Just like a coin has two sides to it , like a day has light and darkness in it , every story has two sides to it . One might wonder how a woman could be so cruel and heartless as to hurt someone who harbored so much love for her in his heart , but one should not forget to look at the other side of the story too. Maybe ... Just may be there could be a reason for someone to become so cold and detached...
10 years ago...
One early morning Vasudha was getting ready for school when she heard her Amma call Rakesh to get ready for college since it was getting late for him to catch his bus . Being five years senior to her Vasudha and Rakesh didn't share a very ideal brother - sister relationship , it was a strained one to say the least. They barely even talked to each other when in the same room , much less exchange pleasantries in the mornings . They put their best efforts to avoid each other's lives to a decent degree . It doesn't mean that they don't have affection or love towards each other, it was all there... more than they can let the other's to see , perhaps at times for themselves to express it to each other. Maybe it was because of the differences in their age , while Vasudha was still figuring out how to find a solution for a simple multiplication and division , her brother was trying to figure out his sexuality in his early teenage years.
However , Vasudha was happy with that arrangement , she had always been the quiet one , being the centre of attention for mockery and insults just for being a few sizes extra than other children in her school would do that to a person. Initially when the children her age made fun of her , it hurt her immensely . Often at nights she would cry herself to sleep thinking about their cruel words about her . But as she grew up she learnt to hide her emotions , for the more she reacted the more it became easy for the girls to provoke her even more , so she put on a calm and dispassionate veneer and mastered the art of hiding her emotions .
She didn't have many friends of her own , but she did have one very best friend who didn't bully her or made fun of her like the others , instead he accepted her as she is and respected her. But he ended up going away when his Father got his transfer to Hyderabad four years ago. She felt really worn out and dejected after Sathish went , after all they had been friends since kindergarten , it was funny how he never saw her in the way others looked at her , it was never "Fatty" but always his bestie " Vasu" for him.
When inadvertently Vasudha's mind drifted to how Sathish was faring in a far away place she heard her Amma call out , " Shall I pack the lunch for you today , Rakesh...?"
To which she heard her brother say ," Did you remember me telling about a function coming up in our college ? Me , Shankar , Pallavan and a few others are chosen for decorating our college auditorium for that intercollege competition , so the management would be providing lunch for the volunteers , so don't pack lunch for me for the next few days , Ma..."
She heard her brother say , being the quiet and timid one didn't mean Vasudha was clueless of the happenings in her surroundings , she always listened to every conversation and witnessed every emotion that would cross people's face when they think nobody was paying attention to them , because it was easy for her to blend in to the shadows.
Unlike any other day , instead of letting go of the conversation between her Amma and brother to float away from her mind , it kept repeating itself on tune for the rest of the day , even during her class hours and during her lunch break , especially one particular name.
" Pallavan" .
It was such a rare and archaic name probably used in ancient historical novels , she thought it to herself . She mused how it was funny for someone to name their child with such an odd name as she sat quietly in the corner of her bench while eating her lunch during her break.
However , she didn't give much thought about it after some time . A few days went by and as she was doing her homework in the living room one Saturday evening , while her Amma prepared some snacks in the kitchen , she saw her brother getting ready to go out . She wondered where her Anna was going but instead of asking him anything she minded her own business.
As he combed his hair in front of the living room mirror , she heard her Amma coming out of the kitchen . " Where are you going , Rakesh ? It's already getting dark !!"
She turned around to her Amma's voice . " I'll be back soon , Ma ! I'm going out with Pallavan , he will drop me home if it gets late." Vasudha listened to her brother's response , again the name kind of struck her as odd , accompanied with an unknown kind of excitement.
" Bring him home sometime , Rakesh !" Her Amma said out of courtesy , to which Rakesh slid a sidelong glance towards Vasudha for a moment before replying , " We'll see , Ma!'' Saying this Rakesh walked out but somehow her brother's voice felt strained and forced to Vasudha's ears.
Vasudha was just stepping inside the new world of adulthood and the perks of getting used to teenage hormones . It was an unsettling feeling for a girl like Vasudha , while other girls her age embraced their sexuality with gracefulness , Vasudha had to walk through thorns everyday to take even a peaceful breath. The teen world was not very welcoming to people with chubby cheeks , with excess flesh jiggling whenever she tried to run around her hips. Boys her age pursued apparently slim girls with delicate features , but Vasudha made peace with that , instead she focussed on her studies and concentrated on the next step in her life.
Days went by ,Vasudha went about her routine but her ears would perk up with anticipation whenever her Amma and her brother had any conversation just to know if somehow the guy with the rare name came up in their conversation. At times she would hear her brother mentioning his friend's name time and again , and everytime she found herself smiling like an idiot on hearing the name. She didn't know why hearing about him made her smile , somehow it made no sense to her however she didn't give much thought to that either.
Two years went by just like that , however being in tenth grade sucked the life out of every student , assignments and homeworks always piled up even on weekdays too. Rakesh finished college and apparently joined a startup company with his college buddy , Pallavan. She never got the chance to meet the guy even after him visiting their home a few times over the years , either she was always too immersed in her schoolwork or she was out in her school , but at times she would hear a deep and sensual voice talking with her mother . Very smooth yet striking ... Like rich smooth molten chocolate flowing over a sharp knife .
She often felt a tinge of sadness , for always missing out on a chance encounter with him . On some random days she would think about the guy , wondering to herself of how he would look. "Will he be tall ? Short ? Lean? Or is he a short guy ? Was he a good looking guy or would there be something special about him just like his name ? "
These kinds of silly questions would often circle Vasudha's mind regarding the faceless person and sometimes she would try to imagine the person's face with the voice she used to hear talking with her Amma . She even thought something was terribly wrong with her for thinking about a guy she never ever have met while girls her age were falling for boys in flesh and blood , and not just with a name.
During her summer vacation , one afternoon , when the sun was high up in the sky casting a rather comforting warmth around , Vasudha stretched her legs out on the velvet grass beneath the huge mango tree . Leaning behind with the support of her hands she let her long hair down and it gently danced along with the wind , she looked up at the bright blue sky , with all those fluffy white clouds that floated along the rich blue expanse Vasudha basked in the gentle humid breeze of the pleasant summertime.
With her Amma cooking their lunch in the kitchen , her Appa and Anna watching a debate show in the living room Vasudha loved being left alone to her own heart's musings and enjoyed her quiet time. Her heart was light , strands of her hair fell over her face but she didn't bother to tuck it behind her ears , instead her lips started to hum her favourite song.
Suddenly she heard soft footsteps coming towards her , alarmed at who that might be at this time of hour , Vasudha snapped her head in the direction of the sound and for a moment her breath caught in her throat , she felt the air around her becoming more hot by the minute when her eyes landed on the guy in front of her.
He was tall and lean with broad shoulders , a chiselled jaw , full lips and his perfectly cropped hair curled short of the collar of his black button down shirt . As her mind contemplated to who that might be , she realised his eyes on her , when she looked up at his eyes her breath hitched for a moment. The rich shade of his dark brown irises reminded her of molten chocolate and it mesmerized her , with a four day stubble that accentuated his strong jaws , he looked as if he came right out of a magazine .
