Choosing freedom ➳ Gally

Fevers

"You did this! All of this!"

She points the needle in my face as I stare at her tears in my eyes.
She was right. I caused them to fight. I caused him to strike out.

But I didn't mean it. I was just trying to help.
I tried to stay out the way.
She puts the needle down and starts to tear out the glass in my arms.

I try my best not to wince suppressing the tears she says makes me look weak.
But this is her way, this is her way of loving me.
I get hurt and she fixes me.

"You run around with all your foolishness! Over a boy-"

"He's my friend." I mutter keeping my voice low avoiding all eye contact with her.
"He's not a friend. He's a subject. That's all he'll ever be-"

"Yeah well at least he listens to me. Sometimes I feel like he's the only one who listens-"

"I don't have time for your childish acts. Or stupid rants. There's a war going on out this place and you want to talk about how you feel."

Suppress your emotions. Suppress your emotions.
Cry about it later you baby.
She's right. Your immature.

"No one wants to hear all the crap you say anyway."
She says finally bandaging my arm up in one of the rooms and I stare at one of the people they kept behind the glass doors.

Waiting for them to strike.
"I'm sorry about dad." I say to her as I get of the chair and then she sits down as I stare at the little blood running down her cheek.

The glass that cut through her. I grab the tweezers and pull it out.
"I thought talking to him would help-"

"Not when he's drunk." She scoffs shaking her head and I nod along as I take the glass placing it on the side slowly wiping her blood away.
We take care of each other.
Even when I think she doesn't need help.
She does.

"Like I taught you." She says and I nod dabbing the small wound. And I pick the small pieces of bandage placing them over her cheekbone.

"I know you don't think it but he does love us."
She says her voice instantly calming as she places her hand on my cheek and I don't know how to react when she does.

I never got a hug of her. Of any of them. No human contact. It was always given by him
I see the way she holds back her tears but one of them slips and I use my finger to wipe it of her cheek.

"It's okay to cry in front of me mom. You can't always be strong."
I see her smile. Her rarest moments she shared with me.

"You came out beautiful. Sadly none of my genes-"
"I have your brains." I bargain with a small smile and she cups my face with her hand.

"Your courage is the most special thing. Don't let anyone tear it down. Not even me darling."
I took every small note of affection she gave me because these were the rarest of the rare.

"I still hate that tattoo-"

"Rise and shine Blake."
I gasp at the sudden voice my eyes shooting open to look over by my hut door seeing Newt stand in the door way with Ben behind him.
And I grab my pillow throwing it over my face to hide my swear that drops down it.

I sweat a lot in my dreams. Even when it's cold outside. Like today.
"You good?" Newt asks taking a step further in the hut.

"Need a minute." My voice muffled from the pillow on top of me.
"Is she good." I hear Ben's voice realising he doesn't know what I've just said.