Choosing 13 | Johnny Kavanagh

chapter twenty five

Johnny

Two weeks since my suspension, and I'm shitting myself this morning. I made Gibs tell me everything on Lilie every fucking day.
Is it stalker-y? Possibly. But I just want to know if she was okay.
I could have texted her and asked, but it felt weird, I don't know.

Yeah, sure if Lilia fucking Grayson said we are fucking friends, we'll be just fucking friends. But friends don't stay mad at each other and almost fucking kissed because of it.
By Gibs' words, she wasn't at school half the time but when she was, she looked fine. Was smoking every lunch, late to school when she was in, I can think of many different things she could be doing.

I was walking up towards the main entrance of Tommen, when I heard someone shouting behind me. "Ey, ey, Kav is back!" My best friend slings an arm around my neck, as we both walk in the hallway.
I roll my eyes playfully, "missed me that much, lad?" I chuckle, nodding to people on the way.

Having that shit-stirring grin, Gibsie nods as we turn into the sixth year's common room, "yeah Cap, Hughie was sick of me two days without you," he says, both of us sitting on the couches opposite Hugh and Feely.
Hugh scowls, slumping into his seat, "because you can't shut up about this one girl that you saw at the bar."
"You were the only one that was there, mate," Gibsie argues back, hand in the air, "drew the short straw."

"Patrick is here," Hugh jerks a thumb towards his best friend.
Rolling his eyes, Feely shakes his head, "do not get me involved, please and thank you," he shows a sarcastic smile, going back to his homework.

I shake my head, smiling wide, "happy to see that you guys haven't changed," I drawl out, looking around the room.
A weird feeling of disappointment hits me.
I can only see Olivia Addams and Ethan Cole, studying per usual, and Harvey Grayson, making toast.

"Can we sit?" Alec Dempsey, one of Joey's mates, flops down on the spare couch between us.
Joey, his usual grumpy self, and Podge Kelly, red hair and the team's midfielder, follow behind. "Your point of asking, Al?" Podge sighs heavily, putting his feet up on the coffee table.
"To make us look nicer than we actually are, or some shit?" Alec shrugs, taking out a chocolate bar from his pants pocket and eating it.

Hugh snickers, "don't think Lynch is helping you out there."
Joey looks up from his phone and glares at my friend, but something else gets our attention.
"So... we are all going to assume that Grant Hayes is in love with you?" Lizzie nods intently, while walking backwards to us.

For a girl who doesn't smile a lot, Lilie chuckles quietly, "agreed," she laughs softly at Nessa, who is bright red and covering her face.
Nessa covers Lizzie's mouth with her hand, having a huge smile on her lips. "Fuck Liz," she mumbles, "just get your fucking thing for Patrick so we can get going."

Lizzie pushes her hand away, "I thought you wanted to come because Joe was here?"
Sighing softly, Nessa glances over at Joey, who is staring right back at her. She flips him off and he just winks back, making her smile and turn pink.
Lilie pokes Nessa's cheek, "you're absolutely adorable when embarrassed," she teases her friend, walking closer to us and not noticing us.

But fuck, I noticed her.
Looking gorgeous in her grandpa looking jumper, black skirt and black boots, she looks so pretty. Her green eyes are so big and bright through her glasses and her hair in a ponytail that shows off her face.
She stands out instantly in the room.
Not that hard of a room full of people in uniform, but I know she would still stand out from everyone.

Lizzie turns around to Feely, pulling out a folder and handing it over, "done my part," she sits down on the table in front of him.
Feely looks through the folder, a confused look on his face, "you done this, Liz?" his eyes flicked up at her friends, "she done this?"
Nessa rocks her head side to side, "yep," she nods, shrugging.

My eyes glance over at Lilie but she is heading towards the door, with someone I don't recognise, secretly hoping that it's just one of the lads.
Gibsie elbows me in the ribs, "talk to her," he nods to the door, basically shoving me off the couch.
Grabbing my bag, I jog out to the hallway, looking both ways until I see her again, leaning on a locker with... Jordan Pryers.

Blonde hair, brown eyes, tall legs and jacked, he's on the basketball team, big player and annoying as fuck.
I walked up to them, standing beside both of them.
Arms crossed and still leaning against the locker, Lilie looks at me with an eye roll, "what Kav?" she says, annoyed in her voice.
"Who's your friend?" I ask just to piss her off.

She groaned, dropping her head back, "why?" She stands up straight.
I blow out air from my mouth, bouncing on my feet. "Prin-"
She shakes her head, pulling off the lockers and speed-walk past me but I follow her in two strides, "fuck off, Kavanagh," she grumbles, turning into outside.

"Lils," I say firmly, standing three feet away from me, "can I just... can I please apologise?" I plead.
Her body is still, she doesn't move or look back, just stands there like she is frozen in time.
I frown, taking a couple steps closer, "I'm sorry, Lil," I plead, "I am really sorry for that night-"
She turns around, tears slipping down her face, "but I need help, so thank you for your input." She gives me a sarcastic smile and a thumbs up.

I shake my head, my heart beating so fast, "that wasn't what I meant," I shove my hand through my hair.
Lilie scoffs loudly, "seems you were implying something," she raises her eyebrows at me.
"I was drunk," I say, because I don't know what else.
She rolls her eyes, "of course you were!" She runs her fingers through her hair in frustration, "how many drinks did you have?" she suddenly asks.

"Five... eight max!"
She sighs, looking away and back, "why are you talking to me?" Lilie scowls, her arms crossed.
"I..." I struggle to think of anything except "I want to know you're alright", but clearly she's just living her best life, "why are you like this?"
"Like what, Kav?" Lilie sighs.

Shrugging my shoulders big, I groan, "isolating yourself, Lilie!" I yell, "you act like drugs and alcohol are the only way to stop your pain, but if you don't talk, you have no way out."
She shakes her head repeatedly, "you don't get it," she tells me, her face softening but still scowling.

I reach out with my finger and thumb to her chin, making her look at me. "Make me get it," I say softly, bending at the knees, "I'm not going anywhere."
Tears fall down her cheeks, she pulls away slowly and gently rubbing my hand, "I can't do that," she shrugs shakily, stepping back.

"Lilie..." I whisper softly, "I promise you, I won't let anything happen to you," I ressurre her, nodding.
Her eyes turn glassy and her hands start to shake, "I don't actually know that," she says with so much confidence that maybe I believe it.

"But I won't, Lils," I say, because I need her to believe it, "we're friends now, friends help each other."
She sniffles, "I end up hurting mine..." she adds.
I shake my head, frowning lightly at her, "you can't hurt me," I promise her.