Death and Other Fun Stuff (#Wattys2015)

Missing You

We were going to play music together,

you and I.

We could plug into cheap practice amps-

that buzz of perpetual unwanted feedback-

sit back to back so we are touching

and play something by Metallica or Evanescence...

You could let me try out electric guitar

you could show me a few chords

but mostly, I would play

my beloved thrumming low notes,

my bass,

and you would carry a stringy, roaring melody.

We could sing together

both of us amateurs,

you could sing bold and strong

and I could slide in a

soft alto harmony

or I could sweep aside my shyness

and unleash my voice like no one is watching,

in a way I have never shown anyone,

and you could back me up

with a beautiful tenor undertone.

I could show you how to read music

since you're too carefree to teach yourself

counting and rhythms

and you could show me how to

stop being a perfectionist

and have fun with instruments,

to let anxiety release its death grip on my heart.

I know it's over

we were just a pair of silly lovestruck high school musicians

our constant fights have dwindled to nothing,

nothing at all

and you're dreaming of another girl

and it's better this way for everyone

but I refuse to surrender this longing-

no I will play bass alone in my room at night,

move lazily through pentatonics

shift them to a minor key to add to the effect,

mess around with chord progressions for a

song I have yet to write,

finger a silly twelve bar blues

and I will cry over you,

and imagine the day

when I bring you back

and you can take my hand

lift me out of a blazing abyss

and we can

play music together