~•|Stress of perfection|•~ OMORI

-Journal discoveries-

TW: Su!c!d3, and gay people.

That's all u really need to know<3

MAIN

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POV: Basil 🌻

I tried desperately to drown out the thoughts in my head as the police came, but he was already dead. Tears cascaded down my face hitting my hands. I couldn't look at him, nor Mari anymore.

I can't believe I had been so stupid to let this happen. He was with me almost everyday... I should've done something. Maybe when he was wearing those long sleeves, he did something to himself.

More tears escaped my eyes, I was way too weak and panicked to get up from the floor. Before the police sirens reached the Suzuki's house, our friends did. Knocking on the door, before ultimately barging in.

"Hey, we're here"! Kel announced loudly throughout the house.

"Shut up, Kel, don't break their windows". Aubrey fired back in an attempt to calm his yelling.

There was silence for a little while, then Hero spoke up.

"You guys wait here, I-I need to check something out"...

I saw him walking up the stairs from the sibling's room... I don't even know if I should put it that way anymore. I forced myself to get up and wipe my tears a little more. I ran out of the room and in front of Hero, stopping him from going any further.

He had a confused look on his face, but more worried when he saw the bit of blood on my hands.

"W-Wait... don't g-go over there"- I warned him before he cut me off suddenly, catching the attention of Aubrey and Kel. 

"B-Basil, what happened? Is that blood"?! Hero exclaimed, Aubrey and Kel ran up the stairs too, asking a bunch of questions. in the mist of their interrogation, I blurted out a response.

"Something happened w-with Sunny and the police are going to handle it, okay..."? I answered their questions with an uneasy voice. They stared in shock, but it calmed their inquiries.

We waited outside for the police to come while the world flashed by me as I cried...   

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡_______________⋅♡ ☁️‧₊˚

Two weeks later

The friend group never felt more distant and cold than now. Sunny is gone, and there is nothing I can do about it. The funeral was last week and I haven't seen the rest of the friend group other than Kel since.

He supposedly came to everyone's door since Sunny... died... he's so considerate, why can't I be like that? I'm good for nothing if I can't even save my best friend from killing himself. I put some white tulips in my messenger bag, to give to the Suzuki family.

I dried my tears and walked outside till I got to Sunny's old house. It was bright and warm, like a hug from him in the winter. There was a slight breeze, making my hair flow to the side a bit.

I knocked on the door, awaiting an answer. I came to check up on Mari and how the Suzuki's were doing in general. It was rude of me to be so selfish and lock myself in my room for a few days.

Their mother answered the door with a weak and broken smile, it saddened me to see her in such a state.

"H-Hello, I just wanted to see how you guys are doing... it's okay if you need more time, though"! I reassured her, as she gave me a strained laugh.

"No,no, it's quite alright", She motioned for me to come inside. "You were the friend Sunny talked about the most, he liked you a lot".

I blushed at the statement and stepped inside. It was a lot brighter than that day, and a bit more tidy. It was like Ms.Suzuki to stress clean, but it was like a brand new house. She had closed the door behind me and walked to the kitchen to start cooking

I sighed plaintively, before heading up the stairs to Mari's room. I grabbed the door handle, but hesitated opening it. What is his corpse is still there with the blood stained note beside him?

I quickly shook my head and took a deep breath, opening the door slowly. As it creaked, I closed my eyes, bracing myself for something. But nothing came.

Instead, there was a clean smell coming from the room and a rug where the body used to be. It sent chills down my spine that they could cover it up that well, even though I would always know what had happened in that room.

All of Sunny's things were in the same place they were before, with one thing sticking out in particular. A black notebook clashes amidst blue covers that reach the ground. I go inside the room, closing the door behind me.

Mari wasn't there, I found that to be odd. Maybe she was in the bathroom? It worried me slightly, but she was probably out shopping with her father or something. Deep down I knew that she would never get over her brother's death that quickly. She was probably still in the house somewhere.

I walked over to his bed and sat down, looking out the window that the sun showed through. I bent down and picked up the little book. It looked like a journal, maybe I could get some answers for it.

I put it in my little messenger bag and almost walked out of the room. I saw the tulips in my bag, I nearly forgot about the precious flowers. I sighed and put them on the window cell, walking out of the room quickly after. I waved goodbye to Ms.Suzuki, then walked back to my house.

Aubrey was devastated at the passing, I haven't seen her since the funeral. Hero's been trying to get Mari outside with Kel since Sunny died. Kel's been trying desperately to get everyone together again, but I think he needs to give everyone a little more time.

I opened the door to my room and ran to my bed. I dug into my messenger bag and got out the tiny black journal. I flicked off the elastic strap and saw the first page claimed that it was, indeed, Sunny's diary.

I read through some of the pages which just recollected his days with us and practicing for the recital. The recital ones were always the more sad ones, I wonder if Mari was pushing him too far.

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Dear Diary,

Today I should've just stayed home, instead of wearing long sleeves. Basil even questioned me, I think it was pretty obvious and kind of weird to wear long sleeves on only a windy day. I feel selfish for cutting when Mari was gone, but I deserve it. I just hope Basil won't think of me any different if he finds out. I like him too much for that.

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I knew something was up that day. I can't believe I made him feel that I would think of him differently. I glossed over that last sentence, I read a bit too fast. I read another few pages but one in particular caught my eye and my heart.

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Dear Diary,

Basil is really cute. I don't know if I can feel like this but I feel myself blushing every time I hold his warm hands. I think I like him, but he thinks I like Aubrey, I want to kiss him not Aubrey. He is my favorite person, other than Mari. I hope he catches on soon.

__________

Tears escape my eyes as I read it. To think I could've had a chance with him if I knew he was going though such a burden. I set the journal down and curl up into a ball, crying myself to sleep on my bed.

04/20/24 lol this is the longest one yet