"So what..?" || Kevin Álvarez

||5|| Winter Festival.

    "You gunna answer that?" A part of me was hoping he wouldn't.

     Kevin takes in a deep breath then turns to look at me. My chest is still heavy from the twinge of guilt I feel for my slight moral decline.
     He shakes his head. "No, let's keep walking."
     "Why not? It's your wife?" I hope my tone is convincing enough. I should not be this upbeat right now.
     "She usually calls just to yell at me," we take a turn and I can see the festival at the end of the street. "I'm trying to have a good time with my friend. I don't want her to spoil it."
       "Ah, okay, yeah i get it." I start processing what he just said. "Wait- she calls just to yell at you?"
       He shrugs. "I've got used to it over time. It's usually worse when she's anxious about something."
       "Is she anxious about something right now?" I ask.
       "About someone." We're almost at the festival entrance.
       "What? Who?"
       "Okay is this how you feel when I ask questions?" Kevin chuckles. His hands are in the pockets of his black hoodie.
       "Yes." I start walking faster the closer we get. "But, I said it was my turn to ask questions didn't I?"
"Yeah you did." Kevin sighs with a small smile.
We finally reach the festival entries and get in line. It wasn't that long so we didn't have to wait too much. I watch as Kevin hands over the money for both our entries and the unlimited wristbands. I feel guilty that I'm letting him pay for everything. I also don't like to owe people and this is basically putting me in debt. I follow Kevin as he walks toward a small bench. He sits down while he fiddles with a paper they gave him.
"Why the long face?" He finally figures the paper out and reaches his hand out to grab mine. My breath hitched a bit at the sudden warmth. He starts wrapping the band around my wrist.
"I feel bad for letting you pay for everything." I frown. He finally finished tying it after struggling for a bit.
"I told you already, this is all on me." He grabs the other wristband and gives it to me. Then he holds his hand out for me to help.
"I know but-" I finish tying the wristband way faster than he did and drop his hand.
"If you feel like you owe me; make it up to me by having a good time, yeah?" He stands up and looks down at me.
"That's not real payment." I protest but I'm slowly starting to feel a little better about the situation.
"Well it's the only payment I'll accept" His smile turns into a smirk. He turns and cocks his head. "Come on let's go skate."
I pout at his stubbornness but eventually follow after him. I'm trying my best to shake off any feelings of guilt and just have a good time. I was finally at this festival. There were people walking around a having a good time. The sky was darker now but the lights lit up the area. There were rides, games, and food stands. It was more of an event than a festival but I am never too sure what to call these things.
We get to the skating rink and I'm relieved to see that it wasn't very full, but it was quite large. Me and Kevin get our skates on and he steps into the ice first.
"It's not that hard, I'm fine if I don't move too fast." He waited for me.
I scoff and roll my eyes. "Speak for yourself. I've personally never done this before."
"Think of rollerblades— but on ice"
"Never been on roller blades either" I let out a nervous chuckle.
"Oh my god y/n." He laughs lightly but I think he's trying to hide the slight nerves. "Well are you just going to stand there?" He skates closer to me at the entrance and one of his hands hold the railings.
I bit my lip apprehensively. I stared at the ice for a moment. I've wanted to do this for so long but I was worried I would embarrass myself in front of Kevin. "Hold on I'm mentally preparing." I close my eyes and take in a deep breath.
Kevin laughs. "You think too much."
I gasp as I feel him pull me onto the ice. It feels as if my legs become useless on the slippery ice. The blades feeling awkward under my feet. I immediately loose my balance and almost fall forward if it wasn't for Kevin. "Fuck- oh my god-"
Im gripping onto Kevin's arms now, afraid I'll fall. I lean into his chest and I'm basically pushing us back. I look up and Kevin is laughing.
"It's not funny!" I pout in protest. I would be laughing too if it wasn't for the fear of an unintentional split if I move too much.
"Yeah it's not- your digging into my arms!" He keeps laughing none the less. He's partially carrying me. "Relax, Y/n" His laughter calms into a chuckle and I try my best to stop digging my nails into his hoodie.
"I'm trying-" I attempt to get my legs to work but it's useless.
"Try to straighten up," In the split second it takes him to move his hands from my grip to my hips makes me panic and grab onto his shoulders. He pulls my hips forward slightly to fix my posture. "If you're leaning forward too much how do you think you'll fall."
I let out a breath and my eyes are slightly wide. "Forward" I mumble.
"Exactly, a little lean is fine but don't loose your balance."
I nod and try to keep straight. It's easier said than done, and I'm still holding onto his shoulders. He reaches for my hands and takes them off him, but keeps hold of one and skates by my side now. I wobble because im still unsure how to move.
"Move one leg after the other but try to propel yourself slightly different than if you were running."
       I do my best to follow what he says but it's more like baby steps than anything else.