The silence stretched only for a few seconds , but it felt as if it had been too long a moment. Pulling herself and her thoughts together Vasudha asked , " Who are you ? Why are you going inside my house and what do you want ?" She tried to sound stern.
Instead of answering her question the guy flashed her a charming smile and in response her heart did a flip , but a nagging feeling at the back of her mind made her sit straight on the grass and she asked him in a slightly irritated tone , " Hey Mister ! What is so funny ? Why are you grinning like an idiot ?"
It seemed that her annoyed words didn't anger him but it sure did wipe his grin off of his face . However with a small smile playing at the corner of his lips he spoke to her ," I'll tell you who I am but before that tell me who you are , because I don't have the habit of telling my name to strangers."
Eventhough his words were soft and playful she recognised his voice , but she wanted to be sure if he was the same guy she had been wishing to see for the past few years. Instead of asking if he was indeed who she thought he was , Vasudha pulled his leg a little more. " Oh... Is that so ? Alright Mister ! That's indeed a very good habit of you but for me I don't have the habit of telling my name to idiots like you , so tell me why are you here or else I'll ask someone to throw you out of the house. "
Again instead of getting angry or irritated at her rudeness , the guy laughed out loud at her words and made her heart flutter even more in her rib cage . Truth to be told , his laughter was contagious for it took all of Vasudha's willpower to keep a straight face . After a few minutes once he managed to control his laughter , he spoke again , " Calm down young lady ! You can call anyone you want , you can even call the owner of this house , Mister Ramachandran too , but instead of throwing me out he would take me inside . But before that tell me your name ...!"
For days Vasudha tried to give a face to the name and voice she had heard but now here he was , looking down intently at her , as if her reply really meant something to him . Nobody had ever looked at her like that nor had anyone ever bothered to spend their time conversing with her beside her Amma . But here ... this guy was genuinely enjoying an unusual chit chat with her , not even in a hurry to end their conversation. However instead of welcoming him as one should've done with her brother's best friend Vasudha continued their rather playfully fiery altercation , she rather enjoyed this very much .
Clearing her throat , " You do have a brain , but you're still an idiot Pallavan ! It is going to be difficult for you to know my name , so good luck with that ." Vasudha saw the way Pallavan's eyes widened in shock at the mention of his name. Vasudha realised she had caught him off-guard , also she was very confident of him never finding out her name because she knew her parents rarely ever called her by her given name.
Suddenly Vasudha stood from where she sat for she couldn't bare his intense gaze after his initial shock , as his throat worked to say something Vasudha heard her Amma calling her out , " AMMADIII.... AMMADIIII...!"
Not wanting to make her Amma worry , Vasudha shouted back , " Coming Ma...!" Saying this Vasudha started to walk towards the house , suddenly she heard Pallavan calling her , " Ammadiii...!"
She had heard her family call her by that pet name for almost all her life , but when he said it in his smooth deep voice , it made Vasudha's heart flutter fiercely even more than it already was. However , not wanting him to know how much of an effect he was having on her Vasudha turned around and gave him a sweet smile , " Goodbye Mister Pallavan !" saying this Vasudha took each step at a time carefully and when she she was sure of not being in his line of sight she sprinted towards her bedroom and closed the door gently behind her , she needed that time to compose her racing heart and irregular breathing before facing her Amma or any of her family members.
Vasudha didn't know why she was reacting in such a way , however she liked the feeling she experienced whenever she was in his vicinity .
A few days went by after their first meeting , slowly she felt her Amma becoming very tired even after doing small chores in the house , she asked her Amma if she was alright but like any other middle class Mother , her Amma too ignored her daughter's questions casually . So instead of hounding her Amma with questions , Vasudha quietly took it upon herself to do the household chores in an attempt to reduce the workload for her Amma , also it helped her in a different way . Whenever Pallavan came home , instead of asking her to do her homework in her room , Vasudha's Amma asked her to prepare coffee or tea for their regular guest.
Taking this as her chance to be around him , Vasudha would prepare the hot beverage and sit along with her Amma to share the drink with them. She liked to listen to their conversation , for a guy in his early twenties Pallavan surprised Vasudha in the way he talked with her Amma , always finding a topic that would interest them both he often made her laugh and that made her to like him even more. During one of his visits , as she was crossing the kitchen she saw Amma and Pallavan talking casually , as she watched she saw him adjusting the taste of the coffee her Amma made .
Curious as to how he liked his coffee , Vasudha tasted the remaining beverage her Amma stashed away for her brother and Appa. The moment she sipped the coffee , she struggled to swallow it past the gag for it tasted as bitter as the unrefined coffee powder itself . Shaking her head in disbelief Vasudha walked back to her room. Days went by and she noticed a shadow of sorrow surrounding Pallavan like a dull aura whenever he visited . She yearned to know why his eyes held a sadness in them , but she had no way to find out.
One late September afternoon she saw her brother hurriedly getting ready to go out , something felt off for Vasudha looking at the strained expression on his always calm face , but somehow Vasudha tried to not think about it. That evening she saw Pallavan stepping inside their living room minutes after her brother came home from wherever he went that afternoon. For a moment Vasudha's heart stopped at his distraught appearance , she kept staring at his face , barely registering him asking for Rakesh.
To which she heard her Amma telling him that Rakesh had gone to take a bath. After taking the folded clothes inside the bedroom she saw her Amma coming and sitting beside Pallavan , " Is something the matter , Pallavan ? You look so dull ..." She heard her Amma ask in a concerned tone .
From where she stood , Vasudha was able to see how Pallavan's throat worked to say something , but no word came past his lips instead he just nodded indicating nothing was wrong . Pallavan sat there like a wounded animal , Vasudha felt barely restrained emotions on his face , one wrong word and he would end up destroying himself and everything around him.
Sensing his delicate mindset she saw her Amma gently placing a hand on his shoulder,
" Are you missing your Mother , Pallavan ?" Vasudha sensed that that question had hit him hard .
Dropping his head Pallavan nodded his head up and down. " Ohhooo...Did you forget Pallavan , you have a Mother sitting right beside you ! Don't ever forget that , dear ...!'' She heard her Amma say with all the love she had for her Son's best friend and stroked his hair softly.
Suddenly ,her Amma's voice snapped at her from the reverie , " Ammadi ! Prepare coffee for your Anna and Pallavan quickly ."
Turning around to prepare what had been asked of her , she heard her brother coming out of the bathroom. She listened to her Amma asking Rakesh if everything was alright in a doubtful tone , to which she heard him pretend as if nothing was wrong . Call it sibling intuition or emotional connection , she sensed from her brother's words that something very bad has happened .
