my girl

ten

they arrived at the perfect time. the sun was just beginning to set, not so much that the sky changed colors but the sky was brighter like it usually was right before the sun set.

they got out and let all the seats down in the truck, scooting the driver and passenger seat back against the second row seats so they'd have something to rest against.

"what's all of this?" mirella asked as she came across the bags nervana hid in the car.

"some things i thought we'd need for our picnic." nervana smiled, pulling the comforter from the bag they stuffed it in.

"come help me with this." she tilted her chin softly. they smoothed the comforter over the laid down seats and then they threw the pillows and throw blankets on top of the comforter.

"hang on." nervana said as mirella was about to start unpacking the picnic basket. she grabbed the lap desk and sat it towards the middle of the truck. she also placed the light atop the lap desk.

"oh that's so cute." mirella smiled while climbing up into the truck.

"can i keep this after our date is done?" nervana laughed softly.

"of course you can." she walked to the passenger side door and grabbed her laptop before climbing in the truck.

"you picked really good things." mirella smiled while looking through the other walmart bags full of snacks.

"thanks." nervana smiled proudly, pulling up the playlist she made for this picnic. as they got settled the sun began setting, casting beautiful colors across all of the sky. about thirty minutes in is when they opened up the food, spreading it across the lap desk.

"this is so cute." mirella said while looking over at nervana, who already stared at her with a faint smile.

"you picked a great date." nervana said, tilting her head softly as she watched mirella blush.

"date?" now nervana blushed.

"well.. i wasn't sure what to call it." she looked away when mirellas eyebrows furrowed sadly. they were quiet while watching the sunset after this. the tension was thicker than when they were driving here. once it got to dusk mirella sat up to pick a movie for them to watch.

"any suggestions?" nervana shook her head softly. mirella spun back to the computer and decided on mean girls, she remembered nervana saying she'd never seen it. mirella rested against the back of the driver seat and pulled a throw blanket over her legs, also grabbing a sandwich from the basket. they watched the movie with minimal conversation before mirella laid her head on nervana's shoulder.

it was halfway through the movie when nervana realized mirella was asleep. she carefully packed up the back seat, making sure anything that would roll around got put in the picnic basket before carrying mirella to the driver seat.

"nervana?" mirella whispered, sitting up as nervana laid the blanket over her shoulders.

"i'm here, we're gonna head home now." mirella shook her head.

"no no... i didn't mean to ruin our date." nervana smiled and pushed her shoulders back to the seat, also reclining her seat.

"i know you're sleepy, get some sleep." mirella knew it wasn't worth trying to fight nervana. the blond closed the trunk and got into the driver seat.

as they reached the highway their arrival time got pushed back by an hour due to a bad accident, so they were currently at a stand still. by this time mirella had sat her seat up and got a sandwich for nervana and some of the skewers for herself to snack on.

the awkwardness in the car was thicker than ever. we fell in love in october played lightly on the radio, but otherwise they hadn't said anything to each other. mirella gazed at nervana as traffic stopped again. she blushed when nervana turned to look at her, but in the same breath she couldn't look away.

"what?" mirella asked, her voice gentle.

"you're so cute" nervana replied, her tone as soft as mirellas. she's never felt her heart sink further than it had just now. she still couldn't pull her eyes away from the piercing blue eyes. nervana was first to look away as her cheeks turned red.

"what?" mirella asked softly, sitting up a little bit to see her better.

"nothing." nervana answered while meeting the others eyes again. she noticed mirella looked sad.

"what'd i do?" she asked, inching the car forwards as they rolled along about a foot. the song playing switched to i want to be your girlfriend.

"you looked away." she answered softly.

"because," nervana trailed.

"you're just... so pretty." mirella smiled back at her.

"you're pretty." her pale cheeks brightened with color. it was quiet for awhile as nervana focused on moving the car forwards, but as they came to a stand still again she looked back to mirellas eyes.

"are you in love with me or something?" nervanas question came out so quiet, mirella thought she'd imagined it... but she'd been focused on her lips so she knew the words came from nervana's lips. she would also like to revoke her earlier statement, her heart sunk further than it had earlier... way further.

"what!" mirellas tone was shocked, a scream in the silence that filled the car.

"are you in love with me or something." nervana repeated in her same low, calm tone.

"no!" she replied defensively. then she thought about it for a second. silence once again filled the car.

"do you want me to be?" she asked. silence stretched between the two longer than before.

"it just... looks like you are, the way you're looking at me." mirella scoffed softly while turning to look out of her window. she hoped that maybe, nervana would realize... maybe she wouldn't have to feel so alone with her feelings and so bad about liking nervana. but that wasn't the case, apparently. she felt the tears filling her eyes but she reached up to wipe them away.

she's never had one girl she's liked that has been simple. she always felt that maybe, she should just date guys. dating guys would be so much easier. but realistically dating guys would be more hurtful to her, having to be someone she's not. she knew that dating guys wasn't the answer but she always wished she could be simple and have simple relationships like everyone else.

"what?" nervana asked while trying to look at mirella, but she had completely turned her body away from her.

"el's." she said softly, resting her hand against mirellas thigh. her heart broke when seeing the tear drip down her cheeks. she merged over to the shoulder and cupped mirellas face, trying to turn mirella to look at her.

"what's wrong?" she asked softly, brushing away her tears.

"nothing." she tried to stop the tears but they just wouldn't stop rolling.

"just get us home.. please." she cried softly, her voice breaking. nervanas heart hurt to see mirella so broken down but she obliged, merging back onto the highway that was beginning to move a little faster. she laid her seat back and pulled the blankets over her face. this was humiliating.