Cries of Hell season 3 Polaroids

Warm Kali

I miss going into the night with my friends I miss the stupid shit a lot walking around neighborhoods and just do the dummest stuff I mention this a lot maybe cuz I need it but rn I don't have a lot of friends who are down to do that I mean I love my night long walks but their not the same sometimes when I walk alone in the dark I can just hear the voices their voices the memories

Sometimes I would look at the playground and think about the stupid shit we did like putting a traffic cone in a basket ball hoop

Or that time jay and willow ate each others asses on the seesaw and when we would go into rich neighborhood and play the penis game or scream as loud as we could yet a 2 am while the Rich are trying to slumber young stupid shit

It's sad when I was still a child I still didn't do any fun stuff like this cuz crazy dad never let me do anything without him being then he had crazy thoughts of me being kidnapped and it would be the end of the world like if I ever go outside alone as a kid that would never happen cuz he flip his shit one time I went alone in the front yard for 4 minutes and then it was "how dare you go outside when I'm not their why would you do that you don't know what could happen to you!" Always sunshine and rainbows I swear I was never allowed to hangout with friends as a kid outside of school the only reason why I liked school was to see friends and stay away from home now on Christmas time as a kid was always my favorite cuz I would spent the week at my cousins house and I get a break from crazy mom and dad and my cousins parents were so nice they actually loved each other and their kids no stupid drama over no reason it was calm and quiet and not abusive no parents had a crazy addiction it was great I felt like a good child but going home was still shitty cuz dad was disgusted that I spent time with Hispanics and then he would ask me "why can't why come here" little Nadia would think "cuz I am disappointed of how your behavior is to some people cuz you think you better than everyone" but I kept quiet and one time he told me I couldn't come to their house and I asked "why?" And I was never allowed to "ask why" it's always don't ask why their was also a few times where friends would want to hang out with me but I could never cause he never approved or allowed it he doesn't know what could happened if he wasn't their man I am so happy to be an adult and do stupid shit outside with him their now if I was allowed to go see friends with another parts of the neighborhood I had to do one thing if that fucker whistled I had come running back and you know how kids are their their loud laughing and screaming so I would miss like 2 whistles and when I came back guess what "how do you miss my whistle you could have been kidnapped" at the time I would get sad and cry about this but rn adult Nadia when I think about this I'm just 😐 fuck you dad not even dad your just Robert now when I was working at subway we had these group of middle schoolers who would harassed us but in a small world I envy them their kids on their bikes going around their the plaza and other neighborhoods doing little kid shit I wish I could have done that but I never did I still wonder what was it like do to stuff they did actually as a kid I never did a sleep over with friends but I did as an adult but like with a group of friends and that filled a childhood experience I got to have

Me writing that last part almost made me cry and I'm at the gym was I wrote this

I still wish me and friends or a group of close. Friends in the summer we should have a water gun fight in a rich neighborhood