it was always her - billie eilish

spring break

time skip
university of california
march 24th

one month left. one month left and my first and perhaps final year of school was completed. things had finally settled down with syd and we were back on decent terms. we could be in a room together without all hell breaking loose, of course things were still tense but with arabella and her still being "close" i knew at some point we would have to be civil, even if the fact that arabella was still friends with syd hurt.

it was the thursday before spring break and we were counting down the days to bella's birthday. before the downfall of syd and i, we'd planned a trip to colorado. it was not the city part of colorado of course, but a random small town in the middle of nowhere. we'd rented out this homey cabin that overlooked a beautiful lake, and obviously a grand view of the mountains. the downside to our amazing plan is that syd also had a plane ticket and paid for her part of the cabin rental, and she was dead set on attending as well. seeing as i was now bringing billie, a plus one was also extended to her as bella saw it as "fair" and understandably less awkward for everyone. we left friday and would spend the week on the lake and exploring the great colorado wilderness.

my suitcase still sat at the end of my bed empty besides a bottle of sunscreen bella had put into it. i cant say i'm the most excited to go, seeing as my ex girlfriend would be in the room that shared a wall with mine, it all just seemed a little.. i don't know.. incredibly uncomfortable. there's something a bit off putting about willingly taking a trip with an ex to a secluded cabin in a new state. i'm sure i'd be fine though, i'm an over thinker, and in this particular instance there was plenty to over think about.

on a brighter note billie and i were doing really well. deciding on a slow burn kind of romance, we were holding out till summer to make things official. we both thought it would be better to wait as wrapping up a school year, both working full time jobs in the spot light, and also going through our first queer heartbreaks was hard enough. more room to grow leads for more room to have something healthy together. her music career was quickly growing and before i knew it her instagram followers had tripled, she was rapidly nearing her two millionth follower point before we knew it. i was unbelievably proud of her, watching her flourish in her art. my favorite part was watching her write, with new found success and confidence i had the honor of seeing songs flow out of her. a few times i even got to see her and her brother record them, i swear they are the hardest working people in the music industry, they put everything they have into every song.

with our flight leaving tomorrow i finally decide to pull myself out of bed and pack. i finish within the hour, cleaning up the room, and leaving arabella's present in her bed. she deserves princess treatment, so i got her a new necklace, a rose quartz heart with diamond embroidery.

before we leave in the morning, i slip out of my dorm making my way to billies room. music pours out from beneath the door, she was famously known for having the most noise complaints on her floor, i leave a soft knock before the door swings open. it looks like she'd also procrastinated packing til tonight.

she kisses me softly then spins around holding up two pairs of shoes "which ones do i sacrifice to colorado? which of these can i crease!?"

"oh no, i didn't even think about that! your poor sneakers!" i analyzed the two pairs in her hands "why don't you wear your boots?" i look to her closet, a perfectly good pair of black combats sat in a sea of high end sneakers.

"i don't wanna mess those up. i was wearing them the night we met." i could tell she thought she sounded dumb admitting it.

"then maybe we need to grab you a new pair of good hiking shoes before we leave?" i grab my keys from my pocket "wanna take a lil trip?"