Thinking as to what might have happened she prepared the coffee quickly keeping in mind to prepare one cup the way Pallavan always preferred . Placing the two cups on a tea tray she knocked on her brother's door . It took rather a few seconds extra than was expected and when he did Vasudha tried to peer past him out of curiosity . As she tried to enter inside the room her brother stepped in front of her , in an obvious attempt to stop her from entering inside and to block her vision to look at his friend.
Without saying anything Rakesh grabbed the tray from her hands and this irritated her immensely but tamping down the frustration she said , " This cup is for your friend..." indicating to the one that she prepared especially for Pallavan. Nodding his head Rakesh stepped aside to close the door , at the same time Vasudha turned around to go back but not before darting a glance towards Pallavan , the broken look in his eyes caused a thousand sharp needles to pierce Vasudha's heart in that moment.
Before she could decipher what was going on , her brother closed the door firmly on her face. She slowly made her way to her room , but something nagged at her heart . Turning around she searched to see if her Amma was anywhere nearby , realising she was in the kitchen Vasudha tiptoed to her brother's room. Placing her ear firmly on the door she tried to listen to what they were talking inside .
At first she couldn't make out anything , slowly her brother's sharp voice rose a few decibels.
"... Her close friends feel that her falling in love with you was only to make that guy jealous in the first place , Pallava..!" Vasudha's heart broke at the mention of Pallavan being in love with another woman.
She knew that she had no right to feel that way towards him , they barely ever had a real conversation with each other. However , logic never applied to the matters of the heart... it is as if it has a mind of its own .
Swallowing the shock and heartbreak down forcefully she steeled herself to listen to the remainder of their conversation. "...I have come to know that she got back with her former lover , who now works at her own company . It .... lie from the start , Pallava ! Her overly shy .... soft spoken words , the way she behaves when ....in your presence... behaviour .... when you are not around... I tried to warn you... but you defended her and ... change my correct assumptions about her... Everything happens for a reason , Pallava ! Let her go..."
Vasudha somehow managed to listen to bits and pieces of their conversation but as she tried to listen more she heard her Amma coming out of the kitchen , not wanting to be caught eavesdropping outside her brother's room , Vasudha quietly walked back to her room.
Closing the door behind her , Vasudha's legs gave up beneath her . She slid down to the floor , she felt something trickling down her cheek , when her fingers touched her face she saw the tears flowing down without her knowledge . From what little she heard , Vasudha was able to piece together the fact that Pallavan was in love with a girl who apparently cheated on him with another guy. She didn't know why she felt bad for him , why her heart went out for someone she barely knew. Hugging her knees together Vasudha buried her face between her legs , silent tears flowed down her cheeks and the sounds of the lightning and rain pelting against the walls filled the room .
Almost six months went by and there was no news of Pallavan or what happened to him after that night . She clawed at straws to find anything at all about him but her brother was too tight lipped about his friend. One Sunday evening as she came out of her room after finishing her homework she saw her Amma lying on the floor unconsciously.
For a moment Vasudha didn't understand why her Amma was lying like that when she tried to wake her up , she barely moved . A lump formed in her throat looking at her Amma like that , " Appaaa... Appaaa....!" She shouted on top of her lungs , hearing her voice her Appa and brother came running from their rooms. Her Appa tried to wake her up but nothing seemed to work on her , she remained unresponsive meanwhile she vaguely registered her brother calling an ambulance . The next few minutes went by in a blur for Vasudha . The ER people lifted her Amma in a stretcher and rolled it inside the ambulance , when both her brother and Appa tried to get inside the vehicle , they indicated only one person was allowed come with them .
Their Appa got inside the vehicle leaving behind Vasudha and her brother , as the ambulance doors closed , she felt a part of her heart break down at that moment. Drenched in sweat and shock she heard her brother's voice as if coming from a faraway place. " Lock the house , Vasudha ! I will go and get us an auto so that we can go to the hospital.''
Saying this she saw her brother walking away , for a long moment she remained rooted in the spot , however she managed to pull herself together and did as her brother had told. Minutes later she heard the familiar sound of an auto coming to stop infront of their gate. Half running and half walking Vasudha got inside the vehicle beside her brother and they both reached the hospital. Calling his Appa where he was , both Vasudha and Rakesh hurried down a corridor of the emergency wing of the hospital.
Their Appa sat outside the Emergency Room , rushing to his side Rakesh asked his Father , " Did you get a chance to talk with the doctor , Pa? "
" No , Rakesh ! They just took her inside ...!"
Vasudha , Rakesh and their Appa waited outside impatiently for the operating doctor to come out , after what seemed like an eternity the doctor emerged from the room. " Patient Vithara's attendees ?" She heard the doctor call out.
Rising from where they sat , all three of them walked to where the doctor stood .
" Is my wife alright , doctor ?" Ramachandran asked in a quivering voice.
" The patient had an acute ischaemic stroke...!" Looking at their confused faces , the doctor cleared his throat , " Her sugar levels shot through the roof as a result of which she ended up having a stroke . We've revived her heart but she is still unconscious . We are shifting her now to the Intensive Care Unit , she will be kept on ventilator support . We are keeping her on some strong medications to dissolve the clots and we are trying to bring down her sugar levels but considering her age we are not sure how she would respond ..."
Vasudha barely understood what the doctor was saying , only that her Amma was in a very serious condition. Both her Appa and brother staggered back, unable to take in such huge shock.
The next few hours went by , her mind vaguely registered with the hospital staff shifting her Amma to another room. As all three of them sat outside the ICU , a nurse stopped before them. " Only one attender is allowed to stay with the patient , sir ! Please decide among yourselves and leave as soon as possible..." The nurse said in a clipped tone and walked away .
" I'll stay back , Rakesh ! Take your sister back to our home , you have to go back to the office too..." Rakesh tried to talk him out of his decision but her Appa firmly denied him.
Two days went by , and there was no improvement in her Amma's condition. Both her Appa and brother took turns to stay back at the hospital. That evening Vasudha sat on the front steps of her home , waiting for her brother to come back from his office so that she could give him the food she prepared to deliver it to her Appa at the hospital.
It was a very chilly evening , she pulled the shawl she wore tighter around her , she saw someone staggering towards their home . At first she thought it was Rakesh but as the guy tripped on the thick roots of their mango tree and fell down , unable to balance himself Vasudha ran to where he lay moaning and cursing in a strained voice. Reducing her pace she slowly walked towards the stranger , at first she couldn't make out his face in the dim evening light , as she bent down slightly to get a good look at the person she heard the guy moaning something in a small voice , "...ira!" "Mira...!"
Pallavan's deep voice shocked the breath out of her for a moment . She couldn't believe her eyes , for six months she had wondered what had happened to him , her innocent mind couldn't understand what made such a smart person to reduce into a mumbling clown . As she knelt beside him , the stench in his breath made it difficult for Vasudha to breathe for a second . She had never come across such a bad smell in all her life.
