it was always her - billie eilish

a start to every story.

college and adult life had finally started to become somewhat routine for me. it was four months into my first year of college, and things had finally began to melt into a daily cycle. wake up, get ready, a few hours of morning classes, study, make it to whatever modeling gig i had for the day, and then finally, find one of the many college parties that would supply me with free alcohol. it was a tiring schedule, but i was used to it.

i'd started modeling in high school, gaining my fame once i'd finally began to receive traction on social media through the boom of tik-tok. it was a job i loved, though it was beginning to really weigh on me. my parents were the ones to reap most of the benefits of my success. my father and his wife had taken most of my earnings for themselves, they used the majority of it to pay off the house and other loans. from time to time they would use the extra income to take us on vacation, though most of the time it was a place i had no interest or say in. my step mom was never particularly fond of me either, it doesn't hold much weight now, but because of her my dad aren't on speaking terms. it was never said with words but i knew i had until graduation to save up and move out. i had turned eighteen early into my senior year, therefore having enough time to save enough to confidently apply for college and even eventually buying my dream car, a matte black lambo. as for my biological mother, i never knew her well. she was not very present in my childhood, and when she was around the memories were never particularly positive. throughout the last few years she has taken on the hobby of occasionally stalking me. through my social media presence and loose lipped family members she had easy ways of finding me. she had struggled through substance addiction for most of her adult life, and here and there decides she wants a relationship with me. i don't plan on allowing her to do so.

i hadn't made too many friends yet, nor did I really care too. i have my roommate arabella, and she's a sweetheart. closely resembling a gothic strawberry shortcake, with her ginger hair and mostly black and red color palette. we had no choice but to be each other's friends. i also had my girlfriend, syd. she was incredibly beautiful, this platinum blonde long hair, perfect nose, and striking blue eyes. she also happened to be one of my greatest stressors, it was your standard off and on relationship. we have been together for two, almost three, long years. she was the first and only person i'd ever loved. which, in my head, made fighting for her worth it, even if it meant sacrificing myself. about half way through our first year together, syd's family abruptly moved from l.a. to san francisco, after being evicted from their apartment. that's where syd met arabella. since then, they went on to apply and get into the same program here. though i'm not sure bell knew what she had coming
choosing me as a room mate. not wanting to fall victim to "living with your friend will ruin your relationship" stereotype, syd suggested that she room with me instead. that had meant bella had seen or heard about all the fights and arguments between us. she did her best to maintain the peace and not pick sides. when things were good, we all evened each other out, a perfect trio.

i'd finished my classes for the day, but hadn't found the motivation to get through the never ending discussion post replies or horrific amount of assigned textbook reading. that would be future dahlia's problem. i had two shoots to get to, anyways. since I was based in california there was always a huge variety of jobs, which meant i was always doing something different. my first job of the day would be for shop in the middle of west hollywood, it was a small but expensive business. then off to goodduck, an alternative shop that wouldn't dress me in todays worst fashion trend, but rather something a bit closer to my usual dark but clean look.

as i'm pulling a t-shirt over my head, both arabella and syd bust into the room, finally back from their last class. arabella quickly retreats to her bed falling into it with exhaustion, something that had started as a joke but as the weeks passed became a bit more serious. bella loved her dramatics. i look to syd who snickers at bella then smiles at me. she gently pulls me over leaving a small kiss on my cheek.