Choosing 13 | Johnny Kavanagh

chapter thirty nine

Lilia

Oh, fuck him.
How does he know— Why does he know?!
Yeah, I took two lines this morning and another one when I got to Ethan's, but I needed something to numb my brain from the rest of itself.
It's not even any of his business?!

I hate that he could tell that I did drugs, hate that he didn't follow Joey and Shannon, hate that he stayed with me, hate that he was concerned about me because he fucking noticed.
He asked me if I was okay and I'd bitched.
I hate that he gave me things in my body and I kind of liked it.
Who does that and why am I feeling these fucked feelings?!

What a slut. His voice sneers.
Piss off. I tell it—
"Lilie Grayson," Libby shakes my arm, grabbing my attention, "where did you go?" She goes back to the eggs in the pan.
Nessa snorts from the other end of the island in Ethan's massive kitchen, "probably somewhere between a 6'4 brunette and the number thirteen," she quips, grinning.
Currently, we are, and I mean Liv, making brunch for the house.

Ethan's parents (fuck them) fucked off somewhere in Europe, leaving E on his own with his three siblings and his twins.
And this morning, he asked the group for help, which Kenji, Lib, and I came and helped with getting the shopping done. Then, Nessa and Josh came here half an hour ago because Nessa had to take her dog to the vet, so they would come here after.

Liz is on her way with Weston because they slept in, Harvey is at a brunch with Will, his family and Trish and Aoife, and I haven't spoken with Sof since my birthday.
Shaking my head, I flip her off, "Ethan Cole, the gossiper," I deadpan, as the lad strides in the room just coming back from putting Posie in bed for a nap; I don't like how relaxed he looks. "Who would have thought, my people," I give him an arrogant smile.

"C'mon, princess," he says mockingly, opening his fridge and searching the shelves. "Don't be bitter, you have an interesting life."
I shrug nonchalantly. "Yeah, I know. But you don't have to be Gossip Girl on me."
The sound of PAW Patrol's theme tune fills the room and then quickly fades again, a second later, Josh is sitting on the stool beside me and Kenji goes to the cupboard to get a bowl.

"Haven't killed them, have you?" Nessa says suspiciously, peering up from her phone.
Josh gives her a 'really' expression, reaching across me to grab a chocolate chip cookie.
Ji scoffs, grabbing cereal under the island, "why would you think that?"
Ethan comes out of the fridge with a protein shake, "you two did come in here silently."
"But Josh is always silent, though?" Libby points her spatula at him.

Josh raises his eyebrows, "because yous don't shut up, ever," he says defensively.
I chuckle, turning my phone repeatedly on the island, "he's got a point."
"Piss off," Kenji takes a bite of his food, "where's Bennett anyway?"
Liv plops another pancake on the stack before replying with, "your boyfriend is on his way, don't worry KJ."
"Yeah, darling," Ethan pats Ji's head mockingly, "don't worry." We all let out a laugh when Kenji elbows E in the ribs, hard.

"Motherfucker," Ethan wheezes out.
Kenji shrugs, "dickface."
"They're all sleeping by the way, except for Emory, Theo and Alfie," Josh informs the room.
"Okay," Ethan slaps his hand on the island, "back to our Lilie girl here-"
"No," I instantly glared over at him.
Nessa throws a piece of chocolate wrapper at me, "shhh, I want to hear it."

I roll my eyes, "no," I look back at Ethan, "you did not see anything."
The shit grins cocky, "so, did you or did you not text my captain?"
On the car back here, I was debating whether to text Johnny an apology or to apologise to him in person, making me just stare at my phone the entire car journey.

And being in the driver seat, Ethan leaned over to see the screen and he held that information hostage to attack me.
I toss my hair behind my shoulders, "not discussing Kavanagh with any of you."
"Because there's no deal," Nessa nods fanatically, throwing my earlier words back at me.
I roll my eyes, placing my elbows on the island and propping my face in my hands, "yeah," I smile tightly.
"Or Lilie is scared of love," Josh suggests dryly, taking a slip of my apple juice.