Somehow her naive mind tried to understand his predicament , deep down a small voice whispered that maybe... maybe he has become like this under the influence of alcohol and the realisation broke her heart into a million pieces. Memories of her first meeting him under the same tree flashed in her mind's eye . The twinkle she saw in his eyes , his charming smile all came back to her and made her eyes tear up , it flowed down uncontrollably and drenched her shawl . Sitting beside him Vasudha gently placed her hand over his forehead to push his hair that stuck his skin .
The moment her hand touched him she took it back frightened at how his skin burnt like hot iron and he shivered visibly when the cold breeze drifted past his sweat covered body.
Pulling his head over her lap , Vasudha gently stroked his head . She couldn't bear the thought that falling in love could break a grown up man like this , " Mira ... Mira..." She heard him moan the same name over and over again.
Piecing together all those bits and pieces of information , Vasudha figured that it must be the name of the woman Pallavan loved . Months of buried frustration of not knowing what happened to him and the reality of her Amma being in a critical condition in the hospital struck her like a sharp dagger to the heart. New hot tears started to flow down her cheeks , sobs wrenched from her throat.
Controlling herself , Vasudha spoke in a firm voice , "Open your eyes Pallavan! Look at me! You are stronger than this, do you hear me?? Gather yourself up man! This isn't the end of the world. Hurting yourself, drinking day and night and wasting your life away is not going to bring her back to you , you idiot! You are destroying yourself for someone who never loved you for who you are, someone who never cared about your feelings, someone who was not even worthy of the love you felt towards her . Let go of her Pallavan! Live your life man!
I know you are hurting but it will go away eventually ... You will come to realise the precious gift you are holding in your hands someday... Until then survive this life Pallavan! If not for you atleast for your parents , think about what they must be going through... For six months! Getting addicted to something just to forget someone... You are simply destroying yourself in the process , Pallavan! Just bury these memories or better yet burn them down, start your life again. Someday your life will change the way you want it to be, someday you'll strive to live your life for someone you care for the most , until then survive this life Pallavan! It's not everyday someone gets a second chance, you have it now , make use of it Pallavan!
I know I'm nobody to you! But try to understand the importance of what I'm saying... Pallavan! You have a whole life ahead... Don't you dare destroy it! I hope you are listening to what I'm saying... Don't end your life getting addicted to the devil... Look at me Pallavan... Open your eyes to the beautiful world around you...!''
Vasudha poured her heart out to him ,unable to bear the pain he was going through , she really wished her words would reach somewhere deep in his heart even in his drunken stupor.
Suddenly she heard the closing sound of the iron gates and heard her brother's voice calling out ,
" Vasudha ! How many times do I have to tell you ... Keep the gates locked ...!" Not wanting her brother to find her in that state with Pallavan in her lap , she slowly placed his head down and quickly stood up . Since there was a considerable distance between the main gate and their house , it gave Vasudha some time to compose herself . She waited for her brother to reach where she stood .
" Vasudha ! What are you doing out here in the cold...?" Before he could finish his words his eyes landed on the curled up guy near the foot of the tree , sliding a glance towards his sister , " Who's that guy ? How did he come inside..." He asked his sister angrily as he took a step towards him and before he did something rash , Vasudha managed to croak out ," Your friend , Pallavan !"
Hearing her , Rakesh stopped in his tracks for a second , he darted a glance at her in shock just to make sure he didn't mishear what she said . Her expression made him realise that indeed he heard her right , rushing to Pallavan's side Rakesh tried to wake him up . But all his efforts seemed futile , rising up Rakesh managed to pull him to his feet .
Putting Pallavan's hand over his shoulder , Rakesh slowly dragged his friend along with him , " I'll drop him back at his place , Vasudha ! God...! How I'm gonna pull him out of this mess ...!" Rakesh said the last part more to himself than to his sister. Slowly he walked along with his friend towards the gate , Vasudha stayed rooted in the spot staring at the retreating form of the guy who stole her heart without any effort on his part.
Three weeks went by in a blur and still there was no improvement in her Amma's health , since it has been so long in the ventilator the doctors started indicating to take her off of it if her health didn't stabilize in a few days.
One night she was surprised to see both her brother and Appa come back together from the hospital , " If both of you are here , then who is with Amma ?" She asked them.
" Pallavan offered to stay back , so that we could refresh ourselves... We have to go back as soon as possible...!''
Hearing his name as always unsettled her heart , as her brother and Appa sat down to have their dinner her Appa spoke , " Good news , Vasudha ! They have taken your Amma from the ventilator support. They said her vitals are stabilising but they are still keeping her on observation , hopefully we will bring her back home soon." He flashed her a small smile , after so many days she saw Appa's face light up in hope and happiness. Hearing that information brought some amount of peace to her wounded heart , but she just wanted her Amma to come back.
Turning his attention towards Rakesh , her Appa asked him , " Rakesh ... I didn't have the chance to ask you before , is everything fine with Pallavan ? For the last few months I didn't see him around ?"
Swallowing his food , Rakesh took a sip of water from his glass , taking a few seconds to think on his reply Rakesh slowly spoke up , " Well... He was going through something ! But he is doing well now , infact he is slowly coming out of his addic..." Deliberately clearing his voice , Rakesh continued " Everything is alright , Appa !"
He stopped himself from saying anything further about his friend. Nodding his head , their Appa continued eating his food. Even though all of her heart and mind's thoughts were around her Amma and her quick recovery , Rakesh's words about his friend did bring a small amount of happiness somewhere deep down in her heart.
After having his dinner , Ramachandran left for the hospital for the night to stay with his beloved wife while Rakesh stayed back at home. Vasudha tossed and turned around in her bed the whole night , suddenly she heard the landline ring in the living room. Before she could pick up the phone , her brother beat her to it. The call only lasted for a few seconds , without saying anything Rakesh put the receiver down and rushed inside his room. Putting on a shirt he walked towards the door , " I'm going to the hospital , Vasudha ! Lock the door after me...!" Her brother called out to her as he walked down the steps.
It was still dark outside , locking the doors , Vasudha curled herself on the living room settee. Deep down something kept bothering her , she couldn't figure out why she was feeling such heaviness in her heart. No matter how much she tried she failed to remove that foreboding feeling from her heart. As her eyes started to droop , the sudden sound of the calling bell jolted her upright .
Straightening her patiala suit Vasudha rushed to open the door , she thought her brother was back from the hospital but instead she came face to face with Pallavan. She looked at him curiously as to why he had come at this ungodly hour .
She saw him swallow hard as if trying hard to bring out the words past his lips , slowly in a gentle voice he spoke , " You should come with me to the hospital ... For the last time !"
It took some time for the words to sink in , once she realised the meaning of his words Vasudha felt the ground giving out beneath her , her heart stopped beating for a minute but somehow she stood her ground , she needed a moment to compose herself .
Nodding her reply to Pallavan she walked inside the house , taking in a shuddering breath Vasudha tried to calm down her raging heart . A million thoughts raced through her mind , she struggled to think about a future without her Amma , everything went blank for a moment but being the stubborn girl she is , Vasudha refused to give into her emotions . Keeping her tears in check , Vasudha took the duppatta in her hand , grabbing the keys she stepped out.