       "Holy shit I'm kinda doing it-" I look at Kevin with a smile. I feel proud even if I couldn't be any worse at walking on this damn ice.
       "Yeah see it's not that hard" He keeps a secure hold on my arm now to help me balance.
       "I'm still barely moving though" I remind him. Our steps get a bit bigger.
       "You think you can stand on your own yet?"
       Oh right, I've been clutching onto this man like my life depends on if for a while.
       "Yeah, I can try" I reply
       I wobble in place but am able to balance on my own for the most part. Kevin's eyes haven't left me since we got on the ice but I'm assuming it's just him being careful I don't fall. I look up at him excitedly looking for approval.
(T: look at you, and here I thought you'd bust your ass on here)
    "mírate, y yo aquí pensé que te ibas a partir la madre" He teases and starts to go faster.
    "excuse me? I did not look that hopeless," a hint of sarcasm in my voice. I start moving my feet faster trying to catch up to him. To my surprise it's kind of working.
    "yeah you did, I was starting to worry I was going to need a new assistant." His tone was teasingly sarcastic in a good way. He was more relaxed now that I wasn't in risk of falling so much. He still kept his eyes on me. I decided to focus on the ice for now.
    "ha ha so funny." I return his sarcasm and roll my eyes. I could keep up with him now but there would be moments in which I wobbled and him— being the closet around— was the thing I gripped onto for support. All he would do in response was chuckle and let me hold on. He kept the conversation going regardless.
    It seemed to have become increasingly colder as the minutes passed by and we found ourselves shivering. Being on ice wasn't helping.
    "How about we go find something to warm to eat." He suggests with a slight shake in his voice.
    "Yeah I'm freezing." I nod enthusiastically and begin making my way to the entrance, which wasn't too far off.
    Once off the ice rink and in our own shoes we begin to look for some food. There were many food stands with a variety of food but me and Kevin bickered between who should pick what we eat tonight. As we walk, still arguing, he suddenly grabs my hand and turns us around.
    "y ahora pa donde??" I ask confused. I refocus to see where he's leading me to and see it's a small store.
    "You're freezing, I'm going to get you something to help you warm up." He says casually.
    My jaw falls open slightly. What? He can't do that. Can he? Is this more debt.?
    We enter the small store and get immediately hit with warmth and the smell of scented candles. The lighting is warm and a small old lady sat at the register. She gave us a smile as we walk in.
    "Kevin! No, you're doing enough for me today!" I protest quietly. I try my best to look mad but my tone betrays me.
    "Look at this beanie, isn't it nice?" He holds it up for me to see and completely ignores what I said.
    I look at him and sigh once I see he won't give up. Then I look at the beanie he's holding up. It's a baby pink color with a complex knitting pattern and a white pompom on the top.
    "it is kind of pretty actually.." I respond. Kevin smiles and places it on my head. I look at him as he steps closer to adjust it. Why do I always find myself so close to his neck?
    He steps back and nods. "Yeah it is pretty."
    I start feeling self conscious and look away. I take it off and look at the other color options. There's a black one with the same design as mine. I pick it up and show it to him.
    "If you're getting me something buy one for yourself too. You aren't exactly immune to the cold either" I hand him it and he takes it in his hand to look at it.
    "Okay cool, we're matching now." He nods in approval and grabs my beanie to take them to checkout.
He's actually buying it??
    I follow him out the store and put on my new beanie. It was so soft and cute I honestly loved it.
    "So what do you want to eat?" He asks.
    I roll my eyes. "I already told you I don't care, you pick"
    "This was all to make your headache feel better so you choose."
    "Well, you did a pretty good job because I don't have it anymore, you deserve to pick." I just really didn't want to pick out something he wouldn't like.
    Kevin frowns and looks around. "Fine, do you like tacos?"
    "Are you serious?" My face softens.
    "You don't?" Kevin says quickly.
    "What makes you think I wouldn't?" I laugh and I'm happy I didn't have to pick our dinner.
    "oh- we'll just look for a taco stand then." His face also softened.
    we looked around for a taco stand for about half an hour but nothing. There was somehow no tacos in this whole festival. We also didn't feel like eating any of the other festival food.
    Me and Kevin complained as we sat down in the nearby cafe we decided to settle for instead of tacos.
    "Man I was starting to look forward to those tacos" I whined.
    I sat across from him and pouted. He didn't look as upset as I was about the tacos but still annoyed none the less.
    "Yeah me too" He pressed his lips into a thin line.
    The waitress came for our orders quite quick. It wasn't busy since everyone was at the festival and it was also pretty late. Almost nine thirty pm. Kevin's phone suddenly goes off with a bunch of messages. Ring after ring they wouldn't stop.
    "oh my god?" I'm honestly surprised someone could type so fast. His phone buzzing on the table uncontrollably.
