The unsaid

Every single chapter

The ink on the paper is made of tears, with each word carrying a heavy load of goodbye. It's like a never-ending story of partying, and each letter I write becomes another chapter of our farewell.

Starting this piece is hard. I'm not so good at putting feelings into words, but here I am, trying again. It feels like I've been doing these things a hundred times before, each carrying a piece of my soul that just slips away. I have become some kind of writer of goodbyes, and I don't like it. I wish I could just write stories about us that never end, you know?

Do you remember that one moment? When we were talking about the future, all of a sudden I asked you, ''Can I be in your future? '' You told me, ''of course.''

Remember the first time we said goodbye? Back then, I thought it was just something temporary, like a see-you-later kind of thing. It turns out it was more than that. Goodbye became a word I never wanted to say, but it kept showing up in our story. Over and over again.

I wish I could tell you that goodbye is just a word, a fleeting moment in time. But each time I say it, it feels like a piece of me breaks loose and drifts away. Goodbye isn't just a farewell; its a collection of unspoken words I love yous, hidden in the spaces between the letters.

I would be sitting outside my room each night, pin in hand, underneath the moonlight, making these love letters out of tears, trying to put down the smiles we shared, the laughs, and the way your eyes squinted when you looked at me. Those letters were like my way of holding on, you know? trying to make the good moments last longer than those stupid goodbyes.

Each time I said it, it felt like a dumb joke. like I'm feeling someone's punchline, but there's no laughter. I would say goodbye, but really, what I meant was, ''I love you, and I wish I didn't have to let you go.''

Do you remember that time we sat outside the classroom? I looked into your eyes, just hoping to find some way to make the stupid goodbye disappear. My heart was screaming, ''don't go,'' but my lips just betrayed me, and out came that word that's been haunting me.

Goodbye.

I want to believe that this goodbye is just a temporary pause and that fate will bring us back together. But life has a way of rewriting our stories, and sometimes the ending is not what we hoped for.

I wish and wish every time that it was just a word, you know? just letters strung together. but it's become this heavy thing I'm carrying around. like a song that wouldn't stop playing, breaking my heart every time. I want to rewrite our story with words of love that never end. with chapters full of laughter and happiness, not this bitter taste of goodbye.

But then, I can't. And now, I miss you more than words can say, and every stupid goodbye feels like tearing another page from our book. All I'm left with are these bits, these echoes of our time together, and a heart that stopped loving you but still somehow feels the pain of long-gone goodbyes.

So, here I am saying goodbye again. I say it, but what I really mean is, ''Don't go, please, don't leave me.'' Maybe one day you will understand what I really meant. Until then, I'll be here, writing these letters with ink made of tears, hoping somehow you'll feel the love I had for you in every word.