Locking the doors , she sat inside Pallavan's car , all through the ride to the hospital she remained quiet , she needed that silence to prepare herself to face the reality , her mind subconsciously registered Pallavan darting glance towards her every now and then.
As she turned around the corridor , she saw her Appa in a corner crying his heart out. She felt as if she had lost not only her Amma but also her Appa in that moment and it made the reality all the more cruel . She didn't know if she had the willpower to offer any kind of solace to her Appa and Anna , so she just opened the door and went inside.
Slowly she walked towards the bed , her mind screamed at her to run away from there so that she could turn a blind eye towards the reality in front of her , however she rebelled within herself . Coming to a stop beside the lifeless body of Amma , Vasudha raised her hand to touch the woman who walked along with her in every step of her life , every nerve in her body fought against her decision .
Pushing aside all those thoughts Vasudha gently touched her Amma's face. Instead of the warmth she craved , all she felt was bone numbing coldness , it made her flinch because she couldn't handle the pain it gave her. Initially all she felt was the sadness at losing her but slowly it all transformed into a red hot anger towards her Amma for leaving her all alone in the world , she felt as if her her Amma in her hurry to leave her life had stole all her hopes and happiness along with her leaving a shell of her old self behind.
Vasudha gasped to catch her breath , she heard heavy footsteps behind her , any more minute she knew she would break down completely , turning around she saw Rakesh and Pallavan standing together and looking at her with wide eyes.
She managed to put each step forward without losing her balance , stopping in front of her brother Vasudha tried to keep the tremble within her soul from being expressed in her voice " I don't want to be here , Anna ! I want to go home ... Can someone take me back !"
She knew her words and actions had surprised her brother and Pallavan but she was never comfortable with expressing her emotions to others . " Alright ! I have to be here to finish up with the formalities... Pallava will take you back !'' She heard her brother say , looking at Pallavan through her lashes Vasudha walked past the men.
A few minutes later she saw Pallavan catching up with her , again the ride back home was silent and torturous. It felt as if the route back to her house was extremely long . All she wanted at that moment was to be alone , to block out every depressing thought about her Amma , her life , her future and everything that reminded her of her Amma .
Only when Pallavan opened the door of her side of the car did she realise that they had reached their house . Stopping at the doorstep Vasudha tried to find the key to the main door among the bunch , the effort she put in to keep her grief at bay snapped and the keys fell from her trembling hands at the same time she saw Pallavan bending down to take the keys in his hand.
Opening the door , he walked inside before her , but Vasudha didn't dare to move her legs for she knew the moment she stepped inside , her heart would burst into uncontrollable tears. Somehow she sensed Pallavan's gaze on her , tamping down the sobs that threatened to spill out from her throat , Vasudha slowly walked inside the house.
The moment she entered the living room , all those memories she shared with her Amma , the laughter , the fights , the anger... Everything came back to her with full force and suffocated her . Anger and grief fought for dominance in her heart , she struggled to even out her breathing at the weight of reality and the room blurred before her . Helplessly she looked up at Pallavan , the pooled up tears in her eyes flowed down her cheek , in that moment she heard his comforting voice say ''.... Come here , Ammadi !"
Before her mind could process what was happening she was in his arms , for a few moments she stood within his embrace like a lifeless statue , when his hands tightened around her even more as if trying to protect her from whatever it was that frightened her., all the fears , frustration and tears she had held back for years broke out . She shook like a withered leaf in his embrace , her tears drenching his T-shirt .
Vasudha started to suffocate and she choked on her sobs , taking her face in his hands Pallavan pushed her wet hair aside , wiping her tears away with his thumb Pallavan tried to calm her down but again the grief hit her more fiercely , burying her face in his chest Vasudha tried to block out her mind's loud screams. Crying her heart out for a long time drained all her energy , she barely remembered Pallavan making her sit on the settee . She felt weak to her bones , when Pallavan sat beside her , she just placed her head on his lap and curled up beside him . The gentleness with which he stroked her hair helped her to quiet down her screaming mind and made her drift into a troubled sleep.
The next few days went by in a blur for Vasudha , during the entire time she wanted the ordeal to get over as soon as possible . However she managed to put on a small smile for the relatives who had gathered for the funeral so as not to make the time more gloomy as it were. As she looked at the pale face of her Amma for one last before lowering her into the pit , she saw her Appa break down viscerally on losing the woman he loved , she saw the tear stained face of her Anna whom she never saw tear up in her whole life , she also remembered how it broke Pallavan when the woman he loved walked away from him.
Vasudha's heart shattered to the core in that moment. She realised that she doesn't have the strength to bear the pain of losing someone she loved dearly once again in her life . She became acutely aware of the fact that loving someone always brought pain and heartbreak at the end and experiencing firsthand the destruction of loving someone , frightened her.
In that moment she decided to become immune to every emotion she would come across in her life and that meant destroying the love , care , kindness and affection she possessed in her heart towards the people in her life. She knew she would be able to do all of that but when her eyes landed on Pallavan she wasn't sure anymore , she was always unsure of her thoughts and feelings regarding Pallavan .
She didn't know how and when her heart started to fall for him but the affection she possessed for Pallavan was so pure , unlike anything she had felt towards anyone before in her life , too pure and precious for her and destroying that emotion meant sucking the very life out her and killing that felt as if she was committing a grave sin , one that she would never be able to wash her hands off. So she securely buried it deep inside her heart vehemently , not wanting to taint such an innocent emotion with her own darkness.
Life for Vasudha after her Amma passed away became very difficult. Her demise had created an empty void nobody could fill , her Appa became a silhouette of his previous self and her brother struggled to keep the family together. He took it upon himself to take the major decisions for their family , but along the way Rakesh started to force his decisions upon his sister , what course she should join for college , what clothes she wore , who she became friends with , where she went , how she talked , how she walked , even telling her the way she should laugh .... Never bothering to understand her wishes and desires. He started controlling every aspect of her life , sometimes his high handed attitude suffocated her , even when she tried to voice out her wishes he silenced her with his harsh words .
She knew her brother did everything keeping her best interests in mind , but it made her feel as if it was her brother living her life and she was just a mute spectator in it. Over the years , forced to abide by her brother's controlling attitude Vasudha needed a medium to vent out all her frustration and it all transformed into more bitter hatred and anger towards her Amma for leaving her behind , all alone and that hatred came back with vehemence at nights to torment her in her dreams. The nightmares were too painful for her to handle and her efforts to escape them in her sleep only made her hurt herself physically in reality.
Years went by , her decade long infatuation towards her brother's best friend slowly and inconspicuously transformed into an unrequited love but Vasudha didn't dare to look deep inside her heart nor was she ready to acknowledge it . She didn't get a chance to meet Pallavan after her Mother's demise , he completely stopped coming to their house even and in a way it helped her to hold onto her resolve.
