Erwin Smith Oneshots

To my loving husband

  Your husband is the commander of the survey corps, he is away in Shiganshina taking back what was once ours from to treacherous monsters. You grew more and more anxious each day leading up to his departure, you try your hardest to convince him to stay home with you and your son who no older than a few months.
 
  "Erwin please" you would plead with him to stay home. "Y/n you know how important this is.... I can't back out of it now" he says with sorrow in his voice, "but what about your child, I don't want him to grow up without a father, I don't want him to only grow up with stories and not the real thing!" You try your hardest to convince him but he is the most stubborn person you have ever met, another reason why you fell in love with him. "I am sorry y/n but this is important, this is for the sake of humanity, I don't want our son to grow up in fear of those monsters" he says as he makes his way out the door.

  "How long do you think this will take?" You ask, he gives you a shrug "I am unsure" he turns around to face you, you make your way over to him and hug him, one last embrace until he comes back, you look up to him "I'll write to your office, so when you come back you can read everything that happened since you have left" he gives you a soft smile before saying "I would love that" he then places a kiss on your lips before finally leaving. You watch him make his way to the town, with each of his steps your heart drops further and further down, you want the best for humanity but not when it's a suicide mission you know how important this is to Erwin but you hate seeing him go. You make your way back in the house and tend to your child.

  You start writing later that night:

"To my loving husband,
Even though it has only been a few hours my heart longs for you, I can not sleep well tonight knowing that your life is on the line. I just want for you to come home in one piece, no more losing arms due to your stupidity. Me and your son miss dearly, please make it back safely.
Love, y/n"

  You send out the letter and make your way back home, you stare at the ceiling on your half empty bed, you roll to your side and stare where your husband would normally be asleep, you just stare at the wall past the bed and start softly sobbing before finally falling asleep.

  The next day came around and you wrote 3 more letters, as you are finishing up the third one your child starts to fuss, "oh you are okay my love" you say as you cradle the child in your arms "there is nothing to worry about my dear, shh shh shh" you shush him back to sleep and continue to cradle him before you yourself starts to shut your eyes, you quickly put your child back in his cribe before falling asleep right next to him. You woke up to your child once again fussing but this time he was hungry and you were quite hungry as well, you feed him first before going and making yourself something to eat. Once you are done with your meal you get your kid and make your way to Erwin's office to drop off your letters.

  Another day passes and you start to feel a little anxious once more, you pace back and forth before picking up your pencil and paper and writing down all the thoughts that are going through your mind. The words just spill out of you, you are writing as if you are running out of time, writing like your life depended on it. One letter which contains 3 pages, in those 3 pages was everything going through your mind, good and bad, you put it in an envelope and place it on your dining table. You lay in bed and every bad thought is rushing through your brain, "is my husband dead?" "Is he coming home?" "Will my son grow up not knowing how great his father was" you soon exhaust yourself and fall asleep.

  Third day came around, the scouts came home, you only 9 soldiers are to be seen, you try and take a good look at their faces. "Where is Erwin?!" You think to yourself, you hold your son tightly, you make your way to the front of the crowd and try to get the attention of either Hange or Levi, "Hange! Levi!" Your yell out, you catch both of their attention and they give you a very disappointed look, Levi makes his way towards you, your heart is racing and your breathing gets a little heavy, tears start to form in your eyes. "Y/n-" you cut Levi off "please don't tell me" you say in a broken and shakey voice, "it was a difficult decision y/n but he needed his rest" Levi says and he watches you break down in the middle of the road, holding on to your child tightly and you wail in pain it's is quite the sight. "My husband! My dear husband!" You scream out, Levi takes your child from your arms and also tries to pick you up and take you home.

  Levi takes you home and explains everything that had happened, you couldn't believe it, you didn't know how to feel, you felt anger and sadness all at once, you felt the sadness because you have just lost your husband and the father of your child, and anger towards Levi and those kids that convinced Levi to save their friend. You went through days without eating and taking care of your own son, Levi and Hange had to come in and take care of your baby and yourself for a period of time before your finally healed from the pain just a little bit to do the bare minimum of taking care of yourself and your baby.

To this day those letters you wrote to Erwin lay unopened and unread in his office put away in a drawer where Hange placed once they took over as commander.