    Kevin groans. "It's Violeta."
    "oh. Why don't you respond? What if it's something serious?"
    "No, she's done this before too." He shakes his head and sighs.
    "For no reason?" Am I being too nosy?
    "yeah." His tone is soft again but he's looking at the phone with an unreadable expression.
    I furrow my brows. I watch him turn his phone off completely and put it in his pocket. We're silent for a couple seconds before I find the courage to finally ask. "Is everything okay..? With you two, I mean."
    Kevin looks up at me. He's not really smiling but I can tell he's trying hard not to let the wrong expression slip. I do it too. "Can I be completely honest with you, Y/n?"
    I nod and fiddle with my fingers apprehensively.
    "Me and Violeta don't exactly get along." I can tell he is holding back from saying any more because he's looking down at the table instead of up at me. I also have to hold back from reaching out for his hands.
    "Can I ask why?" I let out an awkward chuckle. I wasn't exactly sure how to comfort someone trying to open up.
    "Well-" He begins but is instantly interrupted by the waitress brining our orders. He starts again after she finally leaves. "Her and I are completely different people." His head shakes and examines his coffee.
    I accidentally let out a small laugh. "Then why'd you choose to get married?"
    "I didn't."
    My laugh stops abruptly. My eyes widen and my lips part in surprise. I don't know what to say and look down. Fuck what do I say? Did I make this awkward? "That makes two of us..?" I ask with a unintentionally strained voice. I tried to take the humor route but accidentally end up things worse. I let out a nervous chuckle and burn my tongue when I drink my still hot coffee. I wince.
    "What?" Kevin looks at me. I can't read his face. God I have horrible intuition.
    "What??" I reply back. "I'm just saying I didn't exactly have a choice either."
    Kevin leans back. "Oh well I guess we have that in common."
    We're silent for what seems like forever. I take a lot of sips from my coffee despite burning myself.
    "Do you love him?" He asks suddenly.
'what sane person asks a, seemingly happy, married person if they love their spouse?'
    I thought back to the question I asked myself.
    "Do you love her?" My voice is less shaky now and I'm leaning forward.
    "I asked first"
    "You agreed it was my day to ask questions." I smile when I finally notice his look isn't one of an irritated or offended person.
    "shit your right" He rubs the back of his neck with his hand. "Uh.. well how much can you really love someone you were arranged to marry." It's a statement more than a question.
    "it's possible I think, my parents love each other I guess." I shrug. I'm finish drinking my coffee but his is still full.
    "It's possible for them, but is it for you?" His eyes narrow.
    "It's my day" I emphasize the word 'my' so maybe he'll get it through his head and stop asking the questions. "Was it possible for you?"
    "no."
    The guilty feeling returned to my stomach when I watch him make the payment and leave a tip. He didn't even drink all his coffee. I didn't say anything until we were walking back to our work building—we left our cars there— I was afraid I would say something and make it worse.
    "hey, why the sad face?" He nudges my shoulder. His face wasn't as hard to read anymore. "So quiet." He gives me a soft smile.
    "it's nothing... I'm sorry if I ruined your mood though.." I coincidentally find the pebble I kicked on our way to the festival and kick it again. Harder this time.
    "No you didn't? Why would you say that?"
    "I don't know, you seemed more down after our talk at the cafe."
    He shakes his head. "That wasn't your fault. It was more her fault for spamming my phone like that."
    "You sure?"
    "Yeah, positive."
    I sigh and see the little steam cloud come out my mouth. My feet were almost numb from walking so much in the cold but I didn't mind. Besides in the end, I had an amazing time at festival. We reach our cars in the dark parking lot of the building. Not many were around and the only dim lighting came from street lights and the few lit windows from the building.
    "I had fun today." He opens the door for me. I get in and he close it after. I roll down my window just like I did last time he walked me into my car.
    "I did too," I turn on the engine. "And, thank you so much for everything." I give him a genuine smile.
    "You don't have to thank me." He looks into my car. "Can I borrow your phone?"
    I raise an eyebrow but reach to hand it to him anyways. "Okay but why?"
    He grabs the phone and starts typing in a number. He calls it and his own phone rings. I realize what he's doing. "I just wanted to add you to my contacts."
     "Ohh"
     He cuts off the despacito ringtone when he hangs up and hands me my phone back.
    "You get home safe okay?" He reaches out a pushes a strand of behind my ear. He says it in that soft tone I inexplicably love and looks into my eyes.
    Light blush covers my face. "Yeah- You too-" I'm so glad it's dark out. He pushes himself off my car window and waves bye as I pull out the car. He turns around before I can wave bye back.

——

NO CUZ WHO TOLD ME TO MAKE THIS 3k WORDS💔
anyways today I'm feeding u a coffee ☕️ if u don't like coffee I'm sorry😭
I hope y'all's years r going good lmao i don't have much to say.

anyways, I love you, stay hydrated!! mwuah💋💋