Choosing 13 | Johnny Kavanagh

chapter eighteen

Lilia

Stable people don't understand the concept of being broken.
They can think they are broken, what's it like to live in a world where you have to live on your own, but they don't know unless they live it.
That's my first observation of the Molloy twins when we arrived at their home for the first time.
We followed in Carden's truck to the house. Thank God we have the truck.

I didn't want to drive to this place, making small talk on the way. Being here is already enough.
The house is bigger than ours but smaller than some of the kids at Tommen. The front yard is bigger than our neighbourhood's and the grass is actually cut and not looking like it's dying.
I watch Aoife as she helps my twin brother with his bags, Kevin is helping Carden with Jacks' bags because I rejected him.

I go back to the back of the other car, "do you want help?" I ask Tony, Trish asked her husband to bring the rest of our stuff into the house.
Exhaling, Tony chuckles, "not a listener?" he observes, getting out Jack's buggy and my carrier bag of books.
Trish told me to go in the house to "make myself at home".
I don't feel like making myself at home in this house.
I nod, picking up the things and making my way to the house.

"Have you met Joey?" Tony catches up to me with boxes in his hands.
Basically hopping up the stairs to get to the front door. I shrug lazily, "smoking buddies," I say nonchalantly.
Tony pushes the door open with his foot letting me in and guides me into the kitchen, "yeah, you both have the same attitude," he tells me, slightly smiling.
Trish gasps and hits his chest, "Anthony!"

I shake my head, "not denying or disagreeing," I give a small smirk, dropping the things.
"I think we're going to get along just fine," Tony says before going back outside, leaving me and Trish alone.
Trish gestures to the stool, "sit, Lilia- Lilie?" she walks to the cabin to get glasses, "sorry, what do you want me to call you?"

I 'sit on the stool as Trish places a cup of juice in front of me, "Lilie is fine," I say simply, watching her make toast for both of us.
She stands in front of me when she finishes the toast, I tap my fingers on the table, waiting for her to talk.
I imagine this is normal for them, her and Aoife having a conversation about school, work, boys...
But it's so weird.
I know my mother loved me so much, I know she loved me because she... I don't know. Freya Grayson tried her best to be a mum but it wasn't enough. And now, she's dead.

We didn't have a mother-daughter relationship, no.
We didn't because she was working or loving her husband too unnecessarily hard, and I was taking care of her babies or high while taking care of them.
"Don't take them away..." I whisper, running my hands through my hair.
Trish looks puzzled by that, "what do you mean, lovely?" she sets her cup on the table.

I tilt my head to the side, "don't take my brothers away from me," I huff, bringing my leg up and hugging it.
I can see the faint smile on her face, "I admire you, Lilie Grayson," Trish says.
I scoff, "you don't know me." I deadpan. We're an inconvenience.
"You're right, I don't," she nods, "but when I look at you, I see a girl that is just living in a hard place."
It's just called being a human.

Trish sighs, "Kevin and Aoife, I love them so much," she laughs softly, it's pretty, "but Kevin is stubborn for his own good and Aoife... she has a big heart."
"She looks like a Barbie," I raise my eyebrows.
Trish laughs and shrugs, "they don't know what it's like living without their parents, they don't love each other like you love your brothers, they don't have to care for each other like you guys do."
I cringe.
Trish laughs.

But everything that she says is true, I would die for my brothers.
It's scary.
Aoife walks into the kitchen with a smile on her face, "Jacks is adorable, mum can I keep him?" she giggles.
I scowl, "no."
Aoife smiles brightly, "good call," she nods, "your room is ready, we put everything in it," I get up and follow her upstairs.