real life...