26. Deep Conversations, Sweet Talking, and Familiar Spellbooks

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I watched as Ares ran his hand through his hair, not meeting my eyes.We had waited to speak until we reached the privacy of my dorm room, and I found myself silently wishing that we stayed in the library or corridors instead. There was no escape if I was in here.

I looked down at my lap. Embarrassment filled me from the inside out. "How long ago?" Ares' voice cut through the silence.

I didn't need to ask what he was talking about. "The same year Percy was born."

"Eighteen years? You didn't tell me for eighteen years?" He sounded genuinely upset. I looked up to find him with glassy eyes, blinking furiously at the ceiling to keep tears at bay. I almost recoiled in shock. I hadn't ever seen Ares cry.

The show of emotion made me want to cry too, but I refused to act like whatever happened back them still affected me. "It wasn't something I exactly wanted to advertise." I snapped back.

"But Apollo knows? Percy?"

I was aware that I should feel guilty; Ares had been my confidant, and me his. We had been closer than most Gods for almost centuries now. Yet, I couldn't find it in myself to feel guilty. Instead, white hot anger brushed against me.

"Yes, they know! Apollo is the fucking God of Healing, someone I needed at the time. I trust Percy enough to tell him."

"And you don't trust me."

Shit. This was not how the conversation was supposed to go.

The response was a statement, not a question. I didn't reply. The heavy silence hung in the air for a few minutes, only being broken by Ares' words.

"Are you ok?"

The words almost had me in tears - and for no reason. When was the last time someone had asked if I was ok, and actually meant it?

"I'm fine." I was lying through my teeth, and both of us knew it.

"No, you're not. Stop lying to me." His tone had traces of irritation.

"What are you going to do if I don't?"

"Aph, I get that you're hurting, but you can't let your anger out on me. It's not fair. I care for you, and that's why I'm here, I'm not going to hurt you, but right now you're not being fair or nice to me, and I don't like it." He said.

"You don't like it?" Anger burned my vision, letting my divine form seep through. "Do you think I liked having their hands on me?" His eyes widened. I internally cursed myself for saying 'their'.

"But then again, what do I expect from you? You're nothing more than a simple war god. Blood and lust run rampant in your veins." The words cut through him, even someone blind could see that.

He stayed silent and picked up his bag from my bed, lifting it over his shoulder. "I'll come back when you're done being a bitch."

I froze in momentary shock. His tone was so icy that even Khione would be jealous.

As he was leaving, he turned back slightly. "I used to be known as the Protector of Women as both Ares and Mars. Blood may run rampant in my life, but lust doesn't."

The door slammed shut behind him.

———

I groaned, tugging at my hair furiously. I flopped back onto my bed, the frustration making me physically unable to sit still. I hadn't meant to snap at Ares; my anger was a defence mechanism. I wold rather make Ares hate me purposely, than hear him say that he hated me for real. I would be the one to hurt him first.

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