Never be the same.

Six - Possibilities

Colin watched as Penelope walked away from him. Somehow he felt sick, like the out of his stomach was going to fall out.

They had some awkward goodbye and then he went in the opposite direction. He thought the best thing to do was to clear his head and have a smoke. He had cut down on the cigarettes recently, but the past 24 hours have been horrendous for his habit.

He stood outside on the balcony and overlooked the vineyard. It really was special. He always thought he was lucky, not only to have such a special family, but a special life too. He was blessed, but sometimes he felt guilty that he still bore a lost sense of self. He always imagined he'd have a secure idea of what his life would look like by the age of 25, and now being 27, that couldn't be any further from the truth.

As he stood against the railing, he heard the door close behind him.

"Hi stranger."

A voice said approaching him.
It was Lily.

Lily was thin, tall and beautiful. She had black hair and reminded him a lot of his previous girlfriends. She was a model, and well she looked like most girls of today's society. He never thought he had a type but he had went for everything opposite of Penelope his whole life. Maybe he was trying to convince himself of something.

She leaned against the balcony with her back towards the view and scooted closer towards Colin. She raised her hand to his arm and leaned over to kiss him.

He instantly pulled back. He didn't know why, but it was instinctive.

"Lil, I'm sorry. I can't."

Lily quickly removed her arm and stood back.

"It's that blonde isn't it?"

She quickly said in anger.

"No not at all, that's just Penelope. She's my sister's best friend."

Colin said trying to convince Lily and probably himself that it wasn't. But it definitely was.

"Jesus Colin. You are such a fucking prick sometimes. We've been sleeping together on and off for months, we agreed to a wedding hook up and now.. what? It's not on. Because you said so. Well let me save you the hassle... don't contact me. EVER. AGAIN. I leave tomorrow and I'll be blocking you indefinitely."

Lily said, well shouted and she jabbed her finger tip into his shoulder. She was angry. She walked away in a strop and he felt relief.

Colin didn't blame her. She was right. They had been sleeping together, and it was convenient for him at least, But he thought that she knew what it was. He had never protested that he was innocent but he did always tell her exactly what was going on. He wasn't interested in anything else bar physical contact. He felt a bit whorish for those thoughts. His mother would constantly refer to him as a "rake" whatever that meant. He never wanted to settle down, he had never felt strong feelings in these past four years. Even with Marina he had quickly realised his infatuation was love, it was sheer fantasy.

He stood firm another ten minutes just watching the moon rise against the back drop of Florence.

"Well brother, something has definitely shifted in you. What's going on?"

Anthony said while approaching the side of Colin. He pulled out a cigar and offered one to Colin. He declined. Cigars were never really his thing. That was more an Anthony and Benedict venture.

"Nothing brother, probably just adjusting back to normality."

Anthony smirked.

"Are you sure it has nothing to do with a certain blast from the past entering back into all our lives."