His beautiful girl

Dix-huit

A/N: Hey, I know it's been a long time but I have been really busy these last few months, and I try to post most of the time. I have written some parts so I only have to upload so I hope I will post more. I hope you like this part, also a Happy New Year. I hope all your wishes will come true! X

The next day I want to tell Alex. Better to tell him now than later so the storm can pass sooner than later. I take my phone and stare at our messages for 5 minutes. I'm scared, I'm not going to lie about it. Hell, I'm terrified even but I have to do this. 

I hate myself for hurting Alex and I want to say sorry. I tried to type the right words. I change the text at least 10 times when I think I have the good text.
Emily: Hey, I was wondering if you would like to talk. I need to tell you something and would like to tell you as soon as possible. I can every time of the day. X

It feels like ages when he responds. Between my text and his response which I don't dare to open I already went to my mom and to the store to get some food. I heard my phone when I was ready to cook my pasta and set the table for myself. 

I sit down when my food is ready and I just stare at the notification. I'm scared, maybe Charles already told him a little voice in my head told me. I open the chat and read it very slowly.
Alex: Yes, of course, I have to work until 8 p.m. You can come to my office then, I will send you the location if you wish.
Emily: Yes, that would be amazing.

Alex answers with a smiling emoji and I open the chat with Lando.
Emily: I'm going to say it to Alex tonight.
Lando: Good luck girl. If you need me just call me! X
I'm so scared of tonight that I just want to puke.

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When it's 20 before 8 I enter the elevator. I press the button but the elevator goes above and not down. Something in me hopes it's not Charles because I would not be able to say anything. The doors open on Charles his floor and I pray. I don't believe in god, I don't believe in anything to be fair but if there was something I hope he or she would just do 1 thing for me. 

It feels like 10 minutes before the doors open and I'm relieved when I see the person standing in front of me. It's an older man with a younger woman. The woman looks a bit like the man so I assume it is his daughter. I give them a lazy smile at them and they smile back. 

The lift goes downstairs and I let the older man outside first when we arrive at the ground floor. I look at my phone because I got a note faction but it was not important. When I want to put my phone away I bump into someone with my right shoulder. 

I look at the person and see beautiful blue eyes. I look at him and it's him, Charles. I want to say something but my voice does not want to. I feel hurt, this man has so much impact on me and I only know him for less than 2 months. 

'I'm sorry.' I say with tears in my eyes not even knowing myself for saying sorry because of this morning or that I bumped into him. I hold my tears back so he can't see. Secretly I want to cry in his arms. He nods and goes to the elevator. I want to scream wait, or I'm sorry but I don't. I feel like he just did something bad to me while I hurt him and I hate myself for it.

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I wait outside his office. I can sit in the room where his secretary is working but I just can't, I'm so nervous. It's already 15 past 8 and I'm going crazy. His secretary told me he was in a very important meeting but I honestly did not care about it. I want to say it as soon as possible before I chicken out. 

I picture different scenarios in my head.
1. Alex yells at me and hates me forever.
2. Alex smiles at me and says he forgives me and it's okay.
3. Alex kisses me and says he loves me and it does not matter. (Which I will have to break his heart and he will then be mad or sad or okay with it.)
4. Alex cries and shouts at me.

Before I can start my 5th scenario 3 older men around 40 I thinkwalk out in Alex his office. They are wearing formal clothes and shake Alex's hand with a smile. I would be so happy for him because I think he just had a deal with them. After all, he is smiling from ear to ear. But I have other things to think about. 

They leave and Alex looks directly at me. He had a formal smile when he looked at the men but when he looks at me he has a genuine smile. 'HeyEm, come in.' He says and lets me into his office. His office is not that very special. 

He has a big desk that is grey. His desk is filled with paper and a computer. Some paintings are hanging on the wall and the wallpaper is dark. Next to his computer, I can see a photo frame but I can't see what photo it is because it because the photo is on the other side of me. He also has 3 chairs in a triangle position with a little table in the middle in a corner at the right side of his desk. 

He kisses me on the cheek to welcome me and we sit in the chairs. Alex sits opposite me and looks a little confused and I think because I don't look happy. I feel stressed like shit and I'm scared. 'Is something wrong?' I nod and look at Alex. 

Not 3 minutes ago he had a smile on his face when he saw me. When I tell him I know for sure he will not smile at me when I tell him everything. 'I need to tell you something Alex.' Alex looks worried but does not interrupt me, I play with my ring when I breathe in and out and look at him. I feel sick, I just wanted to run away but I know. I have to do this, not for me but for Alex. I want to be fair to him.

I don't feel the courage to tell this into his face so I look a little above his head so he thinks I look at him. 'I'm in love white Charles. I found out I had been in love with him when I kissed you at the beach.' I pause to hear his reaction and I hear nothing but I don't look at his face, I don't dare to do it. 

I continue. 'There is more, I have had sex with him when you came to my apartment. I did not want to play you, I liked you both. I mean you are both handsome and charming and you're so nice. I could not choose but when I kissed you I knew I had fallen in love with Charles. And I'm so sorry I did that I'm so so so sorry Alex.' I let a tear fall and I found to courage to look at his face.

 He has his lips pressed into a thin line and I see disappointment and hurt in his eyes.