Reconciling with her long estranged childhood friend did bring some amount of solace to her soul but it became clear that no matter how much ever she tried she would always have the feeling of missing a part of her heart and soul. Vasudha put her mind completely into her work , she saved all of her salary so that she could go somewhere abroad... faraway from her brother's controlling and high-handed attitude. She yearned to be away from the very place that haunted her with her Amma's memories at every corner she turned.
One night out of the blue she heard her brother and Appa discussing making plans to arrange for meeting with a potential groom that her brother had chosen for her. Hearing their conversation , fear gripped Vasudha's heart like a vice. Closing herself inside the safety of her room Vasudha searched her mind to find a solution to get herself out of a marriage to any guy her brother chose for her , she had already suffered enough , if not physically but emotionally and mentally. She didn't want to end up with a different version of the same fate at the hands of some other guy of her brother's choice.
However she couldn't just go out and demand that he drop the plans for her marriage ... No it was not that easy with her brother , even a small whisper of rebellion from her, he would just hasten things up and he would make the arrangements for her wedding the very next day just to prove his point that whatever he was doing , it was for her own good and also to feed a small part of his ego that , that he would always be the one to have control over her life.
There was also another deep rooted reason for her not wanting to marry any other guy but Vasudha didn't have the courage to even acknowledge that reason but it was also that very reason that subconsciously fuelled her to take a drastic decision for her future at that moment. Vasudha knew her brother ... Too much for her own good , she knew that any attempt on her part to have a rational conversation with her brother would be futile , as always it would fall on deaf ears .
So she raked her brain to find a foolproof plan to escape the fate someone else was about to write for her. She didn't care if her plan was on the verge of lapsing into insanity; she just wanted an out so that she could take in a peaceful breath of air. Slowly opening the door , Vasudha looked outside to see if her brother and Appa were still out , to her relief they had retired early that night . Quickly tiptoeing out of her house Vasudha went out to seek the help of that one person whom she knew would go along with her crazy plan.
Seeing his friend at such a late hour that too with a crazy look in her eyes , Sathish was shocked to the bones.
Once she was inside his apartment , Vasudha blurted out without any preamble , " You have to marry me , Sathish !"
Hearing her words , Sathish's first reaction was to jump back a few steps from her .
"What.... Have you gone mad , Vasudha? I have never seen you in that way... This is ridiculous..." Sathish struggled to say past his shock .
" No... No.. No... Sathish ! Listen to me ! It will be all make believe . Nothing will be real... You just have to pretend like you're marrying me ! Please ... Please help me , Sathish !'' Vasudha begged her friend.
Initially Sathish stood firm in his decision but when Vasudha tried to explain the reason behind her insane proposition , Sathish slowly understood how important his decision was for her and half heartedly he came on board with her crazy plan. Vasudha knew that if she was able to jeopardize her wedding the very first time , she had the upperhand in convincing her brother to give her some time to recuperate from the trauma and it would just give her the time she needed to get away from her family.
Convincing her Appa and brother to consent to her marriage with Sathish proved to be a tedious chore but somehow both the friends managed to convince them . It was all because of Sathish's smart moves , eventhough when he didn't completely approve of her craziness he rose up to the occasion and gave her his full support. Everything was going on smoothly according to her plan until the evening of her faux engagement...
The time came for Vasudha and Sathish to change the engagement rings , a customary ritual supposed to happen a day before the wedding . Somehow Vasudha felt a heaviness settling in the pit of her stomach , she felt bad for decieving all those people around her especially her Appa but she was too selfish to listen to the pleadings of her conscience . Her eyes slowly took in the people around her , suddenly the man beside her brother , tall and commanding standing a few feet from the stage caught her attention.
When she focused her eyes on him the very familiar rich brown irises held her gaze like a powerful magnet and it rattled the walls of the fort she built around her heart . She couldn't avert her eyes from him , she was seeing him after eight long years , at that moment it felt like a lifetime for her . The years had been kind to him , almost too kind ., her mind mused , for it gave an intensity to his strong features , the struggles and sufferings he encountered in his life made his eyes sparkle with wisdom . She noticed how the muscles in his strong arms flexed beneath his shirt , Vasudha doubted if he was the same lean guy she met in her Amma's garden . This man was nothing like the guy she saw eight years ago , he had aged like a fine wine over years she had not seen him.
The thoughts flashed only for a moment , but it threatened to shatter the very core of her being , quickly turning her head away , Vasudha survived through the entirety of the ceremony.
That night Vasudha barely felt like sleeping , years of carefully buried down emotion threatened to escape from its confines , however she forcefully pushed them down. Not wanting to be alone in a room that kept reminding her of Pallavan , Vasudha went to the terrace and begged her best friend to join her after waking him from his peacefull sleep. She wanted to do something , something to take her mind off of the thoughts about Pallavan so she ended up going over their plan for the next morning. After sometime of discussing everything Sathish pleaded with her to let him have some sleep , so they both made their way back to their rooms.
The next day , everything happened exactly as she had wished but instead of going to the airport Sathish knocked on her door. At first she threatened to kill him if didn't leave immediately but Sathish stood his ground and eventually she gave into his decision. She waited patiently for all hell to break loose and it did as she expected but what she didn't expect was Pallavan offering his hand in marriage to her .
Vasudha couldn't believe if it was happening for real , before she could come up with another plan to dissuade him he had already convinced her brother .When he demanded to talk with her privately she did make up her mind to refuse everything he was about to say but as he tried to convince her , a small selfish voice inside her kept whispering to fulfil that one lifelong wish of her's , one that she never thought she would have the chance to experience in this life . She thought what it would be like to give into her desires for once in her life and before she could realise what she was saying she saw him walking away asking her to call him by his given name as any other couple.
As soon as Pallavan left the room , Sathish came out , locking the door he asked his friend in an irritated tone , angered at her decision " What was that , Vasudha ? I thought you never wanted to marry anyone . Isn't it the reason why you dragged me into this crazy shit in the first place ?'' Sathish was sure that he understood her childhood friend but sometimes her decisions shocked him , she left him completely clueless as if he had not known her at all.
With a sombre expression Vasudha spoke in a sharp tone , " Let me explain to you , Sathish ! For now it might all seem calm , my brother sure would have taken me back to our home but slowly he would push me around saying that it was all my fault . He would say that I've destroyed my own future and for himself too... He would blame me for being careless and that I was not smart enough to make my own decisions for life. He wouldn't let go of this incident so very easily. He would twist the reins even tighter around me and by chance if he got even a whiff of me trying to go abroad while I'm still under his care he would force me to drop the idea stating that I'm incapable of looking after myself for I didn't even make the right choice in choosing a life partner. All this would happen if I turned down this offer... So I thought it over again and realised accepting Pallavan's proposal would only prove to be beneficial to me , I could get my brother and Appa off my back and I can peacefully go about planning my future..."
Silence hung heavily between them , Sathish couldn't believe how his once soft and kind hearted friend had transformed into this scheming , materialistic and cruel woman. Stepping closer to the girl he barely recognised now , he spoke in a wounded voice , " You know what Vasudha ? You can't just use everyone for your own selfish reasons... Nobody is worthy of such cruelty... As for me , I only went along with your plan because I knew what exactly was happening with us , but him ? What is his part in all of these planning and scheming ... He is innocent , Vasudha ! You have no right to destroy another person's life in such a selfish way ! It is a sin , Vasudha !! Robbing a guy of having a beautiful future with someone he would love , its the biggest sin you can ever commit in your life ... One you can never wash your hands off ! It will come and bite you in the ass , my Dear! Please don't do this , Vasudha ! I'm begging you , Please listen to me !" Sathish shook her shoulders to make her understand the seriousness of his words.
" You see , Sathish ! I was not the one who came up with the proposal . Did you forget ? We are not gonna get married for real ! Besides he didn't even bother to know my name in the first place , I strongly doubt if he was doing everything out of his gratitude towards my brother or just to become a hero in front of all these people... When the time comes I will walk away smoothly and there wouldn't be any trace of him ever being married to me !" Vasudha's heartless words once again made Sathish doubt everything he knew about her , he doubted if she had always been like this and her being kind and supporting during their childhood were all a well tailored mask.
'' What about hurting his emotions ? Breaking his heart ?" Sathish hoped atleast her ice cold heart would melt at this question but what she replied next shattered what little hope was left in his heart.
" Well , how am I supposed to take responsibility for something that I would never care for in my life, Sathish ! If he makes his bed , then he has to lie in it... If he gets hurt because of his own stupidity then he has to deal with it..." Vasudha's words made it clear that she was not interested in continuing the conversation any further .
At the same time they both heard someone knocking on their door , " Quick Now Sathish ! Go and hide somewhere !" Vasudha whisper yelled at him and walked towards the door.
Sathish felt his heart sink when he heard the high pitched auspicious sounds indicating that the groom had tied the knot with the bride. He cursed at himself for going along with her insane plan in the first place and also for not doing a job at dissuading his best friend from doing such a cruel thing to someone who knew nothing about her selfish plans.
She got married to the guy who secretely ruled her heart for years , but she didn't dare herself to revel in that feeling. She didn't want to shatter to pieces once again in her life , because she knew the consequences of letting her heart loose. She might have said things to Sathish as if she didn't care for him at all , as if he meant nothing to her. But only she knew how destructive her decision could be for her. Even as he drove them through the highways towards his home , she pretended to sleep beside him in the passenger seat , but in truth she just kept looking at him through her half closed eyes. Vasudha took the opportunity to drink in his features , to feed her starved soul until her eyes closed with heaviness for real.
Vasudha's love for Pallavan stemmed only from her own version of him , from her heart's preconceived notions of how a guy should be but she barely knew anything about him. Nothing at all about his anger , about his desires , about his favourites , about his character. Being her brother's best friend Vasudha thought that he would be just like her Anna . Infact ,she desperately wanted him to be like that. Because if he wasn't anything like her brother and Appa then it would become very difficult for her to walk away unscathed from her marriage to him.
But Pallavan shocked her at every turn , he was nothing like her brother. When she thought he would forbid her to go to work after her altercation with him the day she joined the company he worked for , he surprised her by gladly offering to take her along with him everyday to the office .
It was always ' Would you come out with me ?' and never ' You should come out with me !' . Even when they had unresolved misunderstandings between them , Pallavan made her know that no matter how angry and frustrated they were with each other , he would never stop caring for her.
Instead of taunting her for hurting herself at nights because of her nightmares , he was careful not to hurt her by mentioning her vulnerabilities.When he commanded her to shift to his room , even when his voice held so much authority Vasudha didn't miss how his eyes begged with her.
Even with small things like choosing the food , just because it was spicy for him , he didn't stop her from having it , instead he just suggested he would order something else for her if she didn't like it. During their most intimate moments , he always put forth her comfort first . Sure , he did lose his temper with her but it was only when Vasudha deliberately provoked him.
Never in the days being with her did Pallavan force himself into her life , nor did he try to make decisions for her , he gave her the space to do what she wanted to do and remained by her side like a silent shadow just to look out for her and to protect her . Pallavan made her realise that one could enjoy their freedom to live their life even after being married to someone . She didn't realise that she indeed had started to breathe freely in his home , with him by her side.
Over the years Vasudha worked ferociously to build her defenses , so without any conscious effort on her part she had been able to mask her emotions and thoughts from everyone around her and it was because of that defense mechanism had she been able to hide the love she possessed for Pallavan for the past three months so very easily. But now , seeing him sit on their living room sofa with his shoulders drooping and head hung with defeat , took her back to the night he came to her home broken and distraught asking to meet with Rakesh , when the woman he bared his heart to walked away from his life all those years ago.
To see him once again like that and to realise that she was the reason behind his heartbreak , broke her soul. Oh! she knew she would be hurting him , but she never realised her deception would break him to this extent until now. She could bear the thought of him accusing her , him being angry with her but never in the life of would she be able to bear the thought of him getting hurt by her , however she ended doing just that.
It was already past midnight , the distant lightening streaked past the tightly packed dark clouds of the night sky illuminating the darkened room every now and then. The cold air of the night made the scattered document papers to float between the two of them. The faint sounds of the thunder reverbrated through the walls of the room , mirroring the storm brewing inside the hearts of Vasudha and Pallavan.
Vasudha barely moved from where she stood , she saw her husband take in a shuddering breath , grabbing the coat he threw on the sofa beside him , Pallavan took out a white formal envelope from his coat pocket.
Gripping the cover in his hand Pallavan spoke , " I thought may be ... Just may be you gave me a place in your heart , even a small one. I thought you liked me enough to show me what is it that you have been hiding deep down your heart. But now I realise that I don't hold any special place or importance in your life. They say silence speaks more loudly than words... your silence tells me... your silence tells me that I don't even deserve to know the truth about our marriage..."
Wiping away the tears that blurred his eyes Pallavan looked up at his wife , throwing the envelope on the coffee table before him Pallavan let the words flow from his lips , " I don't know if the past three months meant anything to you , Vasudha ! But for me those were the most beautiful moments of my life. I dont't hold any power over your decisions , Vasudha ! And being you , I know forcing any decision upon you , would only make you fight me more... And I can't bear the thought of you fighting me.
That is your joining letter to the Australian branch of our company . Your passport , visa and every other required document is enclosed within that envelope and you are free to walk away from this relationship . You can leave anytime... I will be leaving for Coimbatore in the morning with Saravana for the next ten days. You would have enough time to pack your things and most importantly you wouldn't have to deal with me..." Pallavan thought that may be serving her the divorce papers would atleast force her to acknowledge her lies if not to let him know of what is in her heart but who was he kidding ! She just remained rooted to her spot , not even bothering to give an explanation on her part. Felt completely defeated Pallavan hung his head and tried to control the sob that bubbled up from his throat.
