Time After Time

Chapter 26: Easier Said Than Done

31 August 1964

"Are you sure you want to proceed with this?" Brian Epstein sat on a velvet padded chair in a hotel bedroom, clutching a pen in between his fingers.

The room was eerily quiet, except for the muffed sounds of the television coming from the adjacent room, where the rest of the group was amusing themselves. His gaze fixed anxiously on John, who sat on the edge of the bed, cigarette dangling lazily between his fingers. John's eyes were fixed on the floor, lost in contemplation, as he smoked in a steady rhythm.

Brian cleared his throat, "John? If you're uncertain, then..."

John quickly interrupted, "I want to go through with it, but I don't want anyone to know about this yet. Not a word to Macca, ya hear?"

Brian exhaled heavily, jotting down a few quick notes on the paper before him, "I think it's best to hold off on any official announcements or actions until after the tour," he suggested, his lips forming a tight line as he placed the pen down. Brian sighed, scribbling a few notes on the piece of paper in front of him, "Does Lacey know you're going through with this?"

John shook his head adamantly, sitting up straight as he took another drag of his cigarette, "Are ya mad? If she found out, she'd try to talk me out of it," he said with a smile at the thought of her, "I love her too much to put that on her. I don't want her blamin' herself or anythin', ya know?"

Brian's smirk faded as he stood up, folding the paper and tucking it into his jacket pocket, "Do you realize the impact this could have on The Beatles' reputation?" he asked, "I recommend speaking to Cynthia about this. She deserves to know about your plans for a divorce."

As Brian swung open the door to the main suite, John's eyes were drawn to Lauren in the adjoining room, absorbed in a book. A soft smile tugged at his lips as he watched her, a sense of certainty settling in his heart. He knew he was making the right choice and that he genuinely wanted to be with Lauren.

After Brian departed, a wave of guilt washed over John as he struggled with his decision. It weighed heavily on him it would hurt Cynthia, especially considering their shared history and their son, Julian. However, deep down, John knew his happiness was at stake. He realized that he could no longer fake happiness in a marriage where his love could not be wholeheartedly returned.

Based on remarks Lauren had made during his time in New York, it appeared that John's relationship with his son was strained and his departure with Cynthia was complicated. This realization stirred a desire within him to mend these broken bonds. John was determined to communicate his intentions with Lauren openly to Cynthia and to take responsibility for financially caring for both her and Julian.

"Neil," he called out, still standing at the doorway of his bedroom, motioning a finger to him.

At the sound of his voice, Lauren placed the book on her lap and observed as Neil promptly rose from the sofa. Without hesitation, he made his way over to John.

John leaned close to him, whispering in his ear, "Ring up Cyn for me, will ya?"

A noticeable shift in the room's atmosphere was evident, with tension etched on their faces. The others in the room seem preoccupied - Paul strummed the strings of an acoustic guitar, lost in his own melody, while Ringo and George engaged in a card game on the floor. 

Spending a considerable amount of time in that room, Lauren couldn't help but notice the change in John's demeanor even before he and Brian left to converse. Despite her attempts to snuggle up to him on the sofa earlier, John seemed distant, pushing her away. Concern crept into her thoughts as she wondered if she had unintentionally said something to upset him. As John requested to speak with Brian, she observed his troubled expression, prompting her to feel the need to understand what was bothering him, even if she was hesitant to pry.