it was always her - billie eilish

figure it out as we go

quick writers note!!

my dumb ass forgot that i unpublished all of the chapters to edit and then did not re-publish it before i put up the newest chapter...ooooopsie. so if you read the last chapter and were lost that's why 😭 everything is up now

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arabella ends up coming home with us, a rare sight but once she had seen billie she knew it was best to come home. we pile into billie's car, i cant stop looking at the red lines scratched across her cheek.

"so guys what happened?" bella sits in the middle seat of the back leaned forward with her elbows propped up on the middle console. she was always ready to hear the drama, her favorite activity was listening in on the worlds craziest stories from her friends.

"did you post the video of us on stage?" i look back to her. i wasn't mad, that was a part of our royally stupid plan anyways.

"of course i did, it was on snapchat though. i didn't think she would see it, she's never on there." she leans back crossing her legs.

"well i'm sure she did. i don't even know how she got to the back but she was pushing me around and then went fucking insane on billie." i look back over to bil, her eyes glued on the road. she was one of the safest drivers i knew, so long as the speed demon in her wasn't around. "i'm just so fucking sick of her bella. she needs to let me live my life."

"i'll talk to her, but everything is okay right now. we have a good plan, let the both of you cool off and have you stay with billie so she doesn't show up to ours." she leans back forward leaving a small kiss on my cheek "did you win bil?"

"of fucking course i won." she smirks leaning her head back a bit to look at bella. "we are going to figure this all out, dahl. let us worry about it, okay mama?"

her hand wraps around mine, resting them on my thigh. we sit quietly the rest of the drive. i decide to go look through my messages, finding jinx's account and apologizing for disappearing. we'd plan to see each other again soon, maybe another show with thomàs. i decide to also update tom, leaving a message first about the band and running into jinx and then about the syd situation. bad news always comes last with us. he offers up a bed but i think it would be better to stay with billie.

once we get to the dorm we send arabella up first. she would make sure the coast was clear then bring me down some pajamas and anything else i'd need for the night. there's a growing pit of anxiety in my stomach, none of this was fair. i was cheated on, i decided to leave, and somehow i'm the one to blame for it all. eventually bella comes back down holding a bag of things. makeup wipes i'd forget to use, pajama pants, tank top, phone charger, and the one thing that told me she really knew me: a bottle of vodka, a shot glass, and a can of diet coke. perfect.

"i'll see you tomorrow." she pulls me in for a small hug "take care of her please." she looks to billie who nods then she's back up the stairs "oh and i'll let you know if anything happens tonight."

billie leads me back to her room opening the door and placing my bag on her desk. her fingers trace over the desk to her records "what are you feeling tonight?" she looks over her shoulder.

"play your stuff?" i smile "i wanna hear more of it. then i just wanna get high and lay with you. forget about tonight."

she smiles sitting on top of the table and pulling me over "cant forget the whole night. it was so magical before she got there, don't let her ruin it" her hand rests on my face.

"it was so magical till she came and scratched up your pretty face."

"i think i look pretty cool." she smirks a bit leaning to her side to look over the scratches in the mirror.