There would come a breaking point in every individual's life , one which would have the potential to change the course of their whole life . It was that point in Vasudha's life , he was offering her her much yearned and desired freedom and being the gentleman he is , he was giving her the space to walk away from his life without having to deal with any unresolved emotions. All the walls she built around her heart broke down to dust and pieces , the strong chains with which she controlled her emotions broke free in that moment.
Taking each step at time with trembling legs , Vasudha walked towards him. She knelt before him with a soft thud . Hearing the muffled rustling of clothes Pallavan looked up and came face to face with a tear stained face of his wife. Vasudha peered into his face , the momentary lightening showed her a bloodshot eyes for a moment , all the tears that she had held at bay forcefully flowed down her face uncontrollably.
Pallavan was capable of living with her anger , her hatred and her heartless nature but he realised in that moment that he would never bear to see her crying. Taking her face in his hands gently , he wiped away her tears with his thumb.
Tamping down the heart wrenching sobs , Vasudha swallowed the lump and forced her throat to work , " Do you really want to leave me ?" She asked her husband in a quivering voice.
" Oh God ! Nooo!! I wouldn't want that even if my life depended on it , Ammadii ! God knows what I wouldn't give to spend even a minute with you and if given a chance I will go and make the same decisions all over again just to be with you...!" Pallavan said in a thick voice.
" Why...?" Was all Vasudha could ask .
" Because I Love You , Ammadi...!" Pallavan said quietly to his wife..
Vasudha blinked back her tears and tried to come to terms with his confession , for years she let herself believe that he would always be out of her league and that it is nearly impossible for a guy like him to fall for her . But his words made her doubt her ears... if she had imagined hearing them.
" You Love Me?" She asked her husband in an incredulous tone.
Letting out a small tear stained laugh , Pallavan said , " I've been in love with you the moment I ... The moment I saw you under that tree in your Amma's garden. I've been in love with you everytime you stole a glance at me while I talked with your Amma . I've been in love with you when you felt bad for seeing me so distraught and sad on that rainy night . I've been in love with you the day I stumbled into your garden all drunk while you took me in you lap and cried for me , begged me to stop destroying my life. I loved you when I held you in my arms the day your Amma passed away... And I will continue to love you even if you don't feel the same way about me...!" Pallavan poured out his heart's contents to his wife and his confession shook her very core and her whole body started shaking unable to find a way to voice out her feelings to him.
Grasping the lapels of his collars Vasudha spoke past the thick saliva , " If you have loved me for so long , then how come you are ready to let me go...?"
'' Just because I married you doesn't mean you should be with me . But I will consider myself the luckiest person on earth , if you'll have me , Ammadi ! However isn't it what you have always wanted in your life ? A job abroad faraway from everyone ?? I'm just fulfilling yet another wish of yours ! I have given you all the freedom that you desired for in your life , Ammadi !" Pallavan stroked her cheeks gently.
" Did you know why I never wanted to get married to anyone ?" Vasudha asked her husband slowly. Nodding his head in denial Pallavan pushed away the loose strands of her hair that struck to her tear stained face. Pallavan saw a faraway look in Vasudha's eyes from the occasional distant lightenings behind them , her gentle voice floated to him like a soft breeze.
" I was just a teen when I first heard this guy's name from my brother , at first I thought what an odd name it was , like the name of ancient kings and princes. But as days went by and whenever I heard his name being mentioned in any of my brother's conversation , my heart would start to flutter against all my conscious efforts. I thought something was terribly wrong with me for obsessing over a mere name. After missing out on so many chances to get a glance of his face , I met him under the mango tree in my garden , just like his eyes his voice too remainded me of molten chocolate.
Unlike any other person I've met before in my life , this guy enjoyed having a real conversation with me. Slowly he became my Amma's favourite and suddenly one day he came home demanding to see my brother... I got to know that someone he loved broke his heart and the tears I saw in his eyes pierced my heart like sharp daggers. After that incident he was gone , for six months I kept on wondering to myself as to what might've happened to him and suddenly one day I saw him stumbling to the ground unable to find his balance in my garden.
The state in which I saw him shattered my already broken heart. I held him close to my heart... I begged him to come out of his memories of the woman he loved... I wanted to scream in his ears that I loved him and that I would keep loving him for the rest of my life...But I was too afraid to voice out my feelings towards him. And once again he disappeared from my life ! Years just went by , my brother started to find grooms to get me married . I couldn't bear the thought of ever becoming someone else's wife , for my heart belonged to that guy for far too long. Just when I thought I would never get to see him again , he came back into my life . And before I could catch my breath he whisked me of my feet like a knight in shining armor and made me fall for him all over again... '' She let out a shuddering breath and locked her eyes with her husband.
" Do you know who that guy is , Pallavan ?" Asking this , Vasudha inched closer to him.
Oh ! For how long he had waited for this confession from her , how long he yearned to hear her say that she loved him , but he never thought the love she possessed for him had been nurtured in her heart for over a decade.
Sliding to the floor before her , Pallavan wrapped his hands around her , shaking his head and laughing through his tears Pallavan said to her , " I think I know who that guy is , Vasudha ! And I know he is an idiot for not figuring it out sometime sooner. From what you said I guess you are giving him a chance to show you how much he loves you... I promise to never fall short on your belief in me , Ammadi !'' Pallavan spoke to her in his deep voice and Vasudha felt the rumble of his voice travel through her whole body and enclose her in a pleasant warmth in that chilly night. Tears started to blur Pallavan's eyes until it spilled out and ran down his cheek wetting his shirt in the process , Vasudha's fingers gently wiped them away not aware of the fact that even her eyes were blinking hard to see through the tears. Pallavan pressed his forehead against hers and whispered softly into her ears ," I Love You , Missus Pallavan !" Hearing his soft promise Vasudha buried her face in his chest , wrapping her arms tightly around him.
For a long moment they stayed like that , breathing in each other's scent and listening to the synchronised beats of their hearts. Suddenly , a thought crossed Vasudha's mind , " There's something else you need to know ... Our marriage , the marriage registration it was all fake ... So we are not exactly , truly married ...!" Vasudha told her husband pulling away from his embrace.
Tucking the adamant strands that broke free from her hairpins , Pallavan tried to control his laughter , because among the two of them only he knew about the second half of the deal he made with the Marriage Registrar . Keeping his tone as casual as possible , he said , " Oh! Our marriage is as real as any other marriage , Ammadi ! You don't have to worry about that , we truly are a married couple in the eyes of the Law!"
With a curious look , Vasudha asked her husband , " What are you not telling me ?" To which Pallavan gave her a playful laugh , " Some other time , Ammadi ! Now let me just relish this moment of having you in my arms !" Saying this Pallavan placed a gentle kiss on her forhead and pressed his forhead against hers. The sky let out a squeal and broke down to let the happy tears fall in celebration of the union of two destined lovers.
YOU ARE READING
Falling In Love With You
RomanceThis is a story about two strangers falling in love through the course of their married life...A love story between a plus sized girl and an sexier than thou guy who fall in love despite the differences in their caste , status and lifestyle... ...
