Cries of Hell season 3 Polaroids

The rage

warning this chapter isn't my typical funny happy life is weird chapter this one is gonna be like my season 2 chapters the place child Nadia had to suffer the abuse and bully of my family also in a way this is gonna be a rant to I'll get into detail
I talked about my brother Allen at times I feel bad for him he does suffer from depression and it's really bad like he lays in his bed not eating all day for days he doesn't even play video games or go down stairs one time dad asked me if Allen was alive yes he is yes I feel bad for him at times yes but at times I feel bad for myself like last night me and Allen had conversation and he called me selfish for not having enough food for the house and I recently started learning how to cook for my family and well just fuck my food even tho he said it was good I felt upset when he called me selfish so I closed my door And he opened it back up "saying no why r u gonna make that face" and I tried closing the door but he had to shove it open and it was selfdefense I wanted him out so we did wrestle for A bit and it's not he got mad at me and I was losing as he even said " r u gonna stop" I hate Allen I feel like I'm reliving the times when I was being abused Im gonna distance myself from him not even that
during a few Christmas parties I've been tired of Allen's bullshit like at work we had a Christmas party and I invited Allen and the party was fun and all but Allen was actually having a lot of fun with this girl I've known for a long time her name is Milly and I find it interesting like Allen was drunk and Milly was high then me and a few ppl notice that these two were getting touchy I wasn't mad just extremely disappointed ik allen has a thing relationships like he suffers a lot from past relationships and its just so annoying that after this party he wont stop talking about milly and its exactly what happened 3 day after the party allen would not shut up about milly like after a few Hours of talking he doesnt stop yapping he keeps asking me about milly and not even remembering her name its "Emily" or "what's that girls name again" so like I said allens bad at relationships not he just met these 2 girls that treated hime like shit one girl was insane and the other girl is kinda dumb so this other girl treated Allen badly and they ended their friendship and a year goes by then idk why they text each other saying they wanna be friends again I thought it was a lie cuz after how they ended it I thought it was a nightmare and it was yet again they got into a fight and allen finally doesn't want to talk or speak to her guys if someone is gonna hurt u they can most likely do it again I told Allen that and he didn't care enough he want his crazy bitch but after a year he still talks about her I sound like a bitch most of he time but omg I tell him to shut up I don't wanna hear u whine and cry about some girl who hurt u twice I even told him u r dumb if u go back to her
so yes was I upset with him yes
we had a Christmas family party and there were so many times where my feelings never mattered like we were playing bingo and Geo 7year old child was getting too loud did I distance myself from them yes I hate loud kids and Allen asked me "hey why were u a bitch" their were times me ans my cousin were having simple conversations and Allen just had to butt in and put me down and bully me thx
before Christmas our family got together and most adults were drinking both me and Allen had some almost the same amount I had one shot cuz I was driving home and Allen had 2 both of us have different reactions I have a high tolerance Allen doesn't I don't gag a lot Allen does and when I told him this he said " no I had more than u your just not thinking about it" ik super aware u had more u had 2 shots at different times and i had 1 Allen gags more of a pussy I don't I have a high tolerance but nevermind me I'm just goofy
I was walking Chloe one Christmas evening my next door neighbor Dave saw me and he said "Nadia wait I have something for u" and Dave gave me gift cards for me and Chloe a total of $150 he even said "I hope u guys have a great Christmas" I didn't know a nice person like my neighbor could do this for me I actually felt happy when I came back home I told allen and that was a big mistake Allen asked if he could have. my neighbor gave me a present for me and Chloe and Allen thought he could have a part of it but I'm so glad he gave it back a simple "I didn't want it anymore"
our half brother told me Allen is crazy like dad Geo out half brother told me u need to get away from here he's right I should I need to leave but it's like I don't enough money I struggled paying past bills and ik with bad credit it's gonna be hard to buy a house
a few months ago I asked Allen is it possible u can find a job while I'm unemployed for a month (I work at a college lunch lady and for winter break it's month break so I'm unemployed for a month I did look for jobs but sadly with the year ending I didn't have a lot of chances) I remember Allen saying he was gonna try and get a job but as times passes he didn't. didn't even bother looking for jobs
I don't I say I do a lot for my family but at times I don't think I do enough
so Allen as your sister I'm saying this with from the honesty from my heart but the world doesnt fucking revolve around